# Why am I talking?

By [Mickey Mellen](https://paragraph.com/@mickey-mellen) · 2024-05-21

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[**Why am I talking?**](https://www.mickmel.com/why-am-i-talking/)

One of the best things I’ve done over the past few years (though it’s still a work in progress) is to be more quiet during meetings. If I want to open my mouth, I always try to have the thought of “why am I talking?” before I start.

A while back, Pete and Jen talked about this in [an episode of their podcast with this statement as the acronym W.A.I.T.](https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/243-wait) (“Why Am I Talking?”). It was a great episode and I encourage you to give it a listen.

More recently, this came to mind while reading Charles Duhigg’s book “[Supercommunicators](https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection-ebook/dp/B0C5VBDC65/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mickmel07-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=43218cdd80592a6e5d49c9e01289a53a&camp=1789&creative=9325)“, where he said:

> _“The most effective communicators pause before they speak and ask themselves: Why am I opening my mouth? Unless we know what kind of discussion we’re hoping for—and what type of discussion our companions want—we’re at a disadvantage.”_

Being careful with your words is an excellent thing, but it also gives space for others to share their thoughts instead. The trap that I can fall into, though, is to be too focused on whether I should speak up or not and then I’m not as focused as I should be on the person who is currently speaking.

It’s a fine line, and it’s one that I’m continuing to dance upon, but hopefully I’ll continue to get a little better every day.

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*Originally published on [Mickey Mellen](https://paragraph.com/@mickey-mellen/why-am-i-talking)*