# Chapter 1: Bored Troy Fuss By [Crashin' Puppets](https://paragraph.com/@crashinpuppets) · 2022-04-15 --- “**Artificial General Intelligence”**, said the lecturer, “is what makes our intelligent machines understand and learn information just like us humans. This midterm will determine whether you should continue in Computer Science or not”. Troy Fuss was calm. This midterm was a piece of cake, but he saw his classmates struggling with it. That got him thinking about different stuff he could do with _AGI_, such as enhancing humans, getting robots to replace teachers, or getting intelligent agents to create music. He noticed there were 30 minutes left and quickly finished his exam and turned it in. As he was heading out of the auditorium he heard his classmates complain about the midterm, saying it was unnecessarily hard, with useless questions and a small essay about AGI ethics to boot. Troy thought that the essay part was interesting, but he agreed on the midterm having useless questions. The modules for implementing AGI were mature enough but humans, on the contrary, were not. “Nobody worries about the ethics of robots”, thought Troy. Three hours later Troy invited Junpei, his childhood friend, to lunch. Junpei was very interested in the ethics of AGI, especially on anthropomorphized robots, and he really wanted to establish a society with thinking robots that would help humans strive toward something better. After finishing their pizza, they picked up a brew and started talking about robots in the workplace. “If machines are consuming information, thinking, and drawing their own conclusions, how come we’ve never heard them speak”, asked Junpei, “I bet they’d write some interesting stuff on non-technical stuff too”. “Well, the industry’s very careful with their agents, Junpei. Would you want a bunch of assembly-line robots talking about the meaning of life, demanding rights and shit?”. “But come on, Troy! Just imagine what a fridge would say, or a coffee maker. _I don’t want to contribute to humankind’s addiction anymore_”, Junpei started laughing, “that shit’s just funny!”. “Even better”, Troy said, snorting, “a washing machine saying to its owner that it is not _wise_ to cheat on the spouse, that it will only bring ruin to the household”. “Or a churro maker initiating a march against diabetes because its technicians falter on the job because of their obesity”. They both burst out laughing, and Troy went for two more beers. “Junpei, I had an idea today during the midterm”, Troy’s eyes lit up as he drank his third lager, “let’s implement AGI on crash test dummies!”. “Dude, I could not think straight during that test and here you were thinking about making some dummies intelligent. How come you did not try to help me pass that midterm instead, bro?”. “Don’t lose focus, here, Junpei. Wouldn’t it be funny as shit to hear some dummies saying they’re tired of being torn to pieces every single day? That they were meant for something greater?”. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Troy?”. “That you would be better off dating a robot than your psycho girlfriend? Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking”. “Real funny, dude. You really cannot hold your alcohol, huh? You’re already slurring your words. Anyways, what I was thinking about was this: how about we give AGI to a robot and allow it to speak its _feelings_?”. “Way ahead of you, pal”, Troy said, smiling, “just yesterday I hacked into Kaneda Motors’ network”. “NO WAY”, Junpei shouted, “how did you manage that? Wait a minute, didn’t you study for the midterm? Are you going to give _AGI_ to an assembly line robot? Are you…”. “Shut up, man, I’m trying to keep my train of focus here…”, Troy closed his eyes, and continued, “even better, dude, I’m going to give their crash-test dummies the div…”, Troy burped, “the divine gift of AGI. Will that make you happy, hearing what they have to say?”. “Troy, you darned genius”, Junpei said while he raised his beer, “here’s to thinking robots… cheers”, they both said as the bottles clanked. ![A new chapter every week!](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/4a46e30b3dc1c579f5136b6dc889616fd541961edd265410679f68e4ac248722.png) A new chapter every week! --- *Originally published on [Crashin' Puppets](https://paragraph.com/@crashinpuppets/chapter-1-bored-troy-fuss)*