# thoughts

**Published by:** [Hydra](https://paragraph.com/@hydra-2/)
**Published on:** 2022-08-14
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@hydra-2/thoughts

## Content

IT LITERALLY makes no sense… what are we, who are we???? Like seriously, what the fuck is this so called “life”? The only biological need for us being here, is too simply make more of us, and become stronger and stronger…. until an inevitable extinction event. It sounds like someone created an AI to see how we progress and evolve. But then again, AI to us, is intelligence based on how we learn. So if we were AI, we would be similar to our creators. Anyway… I’m feeling like I have no purpose, not that I want one, nor care about it. It’s just that, we’re all gonna die, and nothing will ever last forever. I wish there was a way to live outside time, live outside the universe. I feel as if the universe is created, not by God, but by aliens with powerful AI tech. The higher beings who created us probably live outside time and space. Time and space are simply laws of our simulation. Although, if our creators didn’t have that, I don’t know how they would of thought of that. I’m starting to lose any morals I have and I’m beginning to see how I shouldn’t care about anything. BUT THE ANNOYING part is…. that doesn’t change by internal reactions that are simply out of my control at this point. Like my brain is constantly saying, “you’re gonna die, nothing matters, everybody is not real”…. yet my body is physically dying from stress and anxiety, FOR NO FUCKING REASON! So why should I care? Well idk tbh. It just irritates me that I truly believe something, yet my body has a mind of its own. I have no control over my body and reactions. E.g. I dgaf about what anyone thinks, yet I’ll still get embarrassed over tiny things. I guess I do know the answer… Although I say to myself “idgaf” in neutral situations, whenever emotion is applied, it’s impossible to think that way, and you revert back to all the natural behavioral programming. I guess it’s not enough to ‘believe’, but you have to train your mind and body to bring your beliefs into fruition. All life is, is EMOTION… that’s it. That’s literally fucking it! We’re a fucking vessel that is programmed via emotion and pain. E.g. >>fire > hurts > body learns to not touch > stay alive. Not to mention, everything we have ever felt and will feel, is just some hormones. Most of our lives aren’t even spent conscious, like when is the last time you stood still and thought about your own conscious and if you’re actually alive. Every night I think about this, and every night, I get a disturbing yet calming feeling. It’s almost impossible to put into words (as it’s not part of our programming), but here it goes: It feels like a sudden internal realization that you’re here and you’re not sure how you got here. It feels like you’ve become aware of how ridiculous this “life” is, and how it all makes no sense. Feelings like this make me believe everything I was taught by my parents, teachers, and the law is just for society, and everyone is brainwashed into thinking the law is equal to what’s right. I no longer believe in rights and wrongs… everything simply, is. TLDR: what the fuck is this, morals are a lie, everything is based on hormones

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