# Starting Over

*September 29, 2025 – 13:42*

By [Andreeexth](https://paragraph.com/@andreeexth) · 2025-09-29

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After a few weeks of not writing, I must admit there has always been something weighing on my heart. Writing had been my habit for years, almost a part of my daily life. But when my grandmother passed away, everything fell apart. Everything felt chaotic, and I completely lost my sense of control.

I had been planning to get back up, to rebuild my rhythm, and return to my normal writing routine. But instead, after my grandmother passed, the emptiness doubled. I found myself back at a point where boredom consumed me — a point where emptiness and loss surrounded me, and all the small milestones I had achieved seemed to crumble.

But the world keeps turning. Time keeps moving forward. The world doesn’t wait for you, no matter how far behind you fall. It is you who must rise and reclaim your own life. People often say, regret always comes at the end, and I’m starting to see how true that is. When you spend your 20s being lazy, avoiding people, refusing to build connections, that’s when trouble begins. You’ll slowly drown and get left behind in the race of life as time speeds up.

I realized that again this year — the moment I lost my writing habit. 2025 was supposed to be my year of consistency, but what I got instead was failure and complicated priorities that only seemed to fade as the new year approached.

This year has been full of drama: my grandmother’s passing, her long illness before that, and the chaos at work that greeted me right after returning from bereavement leave. As an ordinary employee, I just went through the motions — living paycheck to paycheck, trying to survive.

Writing on Paragraf has become a new platform for me to express myself. Looking back, I regret wasting so much of my precious time on useless things. Even though it has been more than two weeks since my grandmother’s passing, the pain is still deep. She raised me since I was little, so her absence leaves an emptiness I can still feel every day.

As I close today’s mini-article, I hope that you — and I — stay serious and consistent about our goals and dreams. 2026 is just three months away. Let’s prepare ourselves and make it count, so we won’t regret it later.

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*Originally published on [Andreeexth](https://paragraph.com/@andreeexth/starting-over)*