“Rise and Shine, Gabbros! Your crypto eidolon, Mineva here! It's time to pump up those wallets with your daily dose of Moonshot, the only place where you can get accurate news on the crypto markets!”
The perky voice erupts from the speakers, causing Lux to awake from his slumber. He rolls out of bed ready to start the day. He stumbles toward the bathroom, moving in tune to Mineva's opening theme that fills the house. Each beat of the Wall Street-style tune fills Lux with the energy to start his morning routine.
A quick 15-minute cold shower, follow by a nice shave and his out of the bathroom. Today isn’t the day to waste too much time. Lux makes his way to his kitchen, trying not to trip over the empty boxes that fill his loft. He ponders for a bit, trying to think what would be a quick but solid breakfast to make.
Lux slices three everything bagels and sets them to toast. He quickly soft scrambles six eggs and roughly chops up some maple bacon to cook. When everything is done, Lux sprinkles some Himalayan salt on the eggs, gives a healthy smear of cream cheese on each bagel and builds three solid breakfast sandwiches.
He sets them aside and starts to get dressed. Lux opens the drawer beside his bed. The drawer is filled with boxes from Gekko Chic, a clothing subscription box. Lux picks up a box and empties the contents onto his bed. A dress shirt, a gray turtleneck sweater, and a pair of khakis come out.
Lux approves of what he sees and tosses the box to join the rest. As he gets ready, Lux focuses back on Moonshot to hear more of what Minerva has to say.
“In case you guys missed it, Xelith has reached an all-time high of $115! Seems like a Holiday miracle! I'll be showing some of the best reactions to the news I found on Trenches. Don't forget to follow me @Mineva.XEL. Sigh. We're in for better days gabbros! Do you guys think we can reach $200 before the end of 2024?”
Lux nods his head in agreement. An all-time high of $200 is definitely possible with the amount of traction Xelith is getting. That price would make things a lot easier for him. A good nest egg to offset the expensive purchase he has coming up in January. That and more money for groceries is always a win.
After he finishes getting dressed, Lux takes some of the clay pomade and starts styling his black hair. He goes to the mirror to take a last look at himself. He smiles at the results.
"Look like money."
After whipping his hands clean, Lux grabs the plate of sandwiches and heads for the door. He realizes he forgot his phone and quickly doubles back to his bed to grab it. Lux curses himself after almost dropping the sandwiches as he exits his loft.
In a spacious room, lounging on a maroon couch, Raff is decked out in the latest drop from Side-Meta, a street fashion brand. He plays with his twist as he checks his latest listing on Astral, the largest marketplace for NFTs.
The NFT features a beautiful red-haired knight in a light adventurer's armor. She's in the middle of an attack, highlighting not only her twin daggers and miniskirt, but also her remarkable bowl haircut. The knight is part of a series of stories that follow the paths of several female knights. The creator of the series announced his retirement from dropping NFTs and decided to help on board his contemporaries.
Although Raff couldn't snag the most popular knight, a blue-haired princess who wields the Lycan Bastard Sword, he knew a hardcore fan would pay top dollar to complete the collection. So he bought the version with the knight holding emerald kappa daggers, hoping to flip it for a decent bag.
A number of bids come in, all trying to stay close to the artist's original listing price of 2 XEL, but Raff just shakes his head in disappointment. He's not going to take any offer seriously unless it's twice the price.
"Come on, it's the guy's last NFT drop. Gotta treat it with respect. He has royalties turned on, ya know."
Raff notices the time and almost falls off the couch. Moonshot is almost halfway done! He gnaws on his cheek, trying to decide if the sale is more important than breaking his Moonshot watch streak.
"It just won't be a good day if I don't start with Mineva's voice!"
After he makes his decision, an offer comes in for 10 XEL. 5 times the amount he paid. He quickly accepts the offer and does a little dance while watching the 8.5 XEL hit his wallet.
"Now I can watch with..."
The faint smell of something spicy stops Raff in his tracks. He takes a deep breath as the smell gets closer, causing his stomach to growl.
"I smell swine."
"Of course, you have to start the day with bacon."
Lux enters the room and places the breakfast sandwiches on a table in front of the couch. Raff moves over so Lux can sit down. He pulls out three large cans of WAGMI Stable, a sugar-free soda, from under the couch as the duo begin to eat the sandwiches.
Lux and Raff have been best friends since a faithful day a few years ago. Lux was wandering around NYU, he walked into a room where Raff and a bunch of other people were watching a cartoon. Curious as to what cartoon could gather a bunch of college students in one room, Lux approached him.
"What are you guys watching?"
Without even turning around to acknowledge Lux, Raff quickly said the name of the show.
"宇宙定義 猛勇懐"
Lux was taken aback by the name, which he really didn't understand.
"What?"
"Oh, my bad. Valiant Soul."
Lux has never heard of it, so he decides to focus on the TV to see what is so interesting. A digitized laugh echoes as a girl sits in what appears to be some sort of cockpit. She was wearing a red mini denim jacket and crop top, which seemed out of place with all the flashing technology around her.
"As if!"
The girl's eyes shine with determination as her words stop the laughter. With a tremendous force, she slams her fist directly into the center of her chest, causing not only her voluminous breasts to jiggle, but also her light brown hair to flare in anger.
"You totes don't know a human's bosom!"
She grabbed the two joystick-style controls attached to her seat as a green glow began to emanate from where she struck herself.
"Now like burn into a grody crisp!"
The scene changes to a large crimson humanoid robot with its right arm raised in the air. Emerald flames erupt from the robot's chest, engulfing it completely. The fiery robot seems to levitate as it charges straight at a mechanized badger. It plants its foot into the ground, transferring all of its momentum and flames into its fist. The camera dives back into the robot to reveal the cockpit covered in green lights. With the girl in the center, the green glow highlights her cute face, which seems to shift to a pained expression. She pushes both controls forward as she roars:
"SAVAGE PUFF BUSTER!"
The robot drives its fist right through the badgers. It's quiet for a moment. Then the badger twitches as a digitized voice screeches:
"MANKIND DOES NOT DESERVE THE FLAMES OF THOTH!"
With one last gasp, the badger implodes into a pile of green flames, then the credits roll.
"Whoa!"
Lux was in awe of what he had just seen. The animation had completely captured him and he had no idea he was sitting next to Raff waiting for the next episode to start. The rest is history, they both got into cryptocurrency and decided to move into a renovated warehouse in Sunset Park as they strive to build generational wealth.
Raff turns on the TV, which shows an anime style girl rocking back and forth. In the upper left corner is a small cyberize logo that reads Moonshot, with Mineva Bytes giving face to the perky voice that woke Lux. She has bright cyan hair, a fanged grin, and wears an outfit that looks like it's from a future that never was. The avatar's movement was limited, although there seems to be an exaggerated amount of movement in her chest. Raff stares intently at the screen.
"It's crazy how that boob window sells you lies."
Lux picks up on the unusual contempt in Raff's voice at the sight of Mineva.
"What have you got rugged on now?"
"Sloths."
Raff lets out a big sigh as he grabs his phone. He pulls up the astral listing of a sloth dressed in tropical clothing to show Lux. It has a goofy expression with its hand in the air, almost as if to greet Lux.
"Nobody wants to buy it! A waste of 30 XEL."
The shock of hearing Raff say the price causes the piece of food he was chewing to get stuck in his throat. He reaches for the can of WAGMI to dislodge it. Raff helps by patting Lux on the back.
"You're thinking of the current price. That was a few weeks ago."
"That's still a lot!"
Raff shrugs at the complaint.
"1 XEL is 1 XEL, $1 is 1 dollar. Cretin Mindset."
"Cretin?"
"A degenerate, fully entrenched in the ditches of capitalism."
Lux stares at Raff for a moment. He is not as in tune with the scene as Raff is, so he questions the validity of the statement.
"You just made that up?"
"No, it's a thing."
The two continue to eat their sandwiches while watching the rest of Moonshot. Mineva shows posts from Trenches, a social media site that's becoming increasingly popular with the crypto crowd. It's the number one place to get alpha on the latest drops with embedded support from various wallet apps.
While this is going on, someone enters the room. She looks like she stepped out of a cyberpunk comic, dressed in tech gear and makeup that highlights her almond-shaped eyes. This is Xiu, another resident of the warehouse. She looks at the screen with a confused expression on her face.
"Weren't you mad at her for advertising a rug?"
Raff chugs the last of his WAGMI before answering.
"One is never really mad at their kami oshi."
Xiu rolls her eyes as she walks over to Lux.
"What's on the agenda today?"
As if she could hear Xiu's question, Mineva explains what is so special about today.
"Where did the time go! It's almost time for the Onchain Holiday to begin! Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering what Onchain Holiday is? Well, to bring some festive cheer into the space, the Xeltithi community decided to create Onchain Holidays, a way for degens to participate in general holiday shopping. A big step towards normalizing the use of crypto".
Xiu stares at the TV for a moment, surprised at how mundane their plans are.
"So you guys are going to sit around and buy stuff that shows up on TV like a bunch of boomers?"
"Yup!"
They confirm in unison. Lux pushes Raff over to make room. He taps on the newly created space, motioning for Xiu to sit down.
"Join us."
"Sure."
She grabs the last sandwich and soda and joins the guys to watch the Onchain promotions.
