# August 6th, 2022

By [AD](https://paragraph.com/@ad-8) · 2022-08-08

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![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/a3e1d5af1f92acc82ef2283521898e5a5fe727c21e46d58ddc90f9b308525190.png)

Today I had a gig in a cafe. It’s one of my side hustles (?). I remember when I first got on stage singing in 6th grade, all the classmates were all surprised and praising me, which make me think I must be good at it.

So I started to yearn for more of this - singing, writing songs, playing guitar. Felt like this is the only way I can express myself - because obviously talking is too hard for me.

Time passes by now I’m singing in a cafe where most of the strangers don’t really care if I sing good, if the melody I wrote makes sense… unless it’s really good, I guess? Or maybe they think I’m too bad to care about.

The feeling of being average (or below) isn’t good, but most of the people, like I used to, think we are good because of some small achievements.

Like, when all of your friends say you are good at cooking, you might think you should be a chef, but once you really try, you would find yourself far away from a profession, unless you are a genius.

Not sure if it’s me underestimating myself because I’ve been depressed by my low self-esteem job, or it’s me overestimating myself thinking I figured out something. Life is hard.

Anyway, Hi I’m Amy and this is my first diary post, hope this can help my depression. Prompt: A ordinary girl named Amy standing in a corner of a cafe singing and playing guitar to 20 people. Some of the audiences are listening to me, some don’t.

#### Diary Info

Prompt: A ordinary girl named amy standing in a corner of a cafe singing and playing guitar to 20 people. some of the audiences are listening to me, some don’t Diary day:1 Depression level: 4 Gut health level: 2 Exercise level: 5

[https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477987981042814920477202086135675567400894939442083619806750338711553/](https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477987981042814920477202086135675567400894939442083619806750338711553/)

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*Originally published on [AD](https://paragraph.com/@ad-8/august-6th-2022)*