# The way of speaking is the way of being human

**Published by:** [好样的](https://paragraph.com/@0x49301a4fbce4e2a9c75d446664fcb0e811b89223/)
**Published on:** 2022-05-06
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@0x49301a4fbce4e2a9c75d446664fcb0e811b89223/the-way-of-speaking-is-the-way-of-being-human

## Content

Cai Kangyong, a famous Taiwan host who is familiar with the "way of speaking", recently held a signing meeting for his work "Cai Kangyong's way of speaking" in Guangzhou, Shanghai and other cities, and held a lecture at Sun Yat sen University, which attracted many young fans and white-collar workers. At the lecture, he delivered such an enlightening and enlightening famous saying: "noble people may not change life, appearance may not determine charm, but speaking can. Practicing speaking well is the most cost-effective thing in life." In my opinion, the way of speaking is the way of being human. Especially in the workplace, how do superiors, subordinates, homosexuals and heterosexuals get along? Many professionals do not know how to speak, especially in the face of misunderstandings from their superiors and colleagues, they are easy to get into a panic, resulting in psychological depression. Cai Kangyong's survival wisdom in the entertainment industry can inspire people in this situation, and for college graduates who are new to the workplace, it is a classic. 1、 Speaking frankly is not the essence of speaking After graduating from University, Wang Xin has been doing marketing work in a garment production enterprise for three years. In terms of experience, ability and efficiency, he thinks he is no worse than his colleagues. Other people who joined the company with him have been promoted and raised in three years, but why can't he be reused by his boss? On a business trip, the manager's secretary pointed out the maze for him. It turned out that Wang Xin, who was serious and responsible, was once the key training object in the boss's heart. But Wang Xin usually talks too frankly and doesn't pay attention to the way of speaking. As a result, she offended some people. His bad comments came to the boss. The boss thought he lacked skills in interpersonal communication, so everyone complained about his frank speech, which affected his promotion. The manager's secretary told Wang Xin that at the end of last year, the marketing plan of the company's marketing department was returned by the boss due to immaturity and needed to be re formulated. After completing their own work, other employees of the department took the initiative to work overtime to help the supervisor, because the boss was in a hurry after going to work the next day. But Wang Xin, like a nobody, left work on time. Before leaving, he frankly told a seemingly reasonable but unruly truth: "this is not what I should do, and there is no overtime pay. Who is willing to waste this time that can not reflect the value!" The words came naturally to the boss. How can opportunities come to a person who has no sense of team and is unwilling to take on more responsibilities? At a lecture at Sun Yat sen University, Cai Kangyong once gave this advice to professionals: "many Chinese idioms describing eloquence are a beautiful misunderstanding, such as eloquence, eloquence, with three points of water, and it's a good thing to feel that talking can't be shut down like running water. But in real life, such people will only give us a headache. People with real eloquence are very comfortable and care about others." What Cai Kangyong advocates in his book is that everyone can jump out of his own position to understand others. Speaking frankly is not the true meaning of speaking. Many people think that what you say reveals what kind of person you are. Cai Kangyong thinks that's more than that. He advised such people, such as Wang Xin in the above story, who spoke frankly in the workplace, that such people are what they say. If she likes to complain, she will become a "complaining girl"; He's always telling pornographic jokes. He's just his uncle... Although they may not be like this in their bones, that's the impression. Think about it carefully. Kang Yong's advice is indeed reasonable. Giving a bad impression often becomes a stumbling block in work. Wang Xin's situation is an example and should attract people's attention. 2、 He who knows how to admit defeat knows how to speak After graduating from Xiaoya University, she worked as a clerk in the administrative department of a foreign trade company. Working for less than half a year, Xiaoya was in trouble. The reason is that there are rumors in the Department that Xiaoya is a relative of the boss and a "spy" placed by the boss among the employees. To this end, colleagues have alienated her. Unexpectedly, Xiaoya, who refused to admit defeat, did not find the reason. Instead, she deliberately said such words in front of her colleagues: "I'm the boss's relative and spy. What can you do to me?" Not long after saying this, one afternoon, when the boss passed the office, he suddenly put his head in and said, "Xiaoya, call my wife later. She said she would go to have her hair done with you." At that time, there was an uproar in the office, and some colleagues joked that you had such a good personal relationship with your boss. Due to the busy work at hand, Xiaoya didn't explain much. Unexpectedly, this matter spread all over the company at an amazing speed. What's more outrageous is that even the boss knew about it and thought that Xiaoya made trouble and deliberately approached him in front of her colleagues. The boss was very dissatisfied with Xiaoya's behavior. In fact, the bad thing about Xiaoya who doesn't know how to admit defeat is that she can't speak. At the beginning, there was a rumor in the Department that she was the boss's relative and "spy". She should stand up in time to clarify and eliminate the misunderstanding of her colleagues, but she made a mistake and deliberately said that she was the boss's relative. This was the wrong first step. Later, the boss asked her to call her wife and do her hair with her. She should explain the reason in front of her colleagues. According to Xiaoya later, when taking the elevator with the landlady, the landlady praised her beautiful hairstyle and offered to take her to do the same hairstyle as Xiaoya when she had time. The landlady must have told the boss about it, so the boss asked Xiaoya to go with her wife. For the doubts and surprises of her colleagues, Xiaoya should not acquiesce at that time. She should explain the context of the matter clearly, so as to dispel everyone's doubts. However, Xiaoya refused to admit defeat and didn't know how to speak, which resulted in an unfavorable situation for her. Kang Yong advised: "give up the meaningless victory to the other party. People who know how to admit defeat know how to speak." To this end, he hopes that those professionals who are good at debate can take a warning. In the case, he said that there was an employee of a company who graduated from a first-class university. He had eloquence, clear logic, rich knowledge and eloquence. At every department meeting, if the boss asks for his opinions, he can talk freely and have ideas. Unfortunately, his colleagues found him very annoying. When things need to be coordinated, people in other departments are rarely willing to cooperate with him. (www.lz13. CN) people in the same department are also reluctant to accompany him to attack. Why? Because when this colleague has different opinions from others, he always makes the other party speechless. Those who lose to him verbally expect him to make a fool of himself. Being unpopular is not only a problem in his life and communication, but also a curse caused by his eloquence. In fact, at first, his superiors appreciated him very much, but when the superiors found that he didn't know how to admit defeat or how to speak, and his popularity was too poor to do things well and play team war, their evaluation of him was greatly reduced. 3、 Dealing with "stumbling blocks" with speaking skills Xiaoyang is a new employee of a company. Although he is inexperienced, he works hard and seriously, which is highly praised by his colleagues and superiors. Only one colleague, Wang Ke, is often "picky" about Xiaoyang, thinking that his thinking is not active enough and his design is lack of creativity, so it is difficult to take on the big responsibility. At first, Xiaoyang didn't care. He always avoided contact with Wang Ke. Can't he hide if he can't provoke him? Once, the company managed to win a large project through bidding, in which the design link was very important. Xiaoyang wanted to enter the design team, but the competition within the Department was very fierce. Soon, the list came out, and Xiaoyang failed to enter the project team. Later, he learned that when selecting personnel, the boss specially listened to Wang Ke's opinions. After all, Wang Ke has deep qualifications and sufficient experience, and his words have become the basis for the boss's reference. When Xiaoyang learned that Wang Ke was a hindrance to his failure to enter the design team, he was a little angry, but it was not easy to attack, so he found an opportunity to interview Wang Ke. This time, Xiaoyang invited Wang Ke to dinner. At the wine table, Xiaoyang gently used his unique speaking skills to "teach" Wang Ke a lesson. Although Xiaoyang spoke calmly with a smile on his face, Wang Ke felt very unhappy and could not admit that he had made hands and feet to Xiaoyang many times. He just secretly told himself that Xiaoyang was very unusual and could not underestimate him in the future. One of Xiaoyang's words has been firmly engraved in Wang Ke's heart. Xiaoyang said: "Mr. Wang, you are the elder of the company, and I have to learn from you in my work. Brother, I will make progress in the future, and I will write down a pen for you in my performance book. I hope you will give more help and guidance in the future!" Wang Ke knows that this is Xiaoyang's soft and thorny words, but such words are more effective than confronting him face to face. Since then, Wang Ke has not only stopped tripping Xiaoyang in his work, but also made Xiaoyang convenient everywhere, helping him stand out in the project competition again and again. A year later, Xiaoyang was promoted to department head because of his excellent work and excellent eloquence. Among them, it is natural that Wang Ke's mentality has changed. Kang Yong advised: "in the workplace, when a person is dissatisfied with another person's practices and behaviors, in fact, it is not necessary to let the other person admit defeat and mistake in front of you. This will not help the progress of things. You can keep your words and remind them roundly if the other person is not too blind (idiot) , you should be able to hear your position, which requires your speaking skills. Conversely, when you meet someone who is very strong and has to force you to admit defeat, if admitting defeat will not hurt your principle, I suggest you laugh it off and give up the meaningless victory to the other party. This will show that you have great measurement and the other party will be happy to cooperate with you further. " Cai Kangyong's remark applies not only to people in the workplace like Xiaoyang in the above story, but also to other people who encounter "stumbling blocks" in the workplace. As long as we master the speaking skills and measure greatly when dealing with the opponent, we can convince people with "courtesy". More importantly, when the person who despises you makes trouble for you, you should face him bravely, listen to his dissatisfaction with you, look at your shortcomings again, correct them if you have something, and encourage others if you don't. Only in this way, there will be fewer and fewer people who despise you, otherwise they will always be a "stumbling block" to your progress.

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