# Hugging Loss

By [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2) · 2025-05-26

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Historically, when I felt a pang somewhere in my body about a loss of some sort, my reaction was “Toughen up. Deal.”

There are times, particularly in the midst of a crisis moment, where that skill is incredibly valuable.

Most times, however, it’s just a way to bury emotion, shunt it away, and never deal with it. Never allow for the pain of the moment to be experienced.

I used to think that this was what I was “supposed” to do, particularly as a man in our contemporary society.

Now, however, when I feel the sadness come in about something that I once had and now no longer have, I seek to welcome it with open arms, embrace it fully, like a guest coming into my house whose presence I welcome.

This change in perspective allows for a new type of experience to unfold, one in which I can feel the pain, but also feel the joy of having had the “thing” for a period of time at all.

That was the blessing in the first place.

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*Originally published on [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/hugging-loss)*