# A doubtful monologue turns into a teacher

*& why a framework is essential*

By [Bodhilama](https://paragraph.com/@bodhilama) · 2024-07-28

planet108, solarpunk, spirituality, art, storytelling, poetry, justbeink

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* * *

**A blanket of clouds covered the sky.**

* * *

Bodhilama only realized today what kind of commitment he had made.

_"What the heck was I thinking? Writing every day?_  
_Holy shit! Why did she tell me that?_  
_That is a huge amount of work!"_

He doubted himself & was no longer sure about his commitment.

Could he really do it?  
What if there was an inspirational vacuum?  
What if his creativity became stuck?  
What if he was not motivated?

_"Well now, I have to do it, I guess._  
_Now I'm in the public eye. If I can't keep my word, people will judge me."_

He hesitated and wrinkled his brow.

_"But actually that's just in my head. That is not true.  
It's more likely, people struggle with the same like me.  
People probably think more about themselves than about others.  
And even if they judge, what do I care about the judgement of others?  
In the end, I'm doing it all for myself. I just commit to something and try follow it through.  
I don't care about the thoughts of others. I don't care if people aren't interested in my writing!"_

* * *

So, he put out his paper and wrote word after word.

_"Maybe, my writings have to follow a specific purpose.  
I guess I need some kind of structure.  
That way people will understand me better and more likely read what I write.  
I mean, I have to stick to some rules and guidelines, I guess."_

Bodhilama frowned again.

_"Wait..., I just said, I don't care about what others think about me.  
And I want to enjoy this process. That's the whole point.  
Structuring everything just makes it complicated.  
Keep it simple."_

And then he remembered what he had written yesterday.  
He opened [Touching the first step](https://paragraph.xyz/@bodhilama/touching-the-first-step) & read it once again.

_"Yaah, I've forgotten the framework I set yesterday.  
Just no structure, no thinking, just writing.  
How could I have forgotten all that already?  
Focus, Bodhi, FOCUS!"_

He made a serious face as he tapped his left index finger on his forehead.

* * *

_"Guidelines help to_ **_stay focused_**_.  
Being kind to myself_ **_relieves pressure._**  
_By making it public, I can_ **_be accountable._**_Keeping it simple keeps the_ **_overthinking away_**_.  
Having a timer gives_ **_perfection no room to spread._**_"_

Now he tapped his temple with his index finger.

_"Yaah, I'm starting to learn."_

He shook his index finger in the air as if he had found the answer  
to the ultimate question.

_"Writing teaches me something.  
Or rather, I'm teaching myself as I write._  
_It's fascinating. I'm going to observe myself more.  
I'm doing well now. I'm feeling good.  
I'll leave it here, tomorrow is the next day."_

* * *

**The clouds were gone. The sky was blue.**

* * *

Peacefully,  
Bodhilama

* * *

These are the Letters of Bodhilama, a guy who lives in a time of transformation.  
A guy who felt the urge to write, because nothing else made any sense.  
A guy who is a student, teacher & creator of (wild)Planet108.  
A solar punk finding his way on the game's journey of life.  
Subscribe to become part of the stories he tells.  
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Subscribe for the sake of it.

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This Text was written, only with the mind & hands of one human being.  
Only for refinement [DeepL](https://www.deepl.com/translator) was consulted.  
The artworks are made by [openArt](https://openart.ai/).

![](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/emoji-datasource-apple/img/apple/64/00a9-fe0f.png) All rights reserved to Bodhilama

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*Originally published on [Bodhilama](https://paragraph.com/@bodhilama/a-doubtful-monologue-1)*