# The way to get along: start with your appearance, respect your talent, match your character, last longer than kindness, and finally your character

**Published by:** [乘飞机](https://paragraph.com/@0x0d11b4997077322ae43150473453475c09271b52/)
**Published on:** 2022-04-11
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@0x0d11b4997077322ae43150473453475c09271b52/the-way-to-get-along-start-with-your-appearance-respect-your-talent-match-your-character-last-longer-than-kindness-and-finally-your-character

## Content

Some people are bright but aggressive, while others are ugly but popular. The former is suffocating and the latter is comfortable. Are there such people around you who may not be amazing or outstanding, but have a different charm that makes you want to get close to them, put down your guard and tell your secrets? From the outside to the inside, a person can be divided into five levels: appearance, ability, temper, character and character. The corresponding quality is also five levels: appearance, talent, character, kindness and character. These five levels are not only the way to know people in the world, but also the way to cultivate your heart. Starting with appearance, respecting talent, conforming to character, lasting longer than kindness, and finally character - this is the complete path. （1） Start with appearance Everyone has a love of beauty. Since ancient times, people have talked about the four beauties of Xi Shi, Diao Chan, Wang Zhaojun and Yang Yuhuan, and the four beauties of Pan an, King Lanling, Song Yu and Wei Yu. It's just the beauty in the eyes of the ancients. They don't talk about heroes with beauty and ugliness, but pay attention to their looks. During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao once received an envoy from the Huns. He felt that he was short and not outstanding, so he asked the tall and handsome Cui Jiyu to pretend to be himself, but Cao Cao himself stood next to him with a knife. When the Hun emissary wanted to go back, Cao Cao asked the spy to ask the emissary, "what do you think of King Wei (Cao Cao) The messenger replied: The king was dignified and elegant, but standing aside, the man with the knife was a hero. According to historical records, Cao Cao's "short appearance and brilliant hair" is true! Looks are natural. We have no choice. When it comes to appearance, appearance is not the first, but temperament and aura. Just as some paintings look beautiful at a glance, but the more they look, the more boring they become; Some of them are new, but the more they taste, the more delicious they are. To know people, we should look inside them; To be a man, you should keep it inside. Success comes from within, and it will come from outside. Where does temperament and aura come from? Aesthetics in the eyes, experience in the body, insight in the brain and self-restraint in the heart. The most direct thing is reading. Su Dongpo called "poetry and Book Spirit come from China", and Zeng Guofan called "reading can change temperament". In your temperament, there are the roads you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved. （2） Respect for talent People who really have great wisdom and talent must be low-key people. Lao Tzu said, "the way of heaven, the loss is more than enough to make up for the deficiency; the way of man, the loss is not enough to serve more than enough.". Only because the world is infinite and the emphasis is on balance, it needs to be realized by learning from each other. Everyone has his own strengths and can't compare with others. The important thing is to find out where your strengths are and what your strengths are, and then consciously cultivate and develop them. There is a "barrel theory" in the west, which says that how much water a barrel can hold depends on the shortest board that makes up the barrel. But life is not a bucket. No matter how big the bucket is, the water it can hold is limited. Moreover, what the Chinese taboo is "when the water is full, it overflows". Life is a road. How long the plank in your hand is, how long the bridge can be built and how wide the ditch can be crossed, which also determines how far you can go. This road leads to infinity. It is said that he Zhizhang fell in love with Li Bai at first sight. When he met Li Bai for the first time, he took off his golden turtle and pledged to exchange wine with Li Bai. This admiration and appreciation for talent is a kind of respect. True talent and wisdom is a kind of insight. Their charm comes from richness, introversion, warmth and kindness, and exudes a temperament from inside to outside. Such a person is respectable and respectable. （3） Fit in character Character is half born and half developed. There is no fixed definition of a good character. In short, it is to make others like you. Take out a piece of paper, write down the character you like on each of your 10 friends, and then turn it into what you own. This is a good character. Birds of a feather flock together. People with similar personalities tend to get along and lose their temper. To get along with the vast majority of people, we need to be cultivated, gentle and prudent. As the ancients said, "look like it, that is, it is also warm"! Some people may not look amazing, but they have a kind of personality charm, which makes people comfortable and want to be close to them. Being with such people is like listening to a soothing music, tasting a cup of mellow hot tea and watching a flower bloom quietly, with a touch of joy in peace. （4） Longer than kindness A good man is a good man. Kindness is to be kind to others. If you have good thoughts in your heart, you will bring joy to others and yourself. Therefore, the ancients said: "kindness is the most precious treasure, which can not be used up all your life; if your heart is a good field, it will be consumed for more than a hundred generations." Li Shutong was a music teacher in his early years. Once in class, one student was reading idle books while the other student spit everywhere. After class, Li Shutong asked the two students to stay and told them in a very gentle voice not to read idle books or spit in class next time. As soon as the two students were about to plead, Li Shutong bowed to them. The two students immediately blushed. Only kindness can have a long-term influence. When one has only good thoughts in his heart, all the flashy scenes of the world have long retreated, and there are only one soul that is equal and should be respected. When kindness meets kindness, it will bloom the most beautiful flowers in the world. （5） Finally character Generally speaking, to appreciate a person is to appreciate his character. The ancients believed that "virtue, meritorious service and speech" were "three Immortalities", and the first was "Virtue". Similarly, to be a man in advance, the key depends on character. People with good character always shine wherever they go. A person with good character must be considerate and compassionate. His charm comes from richness, introversion, warmth and compassion, and exudes a kind of nobility from inside to outside. A person with good character must be delicate and smart. He works reasonably and speaks with discretion. He can speak every word to your heart, overcome hardness with softness and resolve problems in silence. Sometimes just a look and action can make people feel the warmth of the world. It begins with appearance, respect for talent, fit in character, long in kindness, and finally character. If you can keep this right path, you can hand in the most worthy one among thousands of people; Among thousands of choices, choose the most meaningful one.

## Publication Information

- [乘飞机](https://paragraph.com/@0x0d11b4997077322ae43150473453475c09271b52/): Publication homepage
- [All Posts](https://paragraph.com/@0x0d11b4997077322ae43150473453475c09271b52/): More posts from this publication
- [RSS Feed](https://api.paragraph.com/blogs/rss/@0x0d11b4997077322ae43150473453475c09271b52): Subscribe to updates