# Advanced Goodbyes

By [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2) · 2025-02-25

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A friend of mine recently lost his father.

It wasn’t a sudden thing and they had a last few days together.

As the friend recounted the story to me, he told me that, once he realized that death was imminent, he had the chance to tell his father that he was loved and appreciated. The son was grateful for all the father did.

The father died an hour later.

A beautiful moment, to be sure, but it left me wondering:

Why wait until the last hours?

It seems like you’re doing a disservice to the very people you care about by only giving them those few hours of knowing how you feel.

So, I called both my parents and told them the story. Then I told them “I’d like to avoid any last minute heroics or regrets on either of our sides” and then I told them how much I loved and appreciated them.

Death gets us all.

May as well acknowledge that now and avoid any potential pain later.

> “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.”
> 
> \-Lao Tzu

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*Originally published on [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/advanced-goodbyes)*