# Ode to Fuckface

By [Ode to Fuckface](https://paragraph.com/@ode-to-fuckface) · 2023-06-05

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I literally couldn’t keep my eyes off you from the moment I saw you. You were sitting there, mewing at the strange circumstances that you found yourself in, when I first realized that you were my dude.

You had rough beginnings. Within a week of adopting you (at a premium since you were so god damn fucking cute) you broke your hip. While I was at work, you had jumped off the counter-top and broken your hip. The next 2 months were an impossible task. I was instructed to keep my 5 month old kitten in a tiny cage so that he couldn’t run around playing injuring himself further. I couldn’t help myself.

I had to build you a little more space with duct tape and cardboard boxes extending your incredibly limited living space. I wasn’t allowed to bring you out and cuddle. As bad as it was for me. I have no doubt it was worse for you.

When you recovered I have a memory that I’ll treasure to the day that I die. I had an absolutely dogshit day at work. The details are entirely irrelevant. When I got home, you immediately started mewing and dashed for the legs of my brand new expensive-ass suit. I watched as you proceeded to ruin $1000 worth of a designer suit (look at me trying to be all cool and shit) by clawing your way up my pant legs into my arms as my heart completed melted.

Over the next 10 years you were always with me. Through happy times and sad. Through multiple countries. I always had the fuckface with me.

I know what it is to lose a human you love absolutely at a young age. The pain and ramifications on your psyche are indescribable to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. I’m not going to pretend (even now having drunk myself to maximum dumbass and crying my balls off) that losing you is the same as that.

But god damn I really love you Fuckface. It’s so hard to arrive at the realization that your time has come. It’s so hard to be the finger on the trigger. The metaphorical trigger that ends your suffering and any chance that we could have more time together.

I’m too much of a coward to do what needs to be done today. I need to reassure myself that there’s no chance for you to have any kind of quality of life before making that heart-breaking decision. Maybe 2 weeks. If you recover I’ll more than happily eat shit for being premature with this.

I love you so much fuckface. More than the majority of humanity if I’m being honest. And I’ll miss you every time that I think of my torn suit and a thousand other memories of how retarded you are.

I write this with LITERALLY 0 proof-reading, spell checking, or anything else. Direct from my intoxicated heart to the Ethereuml blockchain. Immortalized forever. My dude. My friend. I’ll miss you so much.

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*Originally published on [Ode to Fuckface](https://paragraph.com/@ode-to-fuckface/ode-to-fuckface)*