# Rigidity Reflux

By [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2) · 2025-05-29

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One of my greatest strengths- discipline of execution--is also one of my greatest weaknesses.

When I have a plan, I almost always stick to it, with an intense ferocity inspired by the efficiency of the Swiss Rail system.

But…on those days when, for some reason, the schedule is seriously impacted, well, then, I suffer from a kind of “rigidity reflux.”

It’s almost like there’s a mischievous, rebellious kid inside me who said “hey, the teacher’s not looking…you can do whatever you want.”

Then, the discipline that I pride myself on, around eating or sleeping or sticking to a schedule kind of goes out the window.

There’s one voice that says “hey man, relax, enjoy. Ignore that disciplinarian.”

Then there’s another that says “dude, you’re going to regret this later.”

It’s like there arguing inside my stomach somewhere (or some other internal organ).

The Tao Te Ching talks of “wu-wei,” as in “effortless action.” Which is basically the polar opposite of “rigidity reflux.”

It also talks of understanding beauty because of the existence of ugly. One cannot exist without the other.

So, I suppose having a type of “rigidity reflux” may be the best way to keep me on the path of wu-wei.

I don’t think I’m along in having these internal dialogues.

It seems that a part of the human condition, as I was reading in the book [‘Rigor of Angels”](https://amzn.to/4kCS6cq) is straddling the line between effervescent and eternal. Between extremes. Between life and death.

Maybe that’s what [Johnny Cash was talking about?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQFicmUfKi4)

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*Originally published on [jer979](https://paragraph.com/@jer979-2/rigidity-reflux)*