# Wedding

**Published by:** [Filip](https://paragraph.com/@filip/)
**Published on:** 2021-10-18
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@filip/wedding

## Content

For the first time since COVID we’ve had a chance to go to a wedding. It was a great day, but what I want to think about is not the wedding it self, but how often men who haven’t married yet hesitate to marry. I’ve read some time ago this great post from Paul Graham on having kids. He compares having kids to “joining a cult” - once you join, it is great, but for the outsiders it still looks as a weird cult. And this can be extended to marriage as well. Unless you would marry the wrong person (do your due diligence first), being married is great. It cannot be compared to having kids in how it turns your world upside down, because the marriage itself basically changes nothing. But the fact that you promise with the other person that you’ll go through the life together brings something special between you two. And for the not-yet-married ones this often feels intimidating. Saying it aloud in front of friends and family (and a public official) might feel uncomfortable, but holding the other person’s hand and saying it together is what living together in a relationship is about - getting out f your comfort zone together. And if you feel that getting out of your comfort zone at the wedding day is hard, wait for having kids. Comfort zone will often be thing of the past. Lastly, for those who are hesitant as they think that this is not the right person, sit down and reflect on the time together. If it is making you a better person, and you’re having great time, marry her. And if you come to the conclusion that you two shall not be together, talk to her. You might realize that you’re looking at it from the wrong angle. Or that indeed you two shall not be together and it will be better for both of you to part ways. But the chances are that you’d already know that this is the person you want to be with. And in that case don’t wait. You don’t have that much time to enjoy the life as you’d think you’d have. And postponing this celebration of love, life, family and of your relationship is the worst thing you can do. Cheers and congratulations!

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