# Refuse others, the simpler the better

**Published by:** [world](https://paragraph.com/@world-3/)
**Published on:** 2022-04-28
**URL:** https://paragraph.com/@world-3/refuse-others-the-simpler-the-better

## Content

Have you ever had such an experience: friends ask you for help and promise, which is not within your ability; If you don't promise, you won't lose face. So, half pushed, things were done, and I was tired enough; Things didn't go well and got into trouble. In fact, I don't like the opposite sex, and I don't like it in my heart; Refuse, afraid of hurting each other's heart. So, do not nod, do not refuse, and finally worry about themselves, but also delay others. Have you ever had such an experience: if you don't like playing mahjong, you encounter three shortages and one. If you hate nightlife, you receive an invitation from the bar at 10 o'clock at night. If you want to have a good rest, you meet a friend for dinner on the weekend... Refuse, for fear of ruining your friend's interest; If you don't refuse, you harass your plan again. You will find more and more that people who are not good at rejecting others seem to live more tired! Niuniu is a recognized temperament woman. She is especially enthusiastic about anyone else. She helps her roommates with meals, helps her classmates with roll calls, and goes shopping with her friends. She tries her best to help whatever she thinks she can help. A few months before graduating from college, she suddenly came to me to borrow money. I was a little surprised. She has good conditions and is basically not short of money. Why should she borrow money. She explained to me that one of her friends, c jun, borrowed 10000 yuan from her, but she didn't have so much. She wanted to find some better friends and lend the money to C Jun. I asked: why do you promise others when you have no money? Niuniu said, I also want to refuse, but I can't find any reason, and she is so poor that I can't bear to refuse. I also know Mr. C. The relationship with Niuniu is only average. Moreover, Mr. C is a person with no principles. Especially in the matter of money, he basically "pays back big money and small money, but doesn't pay back small money". It is estimated that borrowing 10000 yuan is not difficult. I just want to buy a newly launched Apple mobile phone. Niuniu later raised money to lend to C Jun. Only after working for several years and chatting with Niuniu inadvertently mentioned Mr. C did I know that Mr. C has only paid back 3000 yuan so far. Helping others is kind, but helping others at will may also be connivance. In this society, some people are used to "asking for help": if they cheat in the exam, ask the invigilator to let them go, if there is a mistake in their work, ask their colleagues not to tell the boss, if they are caught cheating, ask their lover to forgive themselves, if they lose the bet, ask their relatives and friends to help... In fact, they can seriously prepare for the exam, not cheat, work hard and make no mistakes, treat their lover wholeheartedly, work hard and get rich with both hands However, they are used to asking others for forgiveness after making mistakes. Forgiveness is a common feeling; But many times of unprincipled forgiveness is actually helping the tyrant. Just like Niuniu, she clearly only needs to help those who should be helped. Why should she go beyond her ability to sprinkle love on others? No one's life can be smooth sailing. Everyone is born to overcome all kinds of difficulties. When he is injured and falls, he only knows that the children who wait for their parents to pick them up will never grow up. When they encounter difficulties, the people who first think of asking their friends to help solve them will never mature. You think you are kind-hearted to help. In fact, the signal he received is: it doesn't matter to make mistakes, son. If something goes wrong, someone else will carry it for you. A few years ago, my friend a Jun fell in love with a boy and confessed to him. A Jun, who was not rejected, was happy to tell me that her confession was successful. For the next two or three months, Mr. A's happiest thing every day was to write love letters and call him, and show me how excellent he was and how many interesting stories there were between them. However, the boy never replied to a Jun's love letter and never took the initiative to call a Jun. a Jun made an appointment with him countless times before he occasionally accompanied a Jun to dinner and movies. I asked a Jun: is this your boyfriend? A Jun said: as long as he doesn't dislike me. She is so in love and happy. It was not until half a year later that a Jun got a clear answer. In fact, she had never been loved. After half a year's monologue, you can imagine that the psychological shadow area of a Jun hearing this sentence should be much larger than that he was directly rejected at the beginning. Is it really that hard to refuse a person? You are afraid that rejection will hurt people, but have you ever thought that your ambiguity and ambiguity can lead others into the abyss. Even if love is vigorous at the beginning, you can easily quit as long as you refuse; However, if you let me get used to your life and suddenly say you have never loved, should I think you didn't have the heart at the beginning, or should I think you are too ruthless now? Whether it's love or life, rejecting others really doesn't have to be so complicated. Everyone has his own preferences and difficulties, and no one can be good at every field. If someone shows love to you, refuse if you don't like it. Don't just smile and don't talk; If someone asks you for help and can't help, say it clearly. Don't promise others but miss the big deal. You just need to say: sorry, I may not be able to help you; Sorry, you're fine, but I don't like you. If she refuses the courtship of others, she will naturally find a more suitable person to love; If she refuses others' help, she will naturally find a more suitable person for help. Therefore, you don't have to worry that your refusal will make others lose the courage to love and the ability to move forward; On the contrary, if you dare not refuse, you are tangled with yourself and delay others.

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