# Purpose Struggle

By [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2) · 2025-11-26

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Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end.

I was doing myself a disservice.

I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core.

But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read.

So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal.

Within 2 hours of that decision, 2 different people offered me unsolicited praise for the posts and their authenticity.

Now, I felt the struggle.

For whom am I writing?

And why?

The ego says, "you have a value you provide to others. You should serve them."

The self says, "you'll never get really deep if you always know that _someone_ else might read it."

I'm struggling.

Maybe that's the point?

Learn to sit with both and do both?

Or maybe it's not binary. Maybe there's a way to square this circle...

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*Originally published on [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/purpose-struggle)*