# Desperation Casts

**Published by:** [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/)
**Published on:** 2025-09-15
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/desperation-casts

## Content

I feel a need come on. Unmet, it becomes a focus. Over time, still unmet, it becomes an obsession, a desperation. Eventually, it seems like it is all-consuming. It’s not I can still function, but it feels like it takes up a disproportionate amount of mental energy. Not only that, but it leads me to discount all the things I do have. It’s the reverse of gratitude. And the feeling? It’s like a plaster cast around my torso, constricting me, leading me down a path of bitterness, resentment, frustration, navel-gazing, self-centeredness and ego. I imagine a saw cutting that cast, freeing me, and the doctor saying, “you don’t need this anymore. You can move freely without it.” While it might be there, I don’t feel the freedom. Don’t believe it’s there and certainly am not comfortable with it yet. It’s like I’m scared of what it means to not have that support.

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