# haircut By [planet](https://paragraph.com/@planet) ยท 2022-10-08 --- ![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/8b9aff44b6a58885823fa825a5d33c096fbcd478c07fa06cf330b0588839a5f0.png) For more than twenty years, I have never been in a barbershop. "Who will cut your hair then?" they asked. "My wife, Maran, takes a third of the package," I replied. "Has Malan studied haircuts?" they asked. "No. She made the first cut on my head," I replied. "Have you studied outside after the first cut?" they asked. "My head is her only school," I replied. "You said she took one-third of the package, so who's the other two-thirds?" they asked. "Myself." I replied. "You yourself? How do you cut it yourself?" they asked. "I feel my hair with my left hand and scissors with my right hand. When I touch it, it grows." I replied. The past twenty years have been precisely the years when I couldn't refuse all kinds of hospitality and had to frequently appear on TV. That is to say, the head cut by myself or Malan will face millions and millions of viewers in close-up almost every day! The question that confuses me is, why hasn't a viewer ever made any comments on my hairstyle and hairstyle? The answer was not found, but it made me pick up the scissors with more confidence. Such neglect of haircuts is not because I pretend to be unrestrained, but I have encountered a series of helpless situations. "Break the Hair and Sacrifice" ![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/ab2233af94f92ab02264f29c9f313dfeaef626a3c12b4cc1ebc7465159eab6b0.png) That night, I found the ordinary small scissors I carried with me in the small hotel where I was staying, and decided to cut my hair myself, because I have to be on camera tomorrow morning. Along the way, Malan was not around, so he could only do it himself. I hold the small scissors in my right hand and slide it through my hair, and as soon as I grab something in my left hand, it clicks. Immediately, he put a small lock of hair cut off on the manuscript paper at hand, just like a small cloud of dark clouds appeared in the bright white sky. Soon, the second and third dark clouds came again. Looking sideways, I think this metaphor is too big. In fact, the hair cut from this lock of hair is more like the residual ink painted by a brush. Yes, residual ink is more accurate than dark clouds. I am a calligraphy writer. I didn't carry a brush and inkstone along the way, but the "residual ink" was loaded on the top of my head. Thinking like this, I decided to sprinkle these "residual ink" on this terrifying and desolate desert, so I got up and turned off the light in the room, pulled the thick black window cloth, and opened the window. Here, any window with lights may attract shooting at any time. In the process of turning off the lights and opening the windows, I suddenly thought that in ancient China, "breaking one's hair and offering sacrifices" was a grand ceremony. At this moment, outside the window, there are still earthen and trenches. I use this to sacrifice the fall of the great ancient civilization and the rebellion of the thousand-year-old soul. I believe that before me, there will be no other Chinese who "broken their hair and sacrificed" in this land. Malan is also unprofessional, and jokes a lot when she cuts her hair. Once she made a mistake and cut my sideburns too much, revealing a white scalp, which was very eye-catching. The worst thing is that I have to give a speech in the afternoon, what should I do? I first thought of painting it with ink. Malan said with a smile, what should I do if I sweat and the ink and sweat flow down together, leaving a few jet-black patterns on my face? Therefore, she thought of black shoe polish for leather shoes, put it on, and it will not flow down with sweat. The black shoe polish has not been used for a long time. I forgot where I put it. It was hard to find it, and it has dried up a bit. I tried to apply it, it was too thick and dark, and it was even more ugly, so I washed it off with laughter. --- *Originally published on [planet](https://paragraph.com/@planet/haircut)*