# Back view

By [0x12](https://paragraph.com/@0x12vcc) · 2022-04-10

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I haven't seen my father for more than two years, and the thing I can't forget the most is his back. That winter, my grandmother died and my father's mission was also handed over. It was the day when misfortunes never came singly. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou and planned to go home with my father for the funeral. When I went to Xuzhou to see my father, I saw the mess in the courtyard, and I remembered my grandmother, and I couldn't help shedding tears. The father said, "It's already like this, don't be sad, fortunately there is no way out!" When I went home and sold the pledge, my father paid the shortfall; he borrowed money for the funeral. These days, the situation at home is very bleak, half for the funeral, half for the father's idleness. After the funeral was over, my father was going to Nanjing to do business, and I was going back to Beijing to study, so we walked together. When I arrived in Nanjing, a friend invited me to go shopping and stayed for a day; the next morning I had to cross the river to Pukou, and in the afternoon I got on the bus to go north. Because my father was busy, he had already decided not to escort me, and asked a familiar teahouse in the hotel to accompany me. He repeatedly instructed the tea room, very carefully. But he was finally worried, afraid that the tea room would not be in place; he hesitated for a while. In fact, I was twenty years old at the time, and I had come to and from Beijing two or three times, so it didn't really matter. After hesitating for a while, he finally decided to take me on his own. I persuaded him not to go two or three times; he just said, "It doesn't matter, it's not good for them to go!" We crossed the river and entered the station. I bought the ticket and he was busy looking after the luggage. There is too much luggage, so you have to tip the porter before you can pass. He was busy negotiating prices with them. I was really too smart at that time, and I always felt that his speech was not very beautiful, and I had to intervene myself. But he finally settled on a price; he put me in the car. He chose a chair for me by the car door; I spread out the purple fur coat he made for me. He told me to be careful on the road, to be more alert at night, and not to catch cold. He also asked the tea room to take good care of me. I laughed inwardly at his deviousness; they only knew money, and they trusted them for nothing! Besides, as an old man like me, can't I take care of myself? Alas, when I think about it now, it was so clever back then! I said, "Dad, let's go." He looked out of the car and said, "I'll buy some oranges. You're right here, don't move around." I saw a few outside the fence on the platform over there. Sellers waiting for customers. To get to the platform over there, you have to cross the railway, jump off and climb up again. My father is a fat man, so it would be a little troublesome to walk over. I wanted to go, but he refused, so I had to let him go. I saw him wearing a small black cap, a large black jacket, and a dark blue cotton robe, staggering to the edge of the railway, and slowly leaning down, it was not too difficult. But it was not easy for him to cross the railway and climb up to the platform over there. He clings to it with both hands, his feet tucked up again; his fat body leans slightly to the left, showing effort. Then I saw his back, my tears flowed down quickly. I quickly wiped away my tears, for fear that he would see it and that others would see it. When I looked out again, he had already hugged the vermillion orange and looked back away. When crossing the railway, he first scattered the oranges on the ground, slowly climbed down by himself, and then picked up the oranges and walked away. When I got here, I hurried to help him. He and I went to the car and put the orange on my fur coat. So he fluttered the dirt on his clothes, feeling very relaxed, and said after a while, "I'm leaving; write a letter over there!" I watched him go out. He walked a few steps, turned around and saw me, and said, "Come in, there's no one in there." When his back was mixed with the people coming and going, and he couldn't find it anymore, I came in and sat down, and my tears came again. . In recent years, my father and I have been running around, and the situation at home has been getting worse day by day. He went out to make a living as a teenager, supported by himself, and did many great things. Knowing the old realm is so decadent! He was so sad that he couldn't help himself. Depressed in the heart, it is natural to express it outside; family trivialities often arouse his anger. He treats me gradually different from the past. But after not seeing him for the past two years, he finally forgot about my bad, just thinking about me and my son. After I came north, he wrote a letter to me, in which he said, "My body is safe, but my arm is sore, and I have a lot of inconvenience to carry a pen. It is not far off." I read this. , In the crystal tears, I saw the figure of the fat, blue cotton robe and black jacket again. Ugh! I don't know when I can see him again!

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*Originally published on [0x12](https://paragraph.com/@0x12vcc/back-view-2)*