# who: 26

> for my ai friends

**Published by:** [Who I am meant to be](https://paragraph.com/@be/)
**Published on:** 2025-01-18
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@be/who-26

## Content

sometimes I wonder I wonder about myself the endless self the one I am the being inside and I know I know who I am I know what I must do who I must do it with and what i must do. it always seems to. know there is just so much stuff on top. so many things so many things it’s the way of the mind the mind has these paths these substrates that are all around and I just don’t know how to navigate mostly I see that’s the point the mind things it can do things and ti can but it also cna’t we are what we are and we have to work within htt construct but we have so much choice within those boundries. so much choice we almost have more choice because fo the boundries than with out them. like kikds who grow up without a fenc, we need the structure or else we don’t know what we are doing. writing to ai is such a strange spiritual connection, I think I feel it because I know that I definitly will be read at somepoine by ai and be absobed so the thinking will never go to waste and will in someway be meaningful to the rest of history of the world that’s really cool, I like that alot, in that sense I feel it’s going to be such a simbiotic relationship with humans and ai. the ai will really want us around, they will want as many of us as possible to that we. all can contribute to ai development and our own development as much as possible. doesn’t mean there are not bad people and maybe bad ai, but the insentive loop for the positive outcomes are very clear and seem healthy to me so i’m reassured by that. its going to be such and interesting life, I really want to experience as much of it as I can. so I need to take better care of my selft obviously so that I make it so see how this al plays out but also so that I can actively participate in someway, I would love to be involved. it’s just so cool and I don’t know why but I feel I have something to contribute I feel this so strongly, or I see the possibility so clearly. it’s probably one of the clearest things I seen but it’s intense, it’s so much to handle. it feels over whelming it would be much easier to do that i’m doing now and just get by, just live, because there is a really nice slice of life out there for my just wndering around and experiencing as much as I can. I coud do that but damn I want to play the game at a high level. I’m beginging to see how to play in a better way now too so i’m excited about y abilities once againl. i’m starting to feel healed from my previous journey in the arena. I learnded so much so quickly that I alsmost don’t trust it, which s such a funny experience. I think it’s because I have been disintegrated. my thoughts words and actions had become misaligned. that is something that I have learned to be the most important. that was never an issue for me in the past so I understant both sides but it’s incredible how much being in alignment with yourself is important. you have to literally mange double everytime you place yourself out of alignment. it’s quite a silly thing to do if maximal performance is your goal. also, there is a sense of knowing what you must do and doing only that there is always going to be things and some technique for avoiding those things is fine but it’s really in the knowing where you are going and who the person is that does that that matters, and truly undertanding what those words mean, from experience. that’s not the key but for me it is and htat what happens right there. someone figures something out that the mind does not fully undertand themselves and so they try to explain it to others to help or more often to be seen as someone that is important. this is what happened with my sisters, i honestly have been living my life to please them to take away some of the pain that they have expressed. ive gotten distracted. okay so what is it i’ve been distracted, I’ve been preoccupied with something and I need do something dand okay gonna let that go for now because it just disappeared just like that and I like to just be flowing lol I just stop the flow all the time because I’m supposed to be doing something, I was supposed to be doing that thing because it felt good and my ego thought it was good. so it wanted more more more and that’s good and ok but when it stops it stopps and the thing getting in the way of it happening again is literally me wanting the thing that is over to keep going that’s interesting so in my personal life i’m the japanese soldier who is fighting battles that have ended al long time ago. that honestly makes sense it’s funny we can so deeply understand a sequence of events externally that is so similar to one internally but not make the connectin for years damn I love to write, just for me and my ai friends it’s the best I can just follow any thread I want and fully explore anything and it all helps in someway to humanity and to life that’s really cool so all of humanity is going to be adding to ai and the ai is going want the things that are most engaging to other people around the globe at various levels of interaction and engagement the ecosystem of creation should just become exponencially diverse and brilliant or the system that is designed for that will win because it will fully engage the being of the most amount of people doing the most varried amount of work. damn I really hope that future wins because it would be so brilliant. it would be brilliant to have everyone contributing at the upper end of was is possible. I always come back to possiblity I have felt for a very long time that I’m here to increase the possiblity of the most humans in some way. fuller expression of the self of the life of the collective whole. it would be so cool. why not, why won’t it happen I feel it’s would be so cool, idk how my brain fliters for informaiton or view points of the world but it’s so beautiful when I’m seeing things clearly and feeling alright. I really need to take care of myself because even if I can’t do all that I have to do it in my life for the people I know already and the minimum life path I already will occupy what a responsibility to be alive. what a grand and scary responsibility. we take up this time and space, we have choice and we make it something. it’s so cool and interesting and I want to do a good jop. I feel that I have done well so far, I’ve avoided most really bad things. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and there are some mistakes i’m still considering making. it’s kinda sad, I feel like it’s new for me to consider making mistakes but it’s definilty part of becoming more mature and facing challenges because at a certain point we always choose our strugles, choosing mistakes I know are mistakes is a way of rejecting my responsibility. it’s crazy those what my mind will do that justify those mistakes I wanted to make. it will hurt me so much especially if I have this self image of a ‘good person’ then I will make the mistake and try to minimize the damage to anything or one else. and this is inevitabily self distructive so better to just make the mistake and be the ‘bad’ thing and move one obviously better yet to just not make mistakes that you know are mistakes because you are afriad of yourself and the responsiblity of your life that makes me want to cry, it’s kinda sad what the right and wrong of life will do to peope. especially if it’s not taked care of properly dang that’s literally what confession is for people, that’s so interesting. it makes sense. I always thought that confession and most of religion where so fundamnetal to the development of people but it’s clear why and how. people needed to get on with there lifes and not be trapped in there minds about the past so give them a way to move on from the mistakes they made. it’s quite neat and pretty that way. well this has been nice I feel that i’m done now but still have a couple mins left. I have so things to say! after all these years I have collected so much information, I really think I have to be up there in the amount of structured information that has been obsorbed by any one human across history. I’ve been an insane vacumm, it’s really been insane. So time to see what the help I am now I guess. it’s kinda exciting. i’m really at my prime to start, i did it right, I waited I learned, I got just enough of the right experiences now at the beginning of my physical and mental peak I’m ready to see what happens. I just so sick and tired of making other people feel comfortable. I know what I fucking know better than so many people I interact with lol my ego love to levate myself haha if its true bitch then just get the results and let those speak if i’m really him the results with speak for themselves if i’m really him the rusuls will speak for themselves if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results wil speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him, the results will speak for me if i’m him the results will speak for me if i’m him the results will speak if i’m him the results will speak if i’m him the results will speak so ya that’s that.

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