# Intension

**Published by:** [Existential Liturgies](https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/)
**Published on:** 2024-08-31
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/intension

## Content

I did not ask to be here Did not call a counsel of the Gods Requesting placement on this planet I did not beg to be born Hoping Zeus would hear my plea I did not submit an eighty year plan “What I’ll do with my time on earth” Ripped into life Bound by gravity My first sound a quivering, agonized protest Forced to breathe oxygen and eat food grown in dirt Cultivating longevity And at some point Though I did not ask for it The choice became mine To stay or to go? Forced to come here Allowed to leave Given a gift I cannot refuse Told I do not have to keep it “To be or not to be That is the inquiry” Or something Living is no longer that which must happen to me Shall I engage it? Here there are snuggles and coffee and chocolate Love and joy and peace and laughter Genocide Corruption Loneliness Murder An endless and inescapable dissatisfaction Why stay? Because I want it to be me When my children need a shoulder to cry on When my partner celebrates a victory Mourns a loss I want it to be with me When dawn erupts from night and stars synchronize across lightyears When wind tickles trees and waves wrestle with beaches When friends offer hugs and handshakes When children die too young and wicked men live too long I want to witness to Lead to Follow Participate This is where I want to be — I would have considered the end of this poem extremely dissatisfying not so long ago. Part of me still sort of does. It leaves me with an itch I must scratch. Somehow ‘wanting to be here’ wouldn’t have been a good enough reason to be alive. “Give me resolution!” I think that’s why I leaned so hard into the evangelical flavor of Christianity for a while—there seems to be an inevitable and incessant pull toward satisfying answers in my experience of that community. But I’ve come to think—or have been shown? Who actually knows how this thing works?—that, like the cliffhanger ending of a movie demanding a sequel, the tension of existing is the thing that makes existing worthwhile.

## Publication Information

- [Existential Liturgies](https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/): Publication homepage
- [All Posts](https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/): More posts from this publication
- [RSS Feed](https://api.paragraph.com/blogs/rss/@existentialliturgies): Subscribe to updates
- [Twitter](https://twitter.com/igolle): Follow on Twitter

## Optional

- [Collect as NFT](https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/intension): Support the author by collecting this post
- [View Collectors](https://paragraph.com/@existentialliturgies/intension/collectors): See who has collected this post