# RATTLED

> Image: Skeletons in the style of David Hockney c/o Stable Diffusion :)

**Published by:** [The Late Bloomin’ Author](https://paragraph.com/@tlba/)
**Published on:** 2023-03-31
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@tlba/rattled

## Content

You know the arrival of the faux outraged. They go all in on ridiculous rampage. Hark, I can hear them; the tyrannical, the spineless, swanning around All deaf to their blindness. Just a meme’s all it was, but in 4-3-2-1 Cue the pearl clutchers, and professional pond scum, Converging with other internet bums. Relentless. Like zombies they come. It’s problematic is what it is; and, To the extent that problematic has become problematic, and likely transphobic as well.You are vehemently vexatious Poison on a platter; A choice ‘tween spending time with You, or Applying mascara to an eyelash pit viper? I’d choose the latter. Imagine. Six bitter bitches in a basement. The Karen Collective. I’ll admit, it does need some rebranding, If only for those good souls named Karen who aren’t actually Karens. How about The K-Collective? Or the acronym TKC for short. Sounds liked a suitably edgy and progressive banner under which to sell an assortment of home-made vaginal scented candles. Oh wait…I have just been informed by the internet that this has already been done.But were they named cundtles? Follow me for more marketing ideas you’re glad were missed. Do you meet weekly to discuss memes that You perceive have harmed you? One of You charged with stopping to pick up the fancy coffee to go with the avocado toast I suspect. Doesn’t anyone just drink coffee anymore? I do. But I just found out that coffee is racist; until then I just thought it was getting bloody expensive. I am partial to some avocado toast though, and if that makes me a Karenous class traitor, then so be it. Now, while I’ll admit that there’s no accounting for taste as my late Aunt Pat used to say, all the energy spent on arguing over some pop stars’ outfits is enough to power a small Duchy. How about some balance? The Sam Smith Sunday Roast collection, whilst not my particular cup of tea, was later, in my humblest of opinions, offset by an outfit that was not unholy, and comparatively flattering.A white blouse with a pearl studded collar, complimented with a just below the knee black skirt with pleated bottom; a pop of color was provided by a cross-body red heart-shaped bag which I thought broke up an otherwise binary color palette. Hashtag be kind. I haven’t heard his latest, but I did buy his first album and I know I’m not the only one; and besides, if you don’t like my take I don’t bloody care. Why? Because I’m not here to make friends. That’s why. What’s in Your closet then? Is that the faint rattle of skeletons I hear? It’s hard to tell though innit. The sound is drowned out by the sheer amount of Virtue Signaling points shot from Your canon. Loud as a thousand Pachinko machines, Grating as nails on a chalkboard; Thought terminating clichés on every corner, But then, It’s not like that bloke Orwell didn’t warn us. Which reminds me, What brilliant mind conjured up the job position of sensitivity reader? Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that was a new way of saying censor. What is it with this bollocks that has one word always being replaced by at least two? I’ll just assume they like to hear themselves talk. Are these losers married to bill collectors? How do these cundtles sleep at night? As for those dunning others for money they don’t have You wouldn’t even have a job if people could pay their bills. Do better. Enough with these soft sadist positions; or, if you prefer, SSPs. I heard bitches love acronyms.

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