# Breaking through the meditation

*Bodhilama still integrates. Fred now taking a break and enjoys his time during meditation. But tension is building up. Something is not right. It is not fully aligned with him. So, he wonders how he can find alignment during Vipassana.*

By [Bodhilama](https://paragraph.com/@bodhilama) · 2025-03-16

planet.108, spirituality, fiction, art, storytelling, solarpunk

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* * *

**Day 2**

* * *

_"What am I doing here?"_

_"It is the same old stuff just with a new cover."_

Fred takes a break from sitting in the hall and goes for a walk

_"Old systems, so strict, so old-fashioned. Where is the evolution?_  
_Don't be outside of the box, and they will silence you._  
_They say your mind is in the way. But who are they to say that?"_

* * *

And, with a slight gesture, shows Fred the way back to the meditation hall.

* * *

_"No, I need some more time walking."_

_"Only five minutes out, Sir! It is not allowed to go longer."_

"I can not concentrate if my body is crying for moving.  
I walk a bit more and meditate."

"One has to sit to uncover the truth of Buddha!"

"I am not Buddha and Buddha is not me."

"Sir, if you are walking so long, other people will follow you."

"So what?"

"Sir, please go back to the hall."

Fred stands still for a minute and decides not to engage.

"Okay."

* * *

The sun is going down. Fred lays in his bed. Birds are singing, the toilet flush flushes.

* * *

_"Roxy!"_

_"Hey Fred, how yah doing?"_

_"What was I thinking attending this retreat?"_

_"You were not thinking so much._  
_You needed a break from everything._  
_Since it just dropped in you inbox you felt the calling._  
_Why you asking? Don't like it anymore?"_

_"It is so strict. We are not allowed to move or to write!_  
_Everything is prohibited. I enjoy it._  
_Just sitting straight everyday and meditate._  
_I get a lot of clarity. Yet, something feels so off here."_

_"Well, what you are experiencing is the resistance of your mind._  
_Vipassana is designed to break trough your habitual patterns._  
_Your mind is craving some distraction right now."_

"Yah, I got that. I can cope with that.  
But these teachers here are so serious. They look so serious.  
Why are they not able to be happy, while they are meditating the whole day?"

_"Fred, that is a very profound question._  
_Well meditation alone doesn't make you a 'better' human being._  
There are monks who meditate for decades but still struggle with their shadows.  
There are people who never meditate, yet embody wisdom and love naturally.  
_Meditation alone is not enough."_

_"So what is needed to become my higher authentic self?"_

_"Well first, you are already it. You just have to remember._  
_To remember there is Awareness, Integration & Embodiment._  
_It is not only about sitting in silence for hours._  
_It is about reflecting on your insights & experiences._  
_And bring these new insights into action."_

_"Okay, yeah I am missing some embodiment._  
_Do you have a suggestion what I can do, to make it more fun here?"_

_"Well, that would mean you are not following the system._  
_You will not experience the depth which Vipassana is giving you._  
_They will not like it._  
_Just to make sure you know what you are doing._  
_Do you want to continue?"_

_"Yes, I am sure. Let us do it."_

_"Okay, Fred, than let us add some spice to the sauce!_  
_I would recommend a bold move."_

_"A bold move?"_

"Yes, something which is outside of the box.  
Something which reflects your realization and directly implement it into reality.  
Something which extends your comfort zone."

"Okay, let the fun begin!"

* * *

**The bell rings.**

* * *

Fred  
meditates.

* * *

These are the Letters of Bodhilama, a guy who lives in a time of transformation.  
A guy who felt the urge to write, because nothing else made any sense.  
A guy who is a student, teacher & creator of (wild)Planet108.  
A solar punk finding his way on the game's journey of life.  
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* * *

This Text was written, only with the mind & hands of one human being.  
Only for refinement [DeepL](https://www.deepl.com/translator) was consulted.  
The artworks are made by [openArt](https://openart.ai/).

* * *

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*Originally published on [Bodhilama](https://paragraph.com/@bodhilama/38)*