# My Controllers

**Published by:** [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/)
**Published on:** 2025-10-13
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/my-controllers

## Content

Just the thought of interacting with certain people leads to a tensing of my shoulders. I can feel the heart rate increase. The hormones are activated. It’s like I’m putting on emotional armor. My muscles are tense. I’m far from relaxed. Maybe it’s what we call stress. The sad thing is that the “encounter” hasn’t happened. It may never. And even if it does, because I’m all armored up, it’s more likely to result in hardness instead of softness. Does it have to be that way? Aren’t I allowing others to live “rent-free” in my head? Allowing them to, essentially, “control” me? To determine my actions for me. My agency gone. I have a choice. May not be aware of it and certainly may not be making it, but I have one. It’s time that

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