# Alpha Mate

**Published by:** [Ram](https://paragraph.com/@ram008/)
**Published on:** 2023-02-16
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@ram008/alpha-mate

## Content

I normally do not like people with name at the very beginning of the alphabet, say “A” - “E”. Full disclosure, my name begins with an “R”, the 18th alphabet. Somehow or the other, I begin liking them very much, but this does not continue for any decent length of time. There were school, college friends, colleagues by this name. Every single time, it starts out great, develops into a thick bond, one of trust, only to decline and go below where it began. Is there something about names of people that makes them connect or not? Perhaps.. in India, things happen in schools based on “attendance order” so those with a name starting with “A” go first, and those like me, whose names begin with an “R” go in the later half of the line, however, given the vast distribution of names spanning the letters M-S, this maybe closer to the middle. Without digressing too much, you can see how this can lead to some inherent division or segmentation. Those who go first, get first dibs at choices where quantities are limited. Those who go first, blaze the trail, get to make the first impression. Those who go first, face the teachers when their brains are fresh and unbiased. But it is not all glory, those who go first also face the most risks. They do not have the luxury of learning from the experience of others, in a sense, can’t learn from mistakes or rebound in that same iteration. They are more likely to be better behaved as they face the music first, walk into the unknown. They are likelier to be more conservative as they are setting the tone and don’t want to go left field straight away. Most of these may just be generalizations, but I have a good deal of data with hundreds of people.On the other side of the equation, I have the best bonds with people that have names beginning with the letter “R” or “S”, and it does not matter which or whether it is a guy or gal. I am much more likely to be friendlier or have a lasting friendship with someone within these alphabets. Again, it may boil down to the bonds we forge in the middle of the lines, where as kids go one after the other, we have had enough time to discuss strategies, to observe the mistakes that others before us have made, and to be able to react. Those in the middle, say those names beginning with a “G” or “K” may have the time to observe, but not enough time to respond. In this, we are likely to observe with the Gs but not be able to team with them to respond. Whereas with the Rs or the Ss, there is much more scope to do more. Again, this whole equation might have been completely different had I grown up in the US, where last names determine the order more often. There is far greater randomization, more electives and groups to shuffle amongst. But I grew up a desi, went to college in the heart of Tamilnadu, deep South India. So, things were far more deterministic. This stuff sticks with you, it has been over 2 decades since I left India to live in the US, and yet, I am more likely to find a friend with these letters, “R” or “S” and beyond. May just be self fulfilling. My wife, my best friend, kids, all occur late in the alphabet.

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