i don't know what i will write about.

that is the first thing that is important to say. to acknowledge. to take out of the middle. i don't know what to write about, but somehow... this place feels so familiar.

this music feels so familiar.

i have been coming to this same place, with this same music, for such a long time.

i wish you know how often, dear reader.

i wish i could phrase these words in a way that made you know that.

because that is the craving that i have from the bottom of my heart. for the world to care enough about what i've been doing all of this time.

at the core of my experience as a human being, there is a fundamental craving:

i need to be acknowledge. i need to be seen.

part of the unconscious biases that have made me who i am in this moment make me need that acceptance.

so i seek it everywhere.

and there is this intense need for it to be satisfied with what you can bring to me, by acknowledging.

and i become fixed. static. motionless.

i run away from the perspective of writing these words.

because i don't know how to write them for them to capture all of what i have learned.

there is a strong expectation inside me that tells me: i will not be able to do it.

i will fail.

it will all be a failure.

how can i help someone if i'm a failure? what can i bring to their life? what can i teach them?

i was assigned the mission to write a piece of writing for /success, which is my favorite community on farcaster, which is my favorite community.

so this is a piece of writing for my favorite community squared... and i don't know what to write about?

i feel this strong and intense need for this to be different than what it is?

i feel this inmense need for this to be the exploration that wants to come as a consequence of what is alive in the expression of what is behind the inquiry that is left as a consequence of what is behind your awareness?

and there is beauty in that.

there is wonder in that.

there is aliveness in that.

and there is wonder.

there is joy.

there is something that is unique to this moment. there is something that comes as a consequence of what is alive in this moment.

and all of it is here.

all of it is alive.

all of it is wonder.

and as the words come out, i realize that the important thing is not what i write.

it is not what i believe success is for me.

it is about what it means to every person.

and how much of that they end up making up as true.

as what is their unique and biased perception of the human experience.

your uniqueness is a gift, and that is what i have been telling people all around.

that is the joy that i have been bringing to the life of people without even wanting to do it.

without even wanting to accept it.

to embrace it.

i do it, over and over, because i care about it.

because i want it to happen.

because i want to experience it.

i want to experience it all.

and there is wonder behind that.

there is beauty behind that.

and there is a consequence that is left on the background of my ideas.

on the background of how i relate to the process of those ideas becoming a reality.

as they are written on paper.

as they are manifested as something that is more real than this.

as something that is more alive than this.

as something that is expressed as this.

as these words.

it is expressed through these words.

it is alive through these words.

it is the consequence of what is alive on these words.

it is the beauty that is alive on these words.

that come as a consequence of these words.

and what does success mean?

what is the aliveness that that success brings?

what is the invitation that it brings?

the more i see it.

the more alive i become through it.

the more real it becomes.

the more alive it gets.

i am here, alive, through the wonder that is.

i am here, breathing, through the beauty of what is.

and i'm here to highlight other people.

i'm here to invite other people in.

i'm here to transform into a reality my world, so that you can experience it through yours.

through your uniqueness.

through your perspective.

through the wonder that comes as a consequence of what is here.

of what is now.

and there could be something that is not as wonderful as that.

that is not as beautiful.

and there is no problem with that.

there is no problem with it not making sense.

there is no problem with it being hidden behind the maze of ideas.

there is no problem with it being trapped behind the maze of ideas.

the important thing is to make it happen.

the only important thing is to make it happen. to make it real. to transform it into something that is.

and it is through the process of doing the thing that you transform it into something that is.

because that is how you become "it".

by melting the creator, into the act of creation, and what is being created.

it all melts into one.

into a happening.

into the experience that is being had.

into the experience that is now.

and the more you do it.

the more you dissolve into it.

the important part is not what comes as a consequence of what i say.

or what i can write.

or what i can bring.

or what comes as a consequence of what is brought on the underlying expression of what is behind the words that i say.

that's not as important as doing it.

that's not as important as showing up.

that's my philosophy.

and that is what i bring into the world.

that is the core of the expression of what i bring into the world.

that is the core of the aliveness of what i bring into the world.

the core of the beauty.

the core of the wonder.

the core of the joy.

the core of the inquiry.

it is all an inquiry.

it is all the expression of the inquiry.

it is all the aliveness that is real on the background of the inquiry.

and am i hiding somewhere?

is this hiding?

is this escaping from the process of editing something that is fundamentally wrong?

am i doing something wrong?

am i escaping this so that i can be less of myself?

am i transforming this moment into something that is alive?

that is real?

that is only the exploration that wants to come?

that is only the expression that wants to come?

this music is familiar.

i have seen myself, over and over, watching the words flowing through the screen.

these same words.

so similar...

so different.

how many times have i been doing this.

how many times have i been writing these words.

hoping for there to be something listening.

something understanding.

no one will ever understand.

the memory of that girl crying after the roger waters concert on amsterdam.

the whole arena was being cleared, people were walking away in awe because of what they had just experienced.

and there she was, crying. standing up and crying.

i saw her suffering.

i saw her in pain.

and walked towards her.

looked her in the eyes.

"no one understands" she said to me

"no one will ever understand", i said to her,

and gave her a hug with the intention to fill the void that i knew she was feeling inside.

knowing that it was not my mission to fill that void.

knowing that nothing that i could ever do could be the vehicle for that void to be filled.

and she knew it also.

and she rested in the awareness of that hug.

knowing that no one would ever understand.

but somehow feeling peace about it.

somehow, feeling it completely.

feeling her pain.

and allowing it to be there.

allowing it to sit as a reality that was part of that moment.

that made up that moment.

allowing that reality to be the vehicle for that moment to be expressed.

for that moment to be invited in.

and that is something that stuck with me forever.

as if somehow life had the mission to carve into your subconscious moments that will never leave you.

that will always come back, in some for or another, to teach you what they had to teach you.

no one will ever understand.

those were the words that came out of me before hugging her.

and those are the words that come to me today, as i pose myself the challenge of writing about success.

what does success mean to me?

how can i phrase in words everything that i've done since i decided to be fundamentally honest and sincere on the quest of knowing who i am?

how can i tell you, dear reader, how much i care about that inquiry?

how truthful i am on that?

perhaps it is not about telling you.

perhaps it is not about using any specific word.

perhaps my sole existence is just the expression of it.

and the more i try to explain it, or convey it in a way that you can understand,

the more trapped i become into the maze of ideas.

where there is no way out.

more than just untying the endless thread of words.

of breaths.

of explorations.

of invitations.

i guess that, at the end of the day, that is what this piece of writing is about.

it is just an invitation.

it is just an exploration.

it is just an inquiry.

an inquiry into what is alive.

an inquiry into what is real.

an inquiry into the maze.

the maze of myself.

this is my perspective.

and i'm 100% that it is the truth.

i'm just honest on it being an inquiry towards it,

but knowing that there is work to be done.

and that the work comes up as the expression of what is alive.

day in and day out.

burning the fire that is alive.

burning the fire that lights from within.

it is all an invitation for you to do the same.

to show up.

to experience what is alive.

to feel it all.

to welcome it all in.

no one will ever understand.

and that is the beauty of it.

that is what we are here for.

to explore what wants to come.

as if it actually didn't matter who is watching.

because life is always watching anyways.

through you.

as you.