# Let’s Talk About Misandry

> Moving Beyond the PC Minefield and Saving Men’s Mental Health.

**Published by:** [The London Sex Coach Online](https://paragraph.com/@thelondonsexcoach/)
**Published on:** 2026-05-29
**Categories:** modernmasculinity, inclusivity, therapy, menstherapy, mentalhealth, misandry, valentine-chase, thelondonsexcoach, mattvalentinechase
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@thelondonsexcoach/lets-talk-about-misandry

## Content

You’d be forgiven for not knowing what misandry is. I didn’t know myself until a few weeks ago. Before I tell you what it is (if you don’t already know), let me tell you why I went hunting for a term to describe something I’d noticed in my practice. Over the past few months and maybe a couple of years, I have noticed a sharp increase in men, mainly my male therapy clients, becoming more confused about who they are. More importantly, they were less and less confident in expressing themselves. One guy – I will be vague to protect his identity – spent quite some time trying to describe how he felt but was unable to do so. Stay with me, I’m going to drop a bomb... As he chatted to me on Skype, he was starting to become increasingly distressed in trying to identify his feelings around sex, relationships, marriage, children... but he just couldn’t do it. So I said to him: ‘You’re feeling de-masculated.’ This was met with silence, then: ‘Holy fuck, that’s what it is!’ he cried. Laughed. Boy, did he feel better. You might not think this is a bomb at all – but it is. It is if you buy into the political correctness that is, in my humble view, permeating and infecting our very existence. You see – de-masculated (or emasculated, but I use ‘de’ deliberately) is now a politically incorrect term to use. It ‘reinforces gender norms’, you see. So, many therapists or sex coaches et al. don’t use it and, more poignantly, daren’t use it. So I use it. Redefining the "Norm" I’ll tell you why I use it – masculinity is different for everyone. As a cis male, you might think me ‘privileged’ or a ‘gender norm’, but if we met – you might not think so. I am, shall we say, ‘in touch with my feminine side’ – or camp, if you prefer. But I identify very much as a masculine male. Now let’s talk about the ‘traditional’ masculine male – hairy, deep voice, the provider, often heterosexual, opens doors for ladies... oh, you can’t do that – it’s a gender norm. Well, here’s the thing – men come in all different shapes, sizes, and voices. My male client who was so desperate to hear someone, anyone, identify what was really going on for him is indeed cis (with a gender identity that is the same as his biological sex) male, heterosexual, likes to provide for his female partner, and so on. What the fuck is wrong with that? Nothing, I say. The "PC Brigade" vs. Mental Health A few weeks ago, I saw an advert on social media for an organization called ‘MAN THERAPY’. It was a close-up of a hairy chest, with the tagline ‘Bring your hairy chests and anxiety’ – promoting a mental health group for men. The PC brigade jumped on that with comments like: ‘Oh ewwww’ and ‘Oh for fuck’s sake’, and the one comment that fueled my need to search for a term opposite to misogyny was: ‘Oh here we go, pushing gender norms again’. The opposite of misogyny is misandry. I searched for this because I really wanted to know the name for men feeling judged, stigmatized, silenced, ignored, beaten, bruised, and discarded. Let me tell you something really simple – men can be men – however that may present for them. In the attempt (and now political minefield) to be inclusive – all we’ve done is turn the tables and become a misandrist society where women rule and men do what they are told. I am deliberately being dramatic – I want to show you how I see the future world if we don’t understand the difference between equality and inverted prejudice. To invert misogyny to misandry – what have we gained? True Inclusivity I have a theory – well, it’s a belief actually: so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including with your words – be who you feel you are. The advert I saw on social media was tailored for a specific group of cis het men who had no one to talk to. It spoke to them. That’s the point, dumbass. If that tailor-made ad resulted in even one man reading it, seeking help for his mental health – job done. Maybe even a life saved. I’m gay, most of the time. Many of my friends are straight cis het men. I love them. They are built like brick shit houses (big and beefy if you don’t know the British slang) and they would match anyone in a fight, should it come to that. They are kind, compassionate, open the door for their girlfriends, believe in paying for dinner if out with a lady, and represent the ‘gender norms’ that are so much in danger of being annihilated. Inclusivity means – accepting people for who they are. This includes non-binary, trans men, trans women, cis women... the list goes on – be who you are but please don’t judge others for, er, being who they are. If you feel ‘feminine’ and want to express that in whatever way you choose – do it. If you feel limited by what you might see as ‘gender norms’ then break the mold and do your own thing. So, here’s the thing: if we are letting each other be who we are – do me a favor – leave ‘masculine-gendernorm-butch-built-like-brick-shit-houses-door-opening-gents’ alone – you’re fucking with their heads. © Copyright 2025/26 Matt Valentine-Chase. Written by a human: me. The author is a practicing therapist focusing on identity, mental health, and true inclusivity in a modern world. More info: www.iammattvc.com.

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