# dear jo

By [Leviosaa](https://paragraph.com/@leviosaa) · 2024-06-04

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Dear Jo,

With all the bad experiences with men in general, I think you let them off too easy. I think that fear of ending up alone, that fear of not truly getting seen or loved gets to you. I think you need to actually believe internally that you’re the best woman anyone can get. While it is ideal to want to feel whole and enough and strong on your own, accepting that you aren’t there is okay too, with yourself, with others even a guy you’re attracted to. If he doesn’t like you with all of that comeswith you, he anyway isn’t the right person. It is like how Rieke said, her stomach scar post surgery makes her feel insecure but it is a great eliminator of who isn’t for her, maybe your emotional scars aren’t all that bad, maybe there isn’t any need to carry any shame or embarrassment about them, they’re just a great eliminator, the physical scar gets visible easily though, you just have to undress your body, but the emotional ones want to hide, and you’re so good at hiding them, but there is no need, you are who you are, you took some decisions that caused you suffering, but you cant keep punishing yourself for them everyday. If you feel anxious around a man you find attractive, its fine, and its human, it has got nothing to do with him, current you, or what’s going on between you two, these are just triggers for you and they d pass as they come and the more you can accept them as part of you, the less power they have, the more whole you are. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are whole and you are enough, nothing makes you any less, no one in the world has the power to make you feel any less about yourself unless you give it to them. You also have to remember all these triggers come from instances and shaming and gaslighting when you were denied your very basic needs, the guilt needs to leave you now, for tolerating it too. You aren’t the same person, you aren’t as vulnerable, you ve come so so far, there, is nothing wrong with you, and you have no point to prove. You don’t have to be witty, funny, charming, positive all the time to please someone. You have to accept where you are and if someone doesn’t find it cute, that’s fine too. You need to know the difference between piling on, projecting your shit and taking help and support. It is completely alright to need support and yet be strong, infact support makes you stronger.

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*Originally published on [Leviosaa](https://paragraph.com/@leviosaa/dear-jo)*