# I and Soldier Man

By [Daily news,stories and memes](https://paragraph.com/@cgefilms) · 2025-10-13

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Scene: Noble as phone repair. no customer since morning 😩📱

Me: Omo, today dry like Pharaoh heart. No single customer don even ask “how much for charging port” 😭

(Soldier waka enter with full swag 🪖)

Soldier: Young man! You be the phone doctor abi?

Me: Yessir! Na me dey perform phone miracle pass Jesus of Alaba 😂 Whatin happen to your device, sir?

Soldier: My phone just off during call with my madam. Since then e no gree on.

Me: 😳 Ah sir, e fit be spiritual issue. You sure say na phone off, abi your madam off you spiritually? 😂

Soldier: 😂 You dey mad abi? Just fix am before I use this my boot tap your destiny.

Me: 😅 No vex sir, make I check. \[Opens phone\]

Soldier: Hope you no go spoil am o. That phone na evidence for family meeting.

Me: Sir, your battery don die pass Nigeria economy 😭. You go need new one.

Soldier: How much?

Me: Na small 6,500 only.

Soldier: 😳 Small what?! Na so una dey rob soldier for broad daylight?

Me: No sir 😭😭 this one na original, no be the kind wey shout “low battery” 5 minutes after full charge.

Soldier: You sure?

Me: Yes sir! If e fail, I go repair am free next time.

Soldier: Hmm… okay. But if e fail, next time I no go bring phone — I go bring belt. 😤

Me: 😅 Sir abeg no belt, just bring charger make we pray for am.

(Later after fixing phone)

Me: Sir, phone don rise again like Lazarus 🙌😂

Soldier: Omo you sabi work! You fit fix government light next?

Me: 😂😂 No sir, that one pass my certificate. Even angels no dey fix NEPA wahala.

Soldier: You funny sha. Take this small change — buy malt before you faint from hunger.

Me: Ah, bless you sir! God go upgrade your rank spiritually 🙏😅

💖🔥 Good sales everyone 👍🥰

#the soldier man 👨

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*Originally published on [Daily news,stories and memes](https://paragraph.com/@cgefilms/i-and-soldier-man)*