# Learn introspection in marriage By [Cat](https://paragraph.com/@cat-5) · 2022-05-06 --- In marriage, the difficult thing is how to repair your own system of love. During this period of time, watching the variety show “spring starts late”, I suddenly remembered the sentence written by Yi Shu in the world of mortals: “Unlike you, in the past, a woman walked forward and accepted what she met. One thing for one person was life, entangled and intertwined with love and hate. We now have a lot of choices for women. It’s inappropriate. Go back in time and start over. “ Because each of the real-life women in the variety shows me the power of breaking the cocoon in Yishu’s works. They have been hurt, hurt and cried in the divorce, but they still choose to start again and do not trap themselves in the bad situation of the past. What program is “late spring departure”? To put it simply, it’s a love complex, but it’s not the traditional one, because it’s not for men and women with restless hormones, but for men and women who have experienced a failed marriage and are likely to be disappointed with love. How to say, have you seen the blockbuster “the first half of my life”? “Late spring departure” is a bit like the variety version of “my first half of life”, which tells how divorced men and women break away from the plight of \[near death\] \[frustration\], and then embrace life and love again. All the guests in the program are divorced. They come from different cities, sit together, tell each other about their first half of their lives, and then bid farewell to the past and re form a team to travel and live to see if they can get a \[mutual healing between sad people\]. Obviously, there are not many real and fictional guests in the “Spring Festival” program, but there are not too many real and real ones in it. Therefore, we can truly feel their tragedy in the first half of their life and their expectation and hesitation in the second half of their life. How miserable was that failed marriage? The program group set up a very interesting link called \[yesterday’s exhibition hall\], allowing seven guests to choose an item impressed by their previous marriage and put it in the exhibition hall, and write a story related to it in one sentence. One of the female guests showed two movie tickets and wrote the sentence “two people’s movies, but a third person has seen them”. Just this sentence, in fact, everyone understands it and is sad. The reason why her marriage hit the rocks should be that she encountered \[cheating\]. Later, sure enough, in the confession Bureau after the guests arrived, she said that in her ten-year marriage, the other party kept cheating, until finally, she couldn’t bear it and finally gave up. However, because the child is too young, she still doesn’t know whether she is right or not, because she feels that her giving up also hurts the child. For the sake of children, compromise and endure an unfaithful marriage. Is this confusion and entanglement real enough to make people feel heartbroken? Another female guest displayed the previous coat, because the other party was unwilling to wait for a day and wanted to divorce her after learning that she was ill and not easy to get pregnant. However, she left his coat because she said she wanted to remember the warmth of marriage. The guests in the observation room, such as Wu Xin and Wang Feifei, as well as the guests at the scene, felt that she was too stupid and simple. They said that such a man had no temperature and why did he keep his things. Yes, that girl is not a hostess at all. She doesn’t have the natural and unrestrained posture of those women in the cool drama. But I was touched by her, because her mood was true without any affectation - no matter how unbearable, we were greedy for the warmth of marriage. Otherwise, why would we willingly enter the besieged city. Including the little sister who was cheated but still suspected that she was wrong. Maybe someone will scold her for being cowardly and unclear, but let me tell you: In a real marriage, there is really not so much freshness and simplicity, but it is normal to have really loved, really expected, really happy, tangled and repeated. I like the attitude of Professor Fu Seoul and Professor Li Songwei towards this little sister. They didn’t have any moral judgment on her, but said to forgive a person’s choice, even if it seems that the choice is cowardly. Because you haven’t experienced what she has experienced, and you haven’t owned what she has. Not only the marriage of the female guests, but also the emotional problems of the male guests. I used to think that men don’t pay much attention to emotional problems. I think most of them are just the dialogue in the novel \[hate evil\]: “if a man is unhappy, he will be fine in two days.” However, the three male guests from completely different industries in the program all said the hundred turns and thousands of turns in their marriage in one sentence, which made me realize that in fact, the emotional world of men is also complex. Rock, a familiar talk show actor, said he divorced because he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, but his ex-wife always had to arrange a grand ceremony on his birthday. Seemingly small things, but in fact, they contain a realm that people most pursue in their feelings - I want you to understand me. Another male guest, a lawyer, chose a postcard that he had intended to send to his wife but never sent out. About this item, he wrote this sentence: later, many things came at the end, such as sending you postcards, such as feelings for you. This sentence is one of the most touching words in the program, because it tells a lot of the truth about the collapse of marriage very clearly - it may not be about betrayal, it may not be about struggle, but over time, we gradually lose the ability to love someone. In fact, I appreciate this male guest, because as Fu Seoul and Wu Kequn said, he is very sincere and frank, knows how to reflect, and still has love or guilt in his heart. Because more people are afraid to admit that they have lost the ability and patience of love, but will throw the pot to each other. I’m reading a novel “empty nest marriage” recently. The men and women in the novel also haven’t experienced any betrayal, but it’s almost desperate to read their marriage carefully. From fierce quarrel to loneliness and silence, they finally exchanged the depression and illness of the female owner for peace, and the male owner admitted the truth: She has so much resentment --- *Originally published on [Cat](https://paragraph.com/@cat-5/learn-introspection-in-marriage)*