# 🐍 Snake Charming 101: Not For Apples

**Published by:** [Timmy The Time Traveller](https://paragraph.com/@timmy-the-time-traveller/)
**Published on:** 2025-05-07
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@timmy-the-time-traveller/snake-charming-101-not-for-apples

## Content

It started like any other semi-sane day in the souks of Fez. The air was alive with the scent of spices, the jingle of silver bangles, and the occasional goat wearing sunglasses (don't ask). Timmy the Time Traveller and Pukey the Apple Guy were soaking in the vibes, dodging flying rugs and one very aggressive henna artist. That’s when they stumbled upon Zahir the Zesty, Morocco’s most dramatic and theatrical snake charmer. “Come, come! Witness the slithery wonders of the wild!” Zahir shouted, flourishing a kazoo that had been heavily modified to resemble a flute. Before Timmy could blink, Pukey the Apple Guy—always craving attention and deeply unaware of the natural order of predator and prey—volunteered himself as a guest performer. He somersaulted into the centre of the snake charmer’s rug, flashing his wormy grin to the crowd. “Pukey, no!” Timmy yelled. “You’re not cobra-compatible!” But it was too late. With a dramatic toot from Zahir’s fake flute, the basket opened… and out slithered Layla, a cobra with more curves and eyeliner than anyone in a Beyoncé music video. She took one look at Pukey—and it was over. Love at first hiss. The crowd gasped. Layla uncoiled slowly, swaying dreamily toward Pukey. Her tongue flickered flirtatiously. She wrapped herself around him like a warm, scaly hug from destiny. Pukey, who was both terrified and flattered, blushed a very shiny red. “I-I think she likes me, Timmy…” “She’s a snake, Pukey! An actual snake! With venom and unresolved issues!” But Layla wasn’t letting go. She hissed sweet nothings in Parseltongue and presented Pukey with a gift—a tiny golden mouse she stole from a street vendor. The ultimate romantic gesture in cobra culture. Suddenly, the crowd parted as a talking lizard from Rabat entered the scene, wearing a fez and holding a tiny book titled "Instant Snake Weddings for Dummies." “I am Mahmoud the Marriage Monitor,” he announced. “I now pronounce you apple and serpent. You may—" “STOP THE LIZARD!” Timmy yelled, diving across the rug like a time-traveling goalie. He grabbed Pukey by the stalk and yanked him out of Layla’s grip just before she could plant a wet scaly smooch. “Sorry, Miss Layla,” Timmy huffed, “but interspecies fruit-reptile marriages are illegal in seventeen timelines!” Layla shrieked in heartbreak and attempted to file for emotional damages in Snake Court, but the court was closed for Ramadan. Mahmoud shrugged and moonwalked away. Back at their riad, Pukey stared out the window at the moon. “She was beautiful, Timmy... in a cold-blooded, fork-tongued sort of way.” Timmy patted him gently. “Next time, maybe flirt with a grape or something. Something that doesn’t want to swallow you whole.” And with that, the apple and the adventurer turned in for the night—Pukey swearing off serpents forever (or until his next bad decision).Like Timmy’s tales? Subscribe for more time-travel turbulence, cursed candles, and poultry-led adventures. Or better yet—why not mint this chaos as your NFT? Immortalize Pukey’s panic and Timmy’s temporal nonsense on the Polygon network—eco-friendly, interdimensional-drama-approved and 87% goat-free. 🐐 Official Timmy Links

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