# Stones

By [Bianca Caruana](https://paragraph.com/@bianca-caruana) · 2023-08-30

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I looked at her and she looked at me  
And said, “Why do you carry these, honey bee?”  
I’d collected them, unknowingly  
Year after year  
  
They were gifts from a curse  
That spat from their mouths  
Pain disguised in pain  
Those stones became my house

Your calves, they’re so big  
Your hair, it’s too long  
Your skirt, it’s too short  
Your eyebrows, they’re too thick  
Your eyes, they’re so old  
Why does she have hair under her arms?  
Why does she wear makeup?  
Why doesn’t she wear makeup?  
Why did she paint her skin with a permanent marker?  
She should show less skin  
You should show more skin  
You’re beautiful, only if….  
You’re pretty, only when…

And these stones  
They stayed with me  
I didn’t even know that they lived with me  
Disguised as a permanent gift for me  
Until they weighed me down so heavily  
I could not stand  
Entropy  
  
No more!  
I said, breathlessly  
As I looked at her flowered in empathy  
With a fire that burned unrelentingly  
Deep within

My skin  
Speaks of stories so vast  
And the essence of those can be found in my marks  
And these choices, they’re mine and not yours  
See these parts of myself are miracles, not flaws  
I am not a child, I let my hair grow long  
And my clothes represent the words to my song

So if you’ve come here to edit, control or delete  
Or complain, or hiss, or share your critique  
If you’re not here with me to hear what I sing  
Then leave me be to spread my wings

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*Originally published on [Bianca Caruana](https://paragraph.com/@bianca-caruana/stones)*