# Three laws of interpersonal communication: if you want others to like you, you must first like each other

By [拖拉机](https://paragraph.com/@0xfce8e65e66cab8e8a93803ff8a849059aad8fb0a) · 2022-04-26

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1.  Xiangyue law Xiangyue Law: if you want others to like you, you must first like each other Xiangyue Law refers to the emotional harmony and mutual liking between people, which can strengthen the mutual attraction between people. More simply, it is like to cause like, that is, the mutual joy of emotion. Psychological research shows that usually the people we like are those who also like us. They are not necessarily beautiful or smart, or have social status, just because they like us, and we like them very much. A head teacher once did such an experiment, asking the whole class to write all the names of people they hate on a note and give it to him. The results showed that the people who wrote the most names on the note were also the people who were written the most by others; The person who writes the least name is also the one who is written the least by others. In other words, there are many annoying people in the class, and they are also the most annoying people of others; There are no annoying people in the class, and they are also the most popular people in the class. In interpersonal communication, there is a natural attraction, that is, people like to associate with people who like themselves. As long as you know how to respect others, recognize others and praise others, as long as you let others know that you like him, he will naturally like you. Mr. Wuqi, a famous sales expert, once said: "a salesman must understand his company's products, have confidence in the products, work hard and be enthusiastic. However, the most important thing is that he must like others." Xiangyue's law warns us that if you want others to like you, you must first learn to like others. Liking is mutual. There will be rewards only if you pay. A person who only thinks of himself is very uncomfortable to be liked by others. Don't say bad things easily, don't accuse others of their shortcomings in public, and don't hate a person easily. Three laws of interpersonal communication: if you want others to like you, you must first like each other
    
2.  Key theory Key theory: communication lies in heart to heart Sincerity is like a key, which can open the closed spiritual lock between people. People don't need too many skills and means to communicate with others. It's enough to pay sincerity. Communication between people is valued in heart to heart. The collision between hearts can produce resonance and know each other. Don't complain that others don't understand you. Open your heart for others first; Don't complain that others don't make friends with you. You should learn to communicate with others with your heart. In real life, even a cold person will be melted by you as long as you show your true feelings for him. In interpersonal communication, don't wrap yourself too tightly and hide too deeply, so you will never make true friends. No matter who sees the blue sky, you will tell us not to treat the other one too badly. Face the world with your sincerity and impress everyone around you with your true feelings. Three laws of interpersonal communication: if you want others to like you, you must first like each other
    
3.  The spiral of silence Spiral of silence: you can stand alone, but don't walk alone The spiral of silence describes such a phenomenon: when people express their ideas and views, if they see the views they agree with and are widely welcomed, they will actively participate in it, and such views will be published and spread more boldly; If you find that no one or few people pay attention to a point of view, you will remain silent even if you agree with it. Most individuals will try to avoid isolation caused by holding certain attitudes and beliefs alone. In real life, we have to deal with all kinds of people. There are familiar and strange; There are likes and dislikes. One cannot get along well with all people. We should not only integrate into everyone's team, but also maintain our uniqueness and not lose ourselves in the crowd. When we live in a positive environment, we should try to integrate into such an atmosphere, and the behavior of the people around us will greatly affect ourselves. Seeing that the people around us are working hard, we are not willing to fall behind; When we live in a negative environment, we should control our independence and not blindly accommodate the so-called "mainstream thought". The spiral of silence warns us not to blindly follow others, which will make us mediocre and lose our independence. Only when you have an opinion can you have charm, and only when you have a decision can you have courage. It's better to be an eagle than a parrot.

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*Originally published on [拖拉机](https://paragraph.com/@0xfce8e65e66cab8e8a93803ff8a849059aad8fb0a/three-laws-of-interpersonal-communication-if-you-want-others-to-like-you-you-must-first-like-each-other)*
