# Fear is holding me back? 

By [pitaya](https://paragraph.com/@pitaya) · 2022-12-13

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![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/13659cc5f8fd586b6057959e2cfb37af51077418297af252e8f75719d4be665d.png)

Realisation: Fear is holding me back? "My friends always think I'm crazy, but I'm not. If they don't have so much fear, then they're like me now!" "-- Johnny Depp \[Illustration\] When you pick up this book, you must be thinking that your fears are hindering your life, or that you simply wish you could reduce them. You've made the decision to change your sex, and that step alone is a big change. Now, you need to ask yourself what's holding you back. What are the issues that are holding you back from living your life? Don't worry. Think it over. These problems or problems often have distinct personal characteristics. No one in the world will have exactly the same problems as you, and the problems you care about have a lot to do with your past experience and how you treat it. For example, when you are a child, if you are often alone with your fears, there is a danger that you develop an inner apathy towards them and a sense of being overwhelmed by the fears that are overwhelming you at the time. At this point, we don't want to blame your parents for leaving you to face your fears alone, but the important thing is to recognize that your attitude toward fear was already formed at some point and can be changed again. How did your parents treat you when you felt fear? Do you feel lonely? Did you feel overwhelmed by what you were facing? Under what circumstances do you want to be your own "guardian" so that you are not ruled by fear? Children often rely on their protective parents because they are not able to protect themselves. When children face their fears alone, they not only develop a negative attitude toward the fear, but also build a "protective wall" between themselves and the fear. The goal of both treatments is to ensure that the child is never again forced to face fear and feel helpless. Unfortunately, both of these coping styles persist even into adulthood, when we can protect ourselves. As an adult, do you sometimes feel ruled by fear? Do you want someone to take care of you and make you feel safe?

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*Originally published on [pitaya](https://paragraph.com/@pitaya/fear-is-holding-me-back)*