# Facing the past

By [sinsin](https://paragraph.com/@sinsinn) · 2024-08-15

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Stages stand on the waterside, and in the misty rain, stars intersect, singing the heroic strategies and historical torrents of thousands of years.

This is the waterside in the stage, this is Shaoxing, the hometown of negative feudalism and decline described by Lu Xun. When the New Culture Movement emerged, these community operas were labeled as Confucianism and were attacked. But little did we know that without the foundation of these singing styles, how could scholars like Lu Xun and Cai Yuanpei be cultivated?

Shaoxing is no longer Shaoxing without the stage. Although there are some Confucian dregs, they are the foundation of this ancient city. Life must be like this. We cannot predict the fierceness and extension, but when we look back at the end of the road, we find that if we delete any moment we have experienced, we cannot become who we are today.

Ba Jin's life was ups and downs. In the era full of accusations and hatred after the Cultural Revolution, he buried his head in writing "Random Thoughts", which seemed to be a confession, confessing his obedience during the Cultural Revolution and his failure to adhere to the truth. He never avoided that period of time, nor did he want to delete it. It was because of that period of time that he remembered his integrity and his original intention of "writing is to tell the truth".

He is the conscience of the 20th century, which comes from his sincere repentance and his facing the past, "not letting the sea drown".

Thomas Brown once wrote about his understanding of life: "You cannot extend the length of life, but you can grasp its width; you cannot predict the extension of life, but you can enrich its connotation; you cannot grasp the quantity of life, but you can improve its quality." Perhaps we cannot predict the progress of life, but it is undeniable that it is the various experiences in the past, or hardships, or regrets, that have polished us into what we are today.

Perhaps no one can believe that Churchill, who was passionate in words but always smiled at people, suffered from severe depression. He called her "black dog" and regarded it as despair that devoured life. But he still "thanked the black dog, it made me know my life." He never escaped, but always remembered the years when he dared not look at the sea and dared not approach the train, overcame the black dog once and became a better self.

Life is a journey, with flowers and thorns along the way. Everyone has an unforgettable glimpse, and a lifelong regret that cannot be let go. But life cannot be rewound. Instead of indulging in the world of the past and trying to delete the past all day, it is better to face the past, walk with your head held high, and move forward with your chest held high.

Looking back at the end of the road, you will find that the most beautiful scenery is often the past that is denied, and is often life itself.

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*Originally published on [sinsin](https://paragraph.com/@sinsinn/facing-the-past)*