# Learning to embrace the storm

By [Amy Wilkinson](https://paragraph.com/@amy-wilkinson) · 2023-03-16

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Last week I was made redundant.

Creating my own chapter in the history book of tech layoffs, the project I had been working with (Radix DLT) scaled back the company by 25% - leaving many of us from one day to the next, cleared entirely of responsibility for the mission.

Now I’ve never been laid off before. But I’ve been through bouts of career change, quiet moments as a freelancer and so on. As someone with a neurodivergent brain, I’ve always considered my “job” (meaning, the energy output that returns in financial compensation) as a core pillar of my existence. Aside from the time consumption a typical full-time job requires, the ability to hone in my need for control and focus, as well as implement some form of structure to my days, I’ve always put a great deal of pressure on my job to shape who I am as an individual. My job has become my purpose.

This, of course, has many upsides (particularly for the project itself), but its far from a healthy approach to living. In 2020, I gave birth to my son. It was the year of the pandemic, and also a chaotic time of evolution for the Web3 industry, of which, I was already knee-deep involved. As a career-driven freelancer, I made the decision to take <1 month maternity leave on the basis that I made my own hours (and wildly overestimated my ability to juggle parenthood and work).

As you’d expect, I burnt out. Pretty badly.

But it wasn’t all bad. If the pandemic era offered me anything, it was the opportunity to take a step back and ask: “what the fuck are you doing?”. I did just that, and my entire perspective on work changed. I reconnected with the philosophy of work as a trade - an exchange of goods, and re-envisioned how work plays into my life. In doing this, I was almost overwhelmed with a new, healthier sense of commitment and desire for work, and a clear-as-day understanding of what work is.

Amidst this realisation, I had a brilliant awakening. As an overthinker, I used to suffer with imposter syndrome and would often find myself kidnapped with fear. I’d view my employer as superior, giving them ownership of my existence in the workplace and the ability to exploit and damage my growth. I still feel fear, but it’s healthy. Without an unhealthy view on work, my fears align with new challenges, and I have a deep understanding of my worth, which in turn, allows me to negotiate better, choose work better, and ride the waves of growth.

“Unemployed” used to sound terrifying. Now, it just holds no value or meaning at all. While being laid off and “unemployed” can feel unsettling - like that of a storm - all storms pass. This one will too.

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*Originally published on [Amy Wilkinson](https://paragraph.com/@amy-wilkinson/learning-to-embrace-the-storm)*