# Free Fall poem 06 [free falling as eons & eons had passed...]

> 'tell me, what's the story, my dearest heart?' your Brain whispers.

**Published by:** [clionachee](https://paragraph.com/@chee/)
**Published on:** 2024-07-17
**Categories:** poem, free fall, creative writing, free verse, self-care promise, journey
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@chee/free-fall

## Content

'tell me, what's the story, my dearest heart?' your Brain whispers.'oh, look, we're now out of the narrative!' the rabbit said. 'I have a question for you since I saw you. Why are you pretending to be a rabbit as a dragon all along?' the old Soul seems puzzled. /// a moment of silence in the space beyond the void ///06 [free falling as eons & eons had passed...]you woke up on the big wet rock lost in the middle of a river with the water flowing by your side. you tried shaking an ant off a handkerchief in your pocket... you waved your hand and made circles in the air vigorously and the ant grasped so tightly to the handkerchief. you put it by your side with a tip touching a leaf and the ant slowly crawled towards the leaf. you had these thoughts that were like ants. anyone would be around when the podium is rising. but everyone around you at that time left when they found out that all you love to do was just free falling or they just had to leave regardless of whether you free fall or not. who's here when all that you could do was free falling? nobody could answer yet. Free falling from the Castle of the Sky. Free falling into the dark bottomless pit. Free falling deep under the ocean of Bermuda Triangle. And falling, and falling, and falling. Until eons and eons had passed. Still falling, and falling, and falling. one day, you thought that you saw ❤ the calling of life ❤ , so you took out the magical heart to power the castle and cook anything like Howl. - The heart became Calcifer - YES, CALCIFER! It could burn anything, light up anything around. It became something nobody could ever control. But, it also became something Howl could never recognise anymore. you looked at how Howl received praises, accepted requests of help, and collected all the shiny things in life from all directions. It seemed so strong and powerful that Calcifer made Howl the toughest wizard of all. you watched and agreed to Howl that the heart was a heavy organ to carry along, unless... just unless there's an 'unless'. That was in Howl's story. So, how about yours, you asked yourself again? Oh, you became one of the real-life Howls. It probably would be the 'Thing' that does not matter the most. As you're striving for a contribution in the field because you believe in something else... something the inspiring voices once said. something to keep the balance between ourselves and everything else. something about making contribution to the world all before a certain time, or date, or whatever that are all the illusions we created. you knew very well that they didn't mean it those ways on the surface level. but, you couldn't risk yourself as the category who 'didn't make it'. or, that's what you thought before being showered with glass shards and washed up on a rock. there are only decades left to live, but there are centuries left to stay alive. before eons and eons would pass again, you ask yourself truly this time, why would the heavy heart even contradict to all that you've ever wanted for the balance among nature, tech, and the beings? You had no answers to that. Do you? You believed in facts so much that you searched it up for real Statistics really showed you that The contributions of those after a certain age would decline. You didn't care about research gaps, flawed methods or not-enough-data, You just told yourself something, 'oh no...' 'Only 6 years left, or what?' so many things were there to tell you that it's okay to fall behind sometimes or falling behind is just a mental distortion. yet... you're just a human being alive in the space full of illusions bringing up both pros and cons with things that you enjoy and the things that hurt you at the same time. They counted days. you counted Hertz, lightyears and beyond. They enjoyed superficial & stressful date nights. you loved creating & reading all alone in the middle of the nights. They asked you 'what if you wouldn't make it at all' and you just shrugged as if you already did it all the time. there's no right and/or wrong... just a matter of CHOICE? just a matter of SUITABILITY? Some who counted days were the ones who built the trains. Some who enjoyed dating were the ones who hugged children. Some who doubted the others needed hugs and healing. you hoped they accept the differences and love you as you are when you love them as they are. you hoped. You didn't understand why, Your plan B, C, D, E, F, G, etc were never to diverge from the goals yet they went nearer to the things that were so risky, so controversial, so insane. if we pulled out anyone from the street and ask them what they think of the things you love, you knew damn well that they were saying something that meant your probability was near-to-zero, so you continued knowing & seeing the ones who'd see all sides like you with you instead of one side. there, you laid on unfamiliar big rock out of all the boxes unintentionally 'fitting out'. what else could anybody say to such a poor soul who was trying to be something while the soul was nothing at all? you had this mental distortion thinking that you're trying to be something, but you're nothing at all. nothing at all... NOTHING at all... your tears dropped on the rock. the tears mixed with the water on the rock. the heart is cleansed to let you feel calm again. it became a little song in your mind, so you sang it out loud ♬ 'you tryna be something~ but you're nothing at all~~ NOTHING AT A~A~ALLL~~~' 'haha!' you burst into laughter because the song was so silly! Other poems here. Free falling from the Castle of the Sky. Free falling into the dark bottomless pit. Free falling deep under the ocean of Bermuda Triangle.with love, ૮ℓเσɳα Chee Pui Khei 徐𣳽琪, creating acceptedbynature.com (previously toplove.tech), g️️athering resources at mentalhealthengineering.com public squad️️❤

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