# BluePrint. **Published by:** [Osman Gülveren](https://paragraph.com/@osmanburak/) **Published on:** 2023-09-25 **URL:** https://paragraph.com/@osmanburak/blueprint ## Content BluePrint. #6 by Osman GülverenI feel as if I'm trapped among the heavy weight of my dreams. People who have come and gone in my life, the rehearsals I've practiced in front of the mirror, fleeting moments of excitement, glances filled with affection, and restless periods that have passed by... perhaps ellipses aren't enough to convey the experiences I've skimmed over; perhaps they merely offer a glimpse or leave the ending open, I'm not sure. Sometimes I pause; at other times, I rush forward like an untamed horse, but each time, I find myself defeated. My emotions, feelings, and values intertwine and tangle within me like the Gordian knot. I believe I am condemned to a life I both fear intensely and pursue desperately, day by day.BluePrint. #14 by Osman GülverenI move through houses, neighborhoods, and cities, surpassing the patient ones and journeying to new countries, rediscovering myself at every step. This exploration expands my goals, modifies them, and renders them unattainable. I struggle to reconcile with what I discover. It's as if I'm akin to an aging father nearing retirement who evaluates new possibilities but cannot let go of old habits. I am gradually becoming more conservative towards the independent and unattainable. Can all this effort and laziness lead to any reward? I ponder it continuously, but I keep contemplating it. My test is different from everyone else's. Nobody around me has problems like mine. It is not about staying as everyone else dreams and changing slightly. Everyone has an A, a B, and even a Z plan. But am I like that? I have only one plan, and that's to experience more defeats, to see worse. To speak of victory toward the ocean at a feast of the defeated. Fancy. Aesthetic. Nonsensical. Romantic. No, my words don't embody any of these. They are precisely what they are. They do not carry any secondary meaning, any profound significance, aside from a constant weariness and the initial explanations that come to mind. They lack any wordplay, any literary qualities. They are plain, simple, unattractive, and superficial. They represent a genuine feast of the defeated.BluePrint. #41 by Osman GülverenEveryone is anxious about becoming someone. Someone! Everyone is striving to become a valuable somebody. If you were to say, "Take out pen and paper, list valuable things," those who can't list them, whoever they may be, they're the ones. Valuable something, what a ridiculous description. Seriously, how did this desire to be someone originate? Where did it first emerge, and whose idea was it? Whose desire was it? Only those who accept being belittled desire this. Those who admit to being ignored, not being respected, and not being valued seek it. Masses who live dependent on others... But what if this is the right path? What if I'm the wrong one? What will happen then? If I'm given a different test compared to everyone else, will I leave behind a life wasted on futile pursuits? No! Even if it's wrong, my life will surely offer lessons to those who can see. Nothing is worthless in this life! Even the worst, the feeble things are valuable, and humanity must accept that. Devils and angels, Abel and Cain, they're all valuable. They're all necessary. Just as we need water, we also need fire; just as we need heaven, we also need hell. I'm not striving to be an individual; I'm not striving to become valuable. I’m already a valuable individual! Just like all living beings. You don't need to strive. Redirect your efforts elsewhere. Relax, raise your head, gaze at the sky, and breathe. Nothing is in vain under this sky. Be yourself, don't wear yourself out, take care of yourself. Never disrupt the balance! Leave a mark with every step you take on this earth. Appear ordinary, commonplace, like everyone else, but know that you're not and don't get carried away. Live as someone who knows how to live and die as someone who knows how to let others live. June 20, 2022 Link to Foundation Drop: 44 pieces of 1/1 0.025 eth https://foundation.app/collection/blueprintbyosman ## Publication Information - [Osman Gülveren](https://paragraph.com/@osmanburak/): Publication homepage - [All Posts](https://paragraph.com/@osmanburak/): More posts from this publication - [RSS Feed](https://api.paragraph.com/blogs/rss/@osmanburak): Subscribe to updates - [Twitter](https://twitter.com/osmangulveren): Follow on Twitter