# Solve small situations in marriage By [Henry4](https://paragraph.com/@henry4) · 2022-05-12 --- Many women are unhappy in marriage all their life. If they lose, they lose because they don’t understand the thinking differences between men and women. Someone asked me: Mr. Lu, why do men become worse and worse for their children after they have two hearts? Many women are unhappy in marriage all their life. If they lose, they lose because they don’t understand the thinking differences between men and women. If you always treat men as women, of course you will run into a wall. Why do men treat their children worse and worse after having two hearts? There are two reasons: 1. Intentional 2. The “old slick” man knows that children are the lifeblood of women. If he is not good to children, women will collapse even more. 3. It turned out that women were threatening to say. Now that men are indifferent to their children, women are not so confident. If you hold the lifeblood of a woman, you can control it. 4. There are also “brain crazy” men who used to be good to their children, not from the heart, but think that being a father should pay for their children. 5. But in the middle-aged crisis, he went crazy and denied everything in the past. 6. I feel that I have lost my life. In the past, I must be a good person, but now I must be a bad person. I just want to be an irresponsible self-centered person. This is the real “flying self”. 7. Unintentionally 8. Once a lot of men fall in love, they are fascinated. Their time is spent with that woman. Their wives and children are secondary. 9. In addition, when he comes home, he has to face his wife’s noise. He is annoyed. He simply goes home less and has fewer opportunities to meet his children. 10. What should the wife do? 11. Get out of the trap of scum men -- understand the differences between men’s and women’s thinking, so as to solve the marriage 12. Many women tend to use female thinking to understand men. They will think like this: it’s just that you’re bad to me. Now even your children are like this. Do you have too much bottom line? 13. Many women live with children as the center, but remember, men always live with themselves as the center. 14. It’s all instinct. If you want men to surpass their instincts, you should use their instincts. 15. Most of the time, the reason why a man is more and more indifferent to his children is that if he wants to be with his children, he must pass the pass of his mother. 16. So at this time, you need to let the child be alone with him, which reduces the cost of being with the child. 17. In addition, many men are indifferent to their children, mainly for fear that they will feel guilty and not firm when they see their children. More afraid of you talking about things with children. 18. If you really love children, you need to let men down their guard, simplify the problem, and don’t let children become your weapons. 19. Specifically, how to do it? 20. Three sentences defuse men’s defense 21. You have three words to say: 22. First sentence: 23. There are many unsolved problems between us, but I don’t want to affect my children. So please rest assured that I will not use the child as an excuse to let you go home. 24. If you want to go home, I can go out temporarily, so that you don’t want to quarrel with me and don’t want to go home to see your children; You can also go out and play together, so you don’t have to see me. 25. If you say so, men can’t think you’re using your children as chips to save your marriage. 26. Second sentence: 27. I know you’re busy now. You have to deal with two women and your work. You’re full. 28. But I think you still have to squeeze a little out of your time for your children. You can not pursue quantity, but at least pursue quality. The real victims of our conflict are children. 29. Put forward reasonable requirements and give him relief from certain responsibilities. So he can accept it better. 30. Third sentence: 31. I hope there is still a channel between us, that is, the tacit understanding of being parents. Can we keep this bottom line and try our best to retain the ability of being parents in a crisis. 32. If you have any difficulties, you can tell me. I’m willing to cooperate. 33. But if you hurt your children and ignore their interests, I can tell you responsibly that you will pay for it. 34. Finally, take out a big stick and let him correct his attitude. Don’t try to play flower work. 35. --- *Originally published on [Henry4](https://paragraph.com/@henry4/solve-small-situations-in-marriage)*