机不可失

Your success you decide

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sat, 16 Jul 2022 17:08:56 GMT

When I drive to work in the morning, I usually meet three young people who sell newspapers. Each of them has his own newspaper selling strategy. But one of them can always sell out the newspaper first. In fact, the other two are in a much better position than him. As I passed by the newsman day after day, I gradually realized that his success had nothing to do with his chosen position. The first newspaper seller always stands at the T-junction, and his face is always sad. When the passenger waved for the newspaper, he walked slowly over. When the customer just saw his signature bitter gourd face, he had stiffly stuffed the newspaper into the window. If it rains, it's hard to find him. Generally, I don't blame him for not buying his newspaper in rainy days, but when I desperately want to buy a newspaper and can't see it, I can't stand his working attitude. So I never bought newspapers from him again. The second newspaper seller stood at the crossroads, and the traffic lights brought him a lot of convenience. Once the passenger was stopped by the red light, he would run back and forth beside the stopped motorcade, shouting the name of the newspaper he sold. I tried to buy a newspaper from him several times, but I failed because he was always busy running and it was difficult to lock his position. I waved and shouted, but he never seemed to notice me. The third newsman is always standing in the middle of a busy street. Keep his legs slightly apart to maintain his standing posture. He held several newspapers in his hands and put them on his chest, so that when the driver and passengers passed him, they could glance at the headlines. He never walks with vehicles. I have noticed that he always waits for his customers to drive to him. He greeted everyone who passed by him with a pleasant "good morning". When someone slowed down to buy a newspaper, his face burst into a bright smile. I was deeply impressed by his friendly attitude. (www.lz13.cn) when I drove away, he shouted behind me, "thank you! Have a happy day! See you tomorrow!" He always managed to speak these words clearly and sweetly within a few seconds of selling the newspaper. Yes, the third newspaper seller is my favorite. You must say, it's no big deal, isn't it to sell a newspaper? But we can learn a lot from the three newspaper sellers:

Your job may not be your ideal job, but you can make yourself feel full and happy with everything you do today;
Even a short time of a few seconds can also leave a deep impression on others, so don't ignore your words and deeds because the time is too short.
All the good deeds you do cannot have good returns, but bad deeds will definitely lead to bad returns.
A grateful heart, a sweet smile and a short greeting are all the most subtle expressions, but over time, they will bring you far more rewards than you think.
The best way to defeat our competitors is to provide better services. I'm sure I'm not the only one who loves buying the third seller's newspaper. This morning, it rained again. The first newsman didn't know where to hide. The second newspaper seller, holding a wet newspaper, continued to run back and forth in the traffic. The third newspaper seller was still standing in his position, wearing a bright yellow raincoat. The newspaper in front of him was tightly covered under the transparent plastic cloth. The newspaper was not wet at all. People could still see the eye-catching headlines, and could clearly see the happy and bright smile on his face.

Seize the opportunity to improve yourself

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sat, 09 Jul 2022 14:10:54 GMT

When we talk about opportunities, we usually refer to those fleeting advantages and circumstances. When a good opportunity comes, it seems that time, place and people come together. Therefore, we will sigh countless times that we have made a lot of efforts, only one chance is missing. We also envy or envy others who have good opportunities. If you only focus on the outstanding success that everyone can see, the opportunity seems to be very limited - I've seen a book whose meaningful title has metaphorized this. The title of the book is "there is only one first place". Nowadays, the definition of eye-catching success is often very narrow, so there are few opportunities for success at the beginning: in the school, there are dozens of people in each class. Even if everyone works equally, there can only be one first place in the end; In institutions, from the grass-roots level to the top, the number is generally pyramid shaped. The higher you go, the fewer positions you will have. There are far more people looking forward to promotion than positions that can be promoted. In the crowded public space, few people can instantly get the attention of everyone... Why can't you go to people who have the same strength, quality and performance? You may boil it down to: I'm one chance away. Most of the time, we think that getting opportunities is related to people's background, beauty, and future events, but has nothing to do with all these, that is, being extremely lucky and favored by heaven. However, the opportunity itself implies accidental factors. Looking at the situation of others and myself, if I only see that he is lucky and gets the opportunity, but I am unlucky and miss the opportunity, or place my hope on an unpredictable opportunity, it will not be of much help to my own growth or success. Countless people have said similar words: it is the weak who only wait for opportunities and even complain about not waiting. The strong will take the initiative to create opportunities. Be able to actively create, no longer rely on unpredictable external conditions, not wait passively, nor complain irritably, but put your goals, choices, intentions, courage, enthusiasm, strength, and flexibility into it, interact with the people and environment around you, and win the opportunities you need in the change. When someone keeps doing this, while trying to find and create opportunities, he also tries to cultivate his internal skills and improve himself. You will gradually find that even if he fails twice, as long as he doesn't encounter too bad environment (such as natural and man-made disasters), such a person will succeed sooner or later. They don't need to rely on chance and lament their bad luck. For their increasing strength, it is inevitable that they will achieve something. When you expand your horizons and regard all conditions and opportunities that are conducive to achieving yourself, improving interpersonal relationships and improving the situation as opportunities, including those that fall from the sky and those that you actively strive for and create, there are many opportunities. At this time, it is worth noting that it is still a change of vision - under the same conditions, some people see opportunities, while others only see problems and obstacles. As an old story says: two salesmen who sell shoes go to the same virgin land respectively. A depressed man came back and reported that there was no chance, and people there didn't wear shoes. The other came back excitedly and reported that there were great opportunities for development! No one there has shoes! Of course, if the great opportunities seen by the latter really want to be realized, at least we need to find out who has the corresponding purchasing power or potential purchasing power. In addition, we need to be mentally prepared. It takes a little time to cultivate the market. In any case, having a good eye for discovering and capturing opportunities will make it easier to achieve success and happiness in the long run. Good vision includes clearly knowing where you are going. When your goal is clear, you can not only save time and do things consistent with your goal, but also have the opportunity to turn every experience into a ladder closer to your goal. What many people face is another confusion, not that they have no opportunities, but that they have many choices and can't recognize which is the real good opportunity. I heard the experience of an entrepreneur two years ago. That is a woman who has been successful and famous in her own field. When she was middle-aged, opportunities to cooperate with her poured in from all directions. After spending a lot of time trying to figure out which opportunities were good, one day she suddenly realized that it was important to know where she was going and what she really wanted. When you have a good enough vision, know what you want, and focus on the scope you can decide, choose and influence, don't worry about opportunities. All you need to do is live a healthy life, do what you love (whether it can be a job or always a hobby), get along well with family and friends, interact with them sincerely, learn to affirm the beauty and brilliance of yourself and others, discover, create and enjoy the pleasures of daily life... One day, the opportunity to knock on the door. It can be said that every day is giving you a new opportunity to know yourself more, live yourself, learn to love more and more, and let yourself live in love.

There is no way out until there is a way out

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Mon, 04 Jul 2022 16:12:35 GMT

No one can deny that people are sentimentally attached to comfort and stability in essence, and like to be lazy and leisurely. But if you want to make a breakthrough and success in your life, you must put more pressure on yourself and force yourself to do your best. At this time, it is really a great way to choose to cut off the road. Jin Yong, a famous writer of martial arts novels, once told reporters that many of his works were "forced" out. After the reporter asked in detail, Jin Yong said that he was actively "forced" to cut off his retreat. It turned out that when he was writing Liancheng Jue, he once had a tired and lazy mentality, and sometimes he couldn't write 1000 words a day. He felt that this would not work, so he took the initiative to sign a serial contract with the newspaper. The contract stipulated that he had to complete how many words a day, and he had to pay compensation for breach of contract. Such a "force", he had to control his psychology, calm down, devote himself to writing, rush to write at the speed of 5000 words every day, and finally completed the novel in advance. Later, when writing other novels, he signed a contract with the newspaper and then wrote them, constantly tasting the fruitful results after cutting off his retreat. Hugo, another world-class French writer, once cut himself off. In 1830, Hugo signed a contract with a publisher to write a novel for publication within six months. Hugo, who was born in a noble family, has a wide social circle and often has to attend various banquets, parties and other activities. Later, he felt that this would affect his writing too much, so he thought of a unique trick: lock all the expensive clothes other than underwear and sweaters he was wearing in the cabinet, and then throw the key into the depths of the lake! In this way, because he couldn't get the clothes he needed to go out, he completely stopped thinking about going out to meet friends and play, buried himself in writing, and never left his desk except eating and sleeping. As a result, the work was completed two weeks in advance. This work, which was completed in only five months, is the masterpiece Notre Dame de Paris, which later became a world literary classic. In fact, it was common in ancient times to cut off one's own way. The most typical is the "desperate" act of Xiang Yu, the overlord of Chu in the late Qin Dynasty, in the decisive battle with Qin General Zhang Han: he let the soldiers sink the boat crossing the river into the river and smash the cauldron for dinner, showing his determination not to go back without defeating the enemy. In the end, he defeated Zhang Han with a few victories and a large defeat. Soon, Han Xin, who fought with the state of Zhao, also used a similar way to "fight against the enemy", which put the army on the back of the river and made the soldiers cut off the idea of going back. The Jedi counterattacked and also achieved a total victory. It can be seen from this that the words of the ancients "to be trapped in a dead place and then born, and to live after setting a dead place" are indeed the most reasonable proverbs. When the famous orator of ancient Greece was young, in order to exercise his speech ability, he often hid in a basement to practice pronunciation and speech skills. In his twenties, he loved to play. Because he couldn't bear loneliness, he wanted to go out for a walk after practicing for a while, and his heart was always restless, so the effect of practice was not good. In order to control himself, he was ruthless and personally shaved half of his hair, turning into a strange "Yin and Yang head". In this way, because his strange hairstyle made him shy, he had to completely give up the idea of going out to play and concentrate on practice. For months in a row, he never left home, practiced hard every day, and his speech level improved by leaps and bounds. Later, he finally became a famous speaker. Of course, breaking the retreat shows great determination and confidence. Sometimes, the pressure of others on you, although not what you want, often objectively cuts off your retreat, which also plays a great incentive role. In the 1930s and 1940s, there was an American composer George Gershwin. When he was just a little famous, he never wrote a symphony. Once, the famous conductor of the most famous American skand Jazz Orchestra appreciated his talent and kindly invited him to write a symphony for the symphony orchestra. Although Gershwin was deeply moved, he refused because he knew nothing about symphony and was afraid of losing face. The conductor tried to persuade him to write again and again, but he still refused. Seeing that he was so stubborn, the conductor also became stubborn, and even published an advertisement in the newspaper without Gershwin's permission, saying that Gershwin's latest work, Symphony Rhapsody in blue, would be staged in the concert hall in 20 days! The circulation of this newspaper is so large that all the world knows the news at once. At a loss, Gershwin was stunned when he saw the advertisement in the newspaper and hurriedly questioned the conductor why he embarrassed him. The conductor smiled and said to him, "anyway, the whole city knows this, so you can do it." Gershwin saw that it was so far, so he had to harden his head and shut himself in the room, starting the creation of the first symphony of his life. It doesn't matter. He just finished the symphony "Rhapsody in blue" in two weeks. He didn't expect that his first performance was a great success, and Gershwin's fame quickly spread throughout the United States. Later, he became the most famous composer in Hollywood. Coincidentally, the success of Negro baritone singer Na Jinggao, an American pianist of Gershwin's time and later known as the "Lyric Jazz king", was also "forced" by others. At that time, he was still a young unknown piano player, with a career of playing in bars. Because of his good piano skills, many guests came here with admiration. One night he was playing, when suddenly a guest asked him not to play the piano again, and he wanted to listen to him sing a song. He repeated, "I can't sing." However, the "unreasonable" request of this guest was coaxed and supported by other guests! He explained again and again with some shyness and fear: "I have learned piano since I was a child, and I have never learned to sing. I'm afraid I'll sing very hard." But no one listened to his explanation. After knowing this, the bar owner only said one sentence to Na Jinggao: "if you don't want to lose your job, sing a song." In desperation, Na Jinggao blushed and timidly sang the Mona Lisa. Unexpectedly, the singing together, unexpectedly won the applause! From then on, he began to sing while playing. Later, his reputation for singing far exceeded that of piano playing, and he became the "king of jazz" all over the world. To think of it, Na Jinggao really has to thank the guest and the boss. If they hadn't been forced to die, would he have achieved such brilliant achievements today? If a person wants to achieve a career, he must concentrate on pursuing his own goals. And human nature has inherent weaknesses. When we are unable to control our inertia and desires and can't concentrate on moving forward, we might as well cut off the retreat and force ourselves to go all out to find a way out. Facts have proved that no matter whether it is self cutting off the retreat or he cutting off the retreat, as long as the retreat is cut off and there is no retreat, it is easier to find a way out and more likely to succeed.

There is no strong enemy in the world, only a weak self

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 18:51:15 GMT

How many stories I have heard, how many bustling encounters I have encountered, when the past is drifting away, I can only savor it alone in the empty midnight. Seeing flowers bloom and fall, why can't you let go of life's separation. I often admire the clouds in the sky and the fish in the water. Clouds come and go freely, without any obstacles; Fish only have seven seconds of memory, never sad. They have nothing but happiness. The world of mortals is too noisy, and the dust circle is too muddy. Time flies, time flies. If you are not careful, you will grow old. Prosperity is just a handful of fine sand. Unable to stand the waste of time, you will slip away from your fingers. Yearn for a life, see the clouds rolling in the sky, see the flowers blooming and falling on the ground, stroll around the court, and wander in the world of words. Do not want to perceive too many things in the world. It seems that it will only increase troubles and worries. How long have I not talked about feelings? Does it mean how long I have forgotten? Once upon a time, I was afraid of the loss of the little remaining feelings. I was afraid that my words could not find a place to go. For a long time, words were scarce for me. After writing my own story, I just wrote a few words, and some feelings could not be explained. Dating back to a few years ago, when I first started my life without understanding feelings, I was eager to discuss life. So I often published articles lamenting life. After a few years, I looked back at myself at the beginning, but my youth didn't know the taste of sorrow, so I was forced to say sorrow for new words. People can not get, there is always regret and unwillingness. They don't care what they have, but don't know what others offer. I don't know why, when I know the ending, I have to set foot in it and taste the flavor of it. I still have to choose forgiveness until there are many scars. People's youth, there will always be good, that person's frown and smile, may have been engraved in the mind for a long time. At that moment, it has become the stormy waves of your life. Many years later, will you be like me when you pick up those photos of that year and burst into tears; Whether they will still be moved by their own craziness. That thin shadow, that blue and clear eyes, that unforgettable smile, is destined to make me miss it all my life like a needle hidden in cotton. There is always some time. Only after the past can we find that it has been deeply engraved in our memory. Many years later, one night under the lamp, when I think of it, I will smile quietly. Those people, who have gone by boat in the river of time, have disappeared. However, in their hearts, there is the warmth that has crossed the river of time, which will never disappear. One day when you think of me, time has settled all the mistakes and learned not to ask why. Until one day, in the face of love began to stingy, will not miss the original hot? All the way through their own twists and turns, until one day, choose someone to help each other. There are no powerful enemies in the world, only weak ones.

You know, luck is no accident

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 15:37:33 GMT

Guide: many successful people walk down the red carpet, stand on the podium and talk about their success, often like to say "in fact, I am very lucky -". Do not believe the words of successful people. This is a kind of self modesty, perhaps because you see a bigger situation; Perhaps to guard against arrogance and impetuosity; Maybe it's for fear of your envy, jealousy and hatred. The truth is: luck is no accident! Lucky people have done at least three things. If you haven't done these three things, you will know why you are not lucky enough. The first thing is to know exactly what you want Imagine that you are standing at a crossroads and want to take a bus that allows you to get there quickly. When you see the buses shuttle back and forth, which one do you decide to take? If you have no direction or destination, no one can take you, so you have to wander at the crossroads without knowing where you are going. "If you don't know where to go, you can't go anywhere." The fundamental reason why you can't seize the opportunity to jump on a bus that allows you to move forward quickly is that you don't know what you really want. Therefore, only when you want to know what you want, can you identify opportunities and not miss luck. If you don't know what you want, you won't be able to identify opportunities, and you will miss out on luck. The second thing is to be ready for what you want Most of the time, we know what we want, such as a favorite job or a favorite partner. But when they come to us and are within reach, we find that we are not ready and not attractive enough. Let the favorite job and partner also love us. At this time, we will regret why we didn't do something for it, but what's the use of regret? "Opportunity always favors the prepared mind". If you are not prepared, you will not be favored. So, don't always talk about dreams. It's enough to talk about dreams once. The important thing is to keep accumulating and preparing for them in order to get close to them. "Only by burying your head can you get ahead.". The third thing is to fight bravely Most of the time, we also know what we want and have made full preparations. However, when things come to an end, we dare not take the initiative to fight for them. We are afraid of wolves in the first place and tigers in the second. We worry about gains and losses. As a result, opportunities are taken away by others. I fell in love with a girl in college, but I was afraid of being rejected. I didn't dare to confess until one day, I saw this girl with a boy who was three times worse than me. The most painful thing in the world is to tell her at the classmate meeting many years after graduation: "in fact, I liked you very much at that time -" is it still interesting to say this? Can only make the sadness more sad, regret more regret. The same is true in the workplace. When we see the colleagues we worked with many years ago, now there are five people and six people, and then we say bitterly, "in fact, I also wanted to go at that time, but it's a pity that you were the first one." what's the use of saying this? What did you do? The workplace refuses to commit adultery. If you want to, you should speak out boldly! Postscript Do you know why you are not lucky enough? To sum up, it is: First, it is not that there is no opportunity, but that you don't know what you want and can't identify the opportunity, so you miss it; Second, it's not that you don't know what you want, but that you are not fully prepared for what you want, so when it comes, you can't grasp it; Third, it's not that you don't know what you want and don't make full preparations, but that you are not brave enough to fight for it, so you don't catch it. I wish to encourage you.

What is the most worthwhile thing to invest in your life

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Mon, 06 Jun 2022 16:36:40 GMT

What will you think of when you hear about investment? Investment in companies, real estate and family... What is the most worthwhile thing to invest in your life? Have you ever thought about it?

Time Time is money, time is life. Time is the most worthwhile thing for you to invest in, I think. You think so, too.
Health The body is the capital of revolution. Without a healthy body, everything else is floating.
Family Family members are our closest and dearest people. Without them, would you feel lonely? Without them, would you feel that life is meaningless.
Contacts If you have no friends, if you have no contacts, no one will help you when you want to start a business or when you want to do something.
Lover Needless to say, a lover is a lifelong partner. If you don't invest in your lover, who do you invest in.
Career Of course, it does not mean that everyone should start a business, have their own company, and have their own business. In fact, in my opinion, a business is not necessarily a company, but also a job.
Hobbies I think a person must have various hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies, I can only say that you should invest in one of your hobbies.

Three tigers on the road to success

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 16:44:13 GMT

When it comes to success, many people interpret it from different angles; When it comes to failure, many people explain it from many aspects. Looking back on the road I have traveled, I feel that there are three tigers on the road to success, blocking the pace of progress!

Too many excuses There is only one reason for success and countless excuses for failure. Only when we know what we want can we know what to do. Winners overcome all difficulties, while losers are overcome by all difficulties. Winners only look for answers behind the questions, while losers always look for questions behind the answers! Take away the excuse, our life is full of goals, because life with goals is a voyage, and life without goals is wandering! Life is only live broadcast without rehearsal. We can't increase the length of life, but we can increase the width of life and create infinite possibilities in a limited life. So once we set our goals, we must go all out and devote ourselves wholeheartedly! When we go all out, the world will make way for us! Big goals, small problems; Small goals make big problems; No goals are all problems, only goals are no problems! So the goal is the sobering agent of life, and learning is the accelerator of success! A person with a goal can not sleep, a person without a goal can not sleep; A team with goals will have many stories, and a team without goals will have many accidents! Find a clear goal, learn from the example, and the excuse will disappear naturally!
Too suspicious Doubt is possible, but verification is more important! It's better to prove it in a short time than to doubt it for a long time! Doubt sees darkness, believe sees light! Doubt sees difficulties, believe sees roads! Believe first and then be wise! Simplicity is wisdom, and simplicity is efficiency! If we decide to do something, we must act immediately. Only action can produce results. Blindly doubt imagination, no results, just a waste of time, all in vain! A young man asked an old man along the road, "old man, how long does it take to get to the village ahead?", "Young man, go!", "I'll ask you how long you've been to the village in front of you. Just tell me. Why do you keep saying," go, young man! ", "Really, how can this be, old man!". The young man walked forward unhappily! "This way, we'll be there in 15 minutes!", The young man didn't go far, the old man said. "Why didn't you tell me just now?" The young man came back angrily and asked the old man, "it will take you 10 minutes to walk at your current speed!" The old man said that the young man walked faster than before. "Young man, how can I know your speed if you don't go? How can I know your time if I don't know your speed?". Yes, if we don't act, how can we know the answer only in imaginary doubt? What about success?
Too small minded How big a person's mind and bearing is, how big his career must be! A person who haggles over every ounce has only two kilograms left. Care about the present will lose the future! Small love is hard to walk, big love travels all over the world! If we enlarge our mind and level, our life will be different!

Being willing to be lonely is a necessary quality for creators

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Fri, 27 May 2022 16:00:31 GMT

Whether a person's work is worthy of respect depends on the spirit of his work rather than the behavior itself. It is just like that the creator created a wild flower, a small insect or a giant elephant with the same attention when he created all things. No matter what you do, you should strive for perfection and get great happiness from it. Such a working attitude contains a kind of divinity, which can not be summarized by the so-called professional ethics or professionalism. The most important part of everyone's life is the job he loves. He can enter the world and gain a foothold in the world. With this work that he can devote himself to, his life has a core, and his whole life is organized into a whole around this core. Without this core, his life is fragmented. For example, it will split into two unpleasant parts, one part is torture work, the other part is mindless leisure. For all those who feel the meaning of life from their work, the medal cannot repay them, nor will it make them lose if they are treated unfairly. The inner wealth cannot find or need the secular counterpart. What will people like Tolstoy, Kafka and Einstein lose and gain if they don't win the Nobel Prize? Only those who have no source of happiness in their hearts will haggle over the external gains and losses, and diligently pursue the titles of professors, ministers and various ridiculous awards. They do this understandably, because without it, they have nothing. St. Exupery defined creation as "exchanging life for something longer than life". I think it is very accurate. The difference between the creator and the non creator lies in that the latter only exchanges life for the things that maintain life, and only produces the wealth that they can use directly or indirectly; On the contrary, the former works to create wealth that they can't use, and the meaning of life is precisely pinned on this wealth. In the field of spiritual creation, there can be no real cooperation. At best, there is only exchange. In this field, all serious and great things are completed independently by different individuals in their own loneliness. Sometimes they might as well get together to chat and listen to what others are doing, so as to correctly evaluate what they are doing. This is a rest after work, but as for work, everyone has to do it alone behind closed doors. Loneliness is the destiny of the creator, so being willing to be lonely is a necessary quality of the creator, not only in today's era. Spiritual and cultural creation is the most personal cause in practice. All great works in academia or literature and art are the result of personal painstaking efforts in loneliness. There is a kind of enrichment in the loneliness of creation, which makes the creator absolutely unwilling to exchange his loneliness for the excitement of others. He basically had no choice, which did not mean that he had a noble mission, but that only in this way could he feel the meaning of life. He is doing what he most wants to do in this life and cannot do without doing, so he has no regrets regardless of success or failure. A good idea, a good work, is just a seed before it takes shape. This seed comes from the land where human beings live, and then floats like catkins in the sky of human spirit. If it falls into your heart, and your heart happens to be a piece of fertile soil, it will sprout and grow in your heart, and finally hopefully develop into a good plant. Of course, the creation of spirit is inseparable from the external environment, but more importantly, the internal environment. There are willow catkins all over the sky. The sun is bright and the water is sufficient. But if your heart is barren soil, your heart will still not be covered with green willows. A seed can only exist as a seed if it falls on suitable soil. In a sense, the process of spiritual creation is indeed a natural process. As long as you have a suitable internal environment and get a good seed, no matter what your body is doing in the external world, even if you are doing slave like heavy labor, this seed will still silently follow the path designated by nature. The breeding of great works is not necessarily in the study, but more in the dusty journey of life, when they are involuntarily doing all kinds of trivial things, and the study is at most just the delivery room where it once gave birth. Of course, the premise is that you have a good internal environment, a fertile soil and a good uterus.

The strong are always strong. Don't let age and times coerce you away

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sat, 21 May 2022 16:06:25 GMT

When I returned to my first project at work after maternity leave, I suffered a serious Waterloo. Although half of them were irresistible, when I received a 3000 word letter from my boss, it was full of incisive advice and abuse. Of course, I know in my heart: she just scolds me and won't kick me. After all, someone needs to work hard. But my world is crumbling because of a letter. I can't help thinking about how I came to this stage step by step: Three years ago, when I didn't grow up, I had a good opportunity to find me, but I felt that opportunity was very tired and too tossed; Two years ago, I felt that when I reached the ceiling, I had a fair chance to find me. Now I think the maternity leave in my unit is longer; A year ago, I considered changing a job, and there was no suitable opportunity to find me. I felt very confused. It seemed that it was more terrible outside. One day, an old friend of more than 20 years came to see me. She usually spends half her time as an independent curator in Beijing and half her time studying for a doctorate in anthropology in France. We walked slowly along the river in the shade of willows, the breeze blowing our faces. It's a rare day without haze and sand, but with a warm breeze. Whether it's the spring willow on the roadside or the water grass sticking out of the water, it seems that we all know that the growth season has come and try our best to stretch our waist and legs. I told her about my recent experience and predicted myself in ten or twenty years. I couldn't help but feel sad and choked. My friend asked me: what kind of job do you want? I said to go to a place where there is still room for growth and new things can be learned. The friend smiled and said: you have learned enough! What you lack most is to find a place where you can use what you have learned and make the existing value shine. At that moment, I seemed to be awakened in a dream. Hope is like a bud sticking out of the soil, eager to try. The strong are always strong. Don't let age and times coerce you away! 01 The turning point is not that you can turn if you want The next days are not so inspiring. When I was in various headhunting companies, I was told again and again in different ways, "your opening was good, but later, you wasted too much time and enjoyed the comfort that didn't belong to you." If the previous psychological preparation is a vague feeling, and every time I hear these words, it is a ruthless judgment of the past few years. Once, my classmate introduced me to talk with her friend, the boss of a headhunting company. I sat in the semi enclosed conference room sipping ice water, listening to the boss talking and laughing with a young client outside. Then I sent her out. Their high-heeled shoes collided with the cement floor deliberately made into industrial style, making a clear and firm foot sound. Da da da da hit my heart every time. I tried to restrain myself from thinking about the lost minutes and seconds in the past few years because of my desire for comfort. I know that N years ago, when I decided to take "more money, less things, closer to home" as my work ideal, today's outcome of sipping ice water is doomed. I know that when I let myself stand still and still do nothing, this day is doomed. Sadly, I chose to stay in the comfort zone and continue to work with a halo on my head. After many years, I failed to realize my "life ideal" of "more money, less things and closer to home". The market is changing, the trend is changing, and the times are changing. Everything is beyond the ideal scope of my design. That's not enough. What's more ironic is that I'm sitting in an office building that hasn't been renovated yet. Many years ago, I worked in the same building. Standing in front of the stove like ants in the morning. One half of that imposing spirit comes from misreading platform resources as one's own ability, and the other half is gradually consumed by the torrent of affairs in the workplace. I talked with my headhunter for a long time that day. She asked three questions, but I couldn't answer any of them. She asked: First, what is your value different from ordinary people? It's not the value that people who have worked for three or five years can create, but the value that can't be created without you. Only you can create for the platform? Second, you just told me what you don't want to do, so what do you want to do? Third, you said that you intend to switch back to the fast track from a closed and comfortable environment and are willing to pay a price. Where is the bottom line you draw for this price? When I left, I looked at the office building that had stayed for more than a year again: it was no longer familiar to me. The logo has been taken off, and the former companies and neighbors have retreated one after another. Some have bought their own land and properties in the north of the city, while others have completely left the city. We can no longer see American brands and European brands that often cross layers. Each layer is separated and cut into smaller cubes. Each cube is pregnant with small companies that are not famous but full of vitality. There are no more fashionable men and women pacing in suits and shoes and every inch of makeup in the hall. Instead, young people with shirt sleeves, red and blue work cards and anxiety come in and out, as if they can't catch up with the opportunities ahead if they walk quickly. I walked out of the building and looked back at it again. In my not long career, it stood like a milestone, but when I looked again, it was as dazzling as an abyss. 02 The best time to plant trees was ten years ago The second is now With three questions in mind, I decided to start over. I often fall into intermittent despair. How do I feel that everything has returned to the original point after so many years of struggle? But when he calmed down, he felt that the accumulation in the past was still a treasure, and what he lacked was a firm spade. I keep meeting old friends, classmates and former colleagues, talking with them, listening to completely different perspectives, learning to re recognize myself from other people's eyes, and countless schemes hover in my mind: Continue to stay in the original unit and change the Department? Follow the call of colleagues who have changed jobs and go to a similar organization? Think slowly while taking care of the children at home? Back to the carrier 500? To the Internet company far away from me? Of course, there are many other complicated questions: what industry? Do what? Do you want to transform? I kept changing my mind. Every night I lay on my pillow and had an idea. When I got up, my idea changed again. She once talked with a friend overseas for nearly three hours. When she was about to hang up, she said: anyway, I envy you that you are still at home and can participate in the tide. This sentence suddenly made me realize that it's not too late. At least there are opportunities outside, but I also realized: It is useless to describe all possible challenges and the unknown world with your own imagination. Why not start with the simplest and best thing you can do? Talking with people constantly before, I have a deep understanding: confusion is the norm of everyone in this era. No matter how successful, leisurely and determined you look at others from the perspective of onlookers, he has his own confusion and uncertainty. If so, everything is not so bad. I've been closed in the same system for too long. The biggest problem is that I can't figure out my position and height. But this does not mean that the accumulation over the past years is a waste. What I need is to break a seam with my bare hands and integrate the outside world with my own world. Only by combing and understanding the active and passive learning in the past in a more systematic way and from a new perspective can we know our position.

You don't lack ability, but execution

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Mon, 16 May 2022 15:21:38 GMT

Last year, a writer friend felt that the writing market was very hot and decided to write seriously. To be fair, the writer's writing level was very good. He got full marks in the college entrance examination composition. He was once the first prize winner of the xinyinnian composition competition and was the envy of many people. Six months later, I thought she should have a lot of works published in newspapers, but I didn't expect nothing. Once I chatted on wechat, I asked her why. She said: "I haven't started writing yet. I always think I don't know what to write, so I just ran aground. Besides, it's estimated that no one wants me to write. It's better not to write." To tell you the truth, I have nothing to say about her. I just feel very sorry that a person with good writing skills is so useless. In fact, many times, we are not incompetent, but lack of execution. Thinking too much is a common problem of most young people. When they encounter problems, they first think of difficulties, not how to solve them. Because of fear, dreams can only be dreams. If you do everything, you may succeed, but you may also fail, but if you don't do it, it seems that you can only fail. There are many people who hesitate when they encounter things and want to wait for a great opportunity, but they don't know that when you hesitate, people with super executive power are already doing it. Over time, you will find that even if your starting point is much higher than others, you will be left behind by them. The reason for this is not your ability, but your execution. A friend switched to work in a foreign company. When he first went to the company, he was taken care of by his immediate boss because of many smart ideas. Once when he told his boss his ideas, his boss thumbed up and said, "that's a good idea. You must form a plan as soon as possible". The boss originally thought that the friend would execute immediately after he finished, but he didn't do it at all. He just stayed at the level of thinking. Later, the boss was going to a meeting and hurriedly said to his friend, "have you finished the plan I said last time? I want to talk about cooperation with each other." The friend hesitated and said, "sorry, I haven't done it yet. Please give me some more time." Now the boss is angry, because almost a month has passed, he didn't give his friend any chance, but directly fired him. My friend felt aggrieved. He told me roast on wechat: "but I didn't make a plan. It's really difficult for foreigners to serve.". When my friend said this, I didn't say anything. Maybe he hasn't realized how important executive power is to a person or even an enterprise. Many times, ability is not the most important, execution is. The employees who perform well in the enterprise may not have the strongest ability, but they must have the strongest execution. Maybe they don't have strong ability, but they will definitely handle everything in order. Instead of staying at the level of thinking, it's better to do it hard, at least in this way, there will be no regret. In life, many people are like this. They always say they want to start losing weight, but a few months have passed without any progress. Losing weight has become a mantra; He vowed to go to bed early, get up early and study hard, but after brushing his mobile phone, it was two o'clock in the morning. Make up your mind to save money to realize your tiny dream, but pay it every month. When others talk about your dream, they never have the motivation to implement it. A man was very interested in painting, but he didn't dare to start and dragged on. Once he said to his friend, "I like painting very much, but I haven't dared to start all the time, for fear that I can't draw well.". The friend said, "let's not say whether you can draw well, but if you don't start, how do you know you can't draw well?" You, me and most of the young people around me are like this. Although they have many good ideas in their hearts, they never dare to start. They are always running away because they are afraid of failure. But you know, waiting and hesitation are the most ruthless killers in the world. If you want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, study hard immediately and don't stay at the level of thinking; If you want to lose weight, keep your mouth shut and open your legs. Don't just talk. If the ability is good, don't stay at the level of thinking, because this will only harm you and make you farther and farther away from your dream.

I choose to work hard rather than admit my fate

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Thu, 12 May 2022 14:36:51 GMT

Previously, there was a post on Tianya called "it's hard for a poor family to have a noble son". It means that in our current society, children born in poor families are more difficult to stand out than their parents. This post immediately aroused heated discussion on the Internet. Do you agree with this view? one A recent Minsheng credit card advertising video "life custom", which tells the "essence" of life and the "fate" of several young people. Indeed, on the day of birth, we don't know that this is an unreasonable world. Some people are born with something, and some people want to have it all their life. So, do you want to admit your life? We have never been favored by fate, but we always have a choice. I think of a friend who once shared his story: at the age of 25, the company held group construction. It was suggested to go to a home stay by the sea. Everyone reconsidered and agreed. After a while, someone sent a screenshot in the group, with an average of 800 a day. After reading it, he felt stuffed for a long time. He paid 800 yuan and went for three days. At that time, his monthly salary was only 3000. He complained: "it's so expensive." After a while, several graduates also said: "It doesn't matter. Just tell my father." "I have no problem." "800 yuan, OK." …… In a few words, he stared for a long time until the mobile phone went black. At that moment, I was really sad to see my expression. He suddenly found that there was no one behind him and no one to rely on. But now, ten years later, he is very grateful for the embarrassment at that moment. If it weren't for that moment, he wouldn't struggle in it and come to today. Should we be grateful for the cruelty of reality? No, what we should be grateful for is the one who is unwilling to fall behind. There is a question: when did you stop being an ordinary person? Gao Zan replied: when I realized that I was just an ordinary person. Once, struggling in life, we were all anonymous. Later, we accepted this reality, but we will try to change it. Yes, the world is never reasonable. That's why we have to work hard. When we find the gap between ourselves and others, we laugh at our shortcomings, but we still work hard. Slowly, we are no longer ordinary. two We often hear some discouraging words, such as, "Others have won at the starting line." "No matter how hard you try, your end is the starting point of others." "People are born better than you and work harder than you." But so what? Guo Degang told the story of his childhood: "When I was a child, my family was poor. When it rained at school, other children stood in the classroom waiting for an umbrella, but I knew I didn't have an umbrella at home, so I ran home in the rain. If you didn't have an umbrella, you had to run hard!" Some people say that children without umbrellas are miserable. They run hard and get wet. But I think he is lucky. At least he learned to run. For example, I have a brother who was poor when he was a child and dropped out of high school. Although the conditions at home are not good, he can't stop his love of learning. He always has unlimited energy to try new things. And once he has identified a goal, he will not give up when the sky falls. Others asked him: aren't you tired? He said: I super enjoy the feeling of developing myself. I feel like I have infinite potential. Others laughed at him: anyway, you can't fight the rich. What's the use? He asked: what does the rich have to do with me? My opponent is yesterday's self. Yes, success is never how much we have gained, but how much we have moved forward in the face of the starting point. In a sense, we are all "children without umbrellas". We live in a foreign land, with coffee and instant noodles as companions day and night. We dare not fall in love, travel or give ourselves a holiday. We worked hard and didn't miss any chance. But we worked hard, maybe we can only live an ordinary life. But this "ordinary" life is already a shining day for myself in the past. I always believe that to be a man, you should work hard like you have nothing. Hard work is to hold the fate in your own hands and see the colored eggs in the second half of your life. It doesn't matter who you are. three As for why we work hard, the microblog said: When you get into first class, no one will care about your origin; When you get the first place in the exam, no one cares whether your qualifications are mediocre; When you stand at the peak of success, no one cares how many times you have failed. In this world, only outstanding people can be seen forever. The world is never equal. How hard you work, how special you are. We have all seen Stephen Chow's the king of comedy and are deeply moved by it. Indeed, Yin Tianqiu is a very ordinary person. He has no appearance, no background, and doesn't suddenly save the world and become a hero. But he is a hero. He conscientiously played every role and lived every part of his life. He can stand up and say, "actually, I'm an actor." And isn't this the most moving part of the whole film? Therefore, there is no king superstar, but a civilian hero. Life is to keep doing multiple-choice questions, but everyone has different options: Some people can choose the best school in the county; Some people can pursue their dreams, while others should strive to make money and support their dreams; Some people can inherit the inheritance, while others can become rich and let their sons inherit the inheritance. You know, fate always misses the net. Our counterattack may be a legend. It took you five years to climb to the top of the mountain. The other man spent five years waiting. At the same time, the height of life is very different. Under limited conditions, each of us can pursue unlimited excellence. Don't admit your fate, don't admit defeat. Finally, I quote Wilde's famous saying: we all live in the gutter, but we can still look up to the stars. The world is not yours, but you decide how to live. Fate is always bullying the soft and afraid of the hard. If you don't admit defeat, you won't lose.

Six kinds of contacts are more important than money

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sat, 07 May 2022 11:46:13 GMT

Countless people have asked me, which is important in entrepreneurship, contacts and money? I say it's important. They asked again, if there is only one thing in two, which is important? Although I feel embarrassed to ask such questions, I will calmly answer them: contacts are important. Contacts are everywhere in life. Contacts are more important than money in life. Some people are born with high-quality contacts, some are trained after tomorrow, and some people can't get high-quality contacts in this life at all. There are many ways to get contacts. First, look at life. It's mentioned here that the "official second generation" and the "rich second generation" have unique advantages. Every ordinary entrepreneur should neither envy nor be angry. Society is like this. It's human nature. Don't neglect everyone when you work. Everyone means colleagues, bosses, friends, customers, even competitors. The basis of contacts is trust. Working experience will make you contact different people in your field and cherish every one of them, even if you suffer some losses. This is the most direct contact resource when you start a business in the future. Third, parents are the eternal foundation, and relatives are the eternal resources. Since parents are your most direct angel investment, parents and seven aunts are also your most reliable basic network resources. Fourth, circle. This circle refers to tools, which are all the circle applications you can find on the Internet. Remember, especially boys, when your career is not stable, use the communication tools in the Internet to get fewer girls and make more friends with people in the industry; Less nonsense and more exchange of work and business experience; Steal less vegetables and read more cattle man's log. Over time, you will thank yourself when you start a business. Fifth, students. Of course, the role of students is often effective only after you are 30 years old, because at this time, people of the same age continue to take important jobs and gradually master the right to speak and decide. Students are the most awesome network foundation next to parents. In the past, students based on pure friendship often provide selfless and reliable awesome support on your way to entrepreneurship, whether in primary school, middle school or university. Sixth, this is an extension of Article 2, especially the boss among colleagues in Article 2. Working is an important wealth in your life experience. This wealth is your boss at that time, with direct leadership and big leadership. The boss is not your natural enemy, public or private. Every employee who contributes to the company will be remembered by the boss with morality and conscience. Such cases have happened around me countless times: a diligent employee left to start a business, and his former boss was his first angel investor. The above six points should be kept in mind by every entrepreneur. They are the basis of your future business contacts.

30 wisdom to change your life

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Fri, 06 May 2022 15:02:17 GMT

Modesty can make you popular Those who know a little are not modest; A man of knowledge and ability must be modest. Understanding: modesty can make you show your talents in your career Introspection: talk less about your pride Skill: a man must learn to bow his head
Abide by faith and win thousands of gold with a promise What a liar gets, even if he tells the truth, no one believes it Understanding: honesty and trustworthiness are the foundation of your life Introspection: honesty and trustworthiness is a sharp weapon for your competition Skill: the rule that you must pay attention to when you keep your promise
You can't be too honest If you can't control your life, you will be controlled by others. Understanding: being too honest is equal to your incompetence Introspection: stand up for your rights Skill: how honest people walk in the jungle
To give face to others is to give face to yourself You should treat others as you want them to treat you. Understanding: if you hurt people's face, you will suffer in the end Introspection: never hurt others' self-esteem Skill: how not to lose face easily
Don't be angry about trifles A good temper is the best dress a person can wear in society. Understanding: anger can make you do nothing well Introspection: learn not to be angry Skill: don't lose your temper easily
Superhuman spirit can help you achieve great things Those who will not tolerate do not deserve to be tolerated by others. Understanding: tolerance is your door to success Introspection: tolerance is a magic weapon for you to establish good interpersonal relationships Skill: how to become a person of great bearing?
Avoid expansion in life A proud man always destroys himself in pride Understanding: too strong desire will make it difficult for your career to develop Introspection: don't be arrogant Skill: give others room, even if you give yourself a chance
Don't care too much about other people's eyes Find yourself. Keep your color. Understanding: don't be the victim of other people's opinions, just be the free man in your heart Introspection: go your own way and let others talk Tip: no matter what happens, always keep your true colors
Extreme will go to Maicheng If we can control our thoughts, we can control our emotions Comprehension: you must not drill a bull's horn Introspection: extreme runs counter to success Skill: how to overcome extreme psychology
Leave room for everything Leave room for everything. Magnanimity can accommodate people. Comprehension: don't be too absolute Introspection: deal with the world in a round way and keep a hand in everything Technique: leave room for others
A little intolerance makes a big plan If you have a lot to do, you must bear it Insight: Patience gives you a chance Introspection: only by tolerating what ordinary people can't, can we achieve what ordinary people can't Skill: moderate tolerance
Loss is a blessing Understanding: you can only get if you give up. Take one step back and get close to a hundred steps Introspection: eat small losses and win big profits Skill: dare to suffer losses
Never be credulous Credulity is easily deceived, and doubt leads to truth Understanding: don't trust anyone around you easily Introspection: don't trust your intuition Skill: how to be not credulous?
Try to stand among the winners If you often act with people who are better than you. In terms of learning or life, this is the most beneficial. Learning to respect others properly is the greatest pleasure of life. Understanding: go to the place with the most winners Introspection: keep up with the winners Skill: grow with winners
Make a quick decision whether it's right or wrong Hesitant people will never find the best answer, because opportunities will be lost in the moment of hesitation Understanding: we should dare to make decisions in life Introspection: decisively win the first opportunity Tip: the secret of making a quick decision
Learn to refuse It's better to refuse frankly than to agree reluctantly Understanding: some things must be rejected Introspection: learn to refuse Skill: skillfully refuse learning
Wisdom is better hidden than exposed Brave as timid, wise as foolish. Understanding: pretending to be confused is your best coat in life Introspection: cleverly hide your strength Skill: if you are smart, you may harm yourself
Please leave a way for others. Worldly affairs are learned, and human experience is an article Understanding: human affection is accumulating your intangible wealth Introspection: skill your own humanity Skill: there is skill in giving benefits
It is necessary to guard against people. The heart of harming others cannot exist, and the heart of preventing others cannot be absent. Comprehension: be careful of the cold arrow behind you Introspection: don't offend villains Skill: how to get along with villains
Be flexible in making friends. Absence makes the heart grow fonder Insight: stay flexible with your friends Introspection: keep a proper distance from your colleagues Tip: how to keep a sense of propriety with your friends
Be grateful The kindness of a drop of water is rewarded by a gushing spring Understanding: gratitude makes your world full of love Introspection: always be grateful Skill: everyone should learn to be grateful
If you don't ask for perfection, blame. When water is clear, there is no fish, and when people observe, there is no apprentice. Understanding: demanding others is demanding yourself Introspection: be tolerant Tip: always blaming others will put you under siege
Grasp your contacts Among the many factors that affect a person's success, interpersonal relationship is far more important than his professional knowledge understand; Find someone to give you a hand Introspection: a clever way to win over people Skills: how to build good interpersonal relationships?
Be able to afford to lose Our greatest glory lies not in not failing once, but in standing up every time we fall. Comprehension: good at summarizing. You can rise from failure Introspection: it is the right way to endure defeat and win, and keep the clouds open and see the moon bright Tip: don't cry over spilled milk
If you want to achieve great things, you must be able to bend and stretch Like animals, when the situation is unfavorable, people should retreat temporarily and bend for extension, otherwise they will overturn and even perish. Understanding: being able to bend and stretch allows you to do things with ease Introspection: you should be able to bend and stretch Skill: great achievements can only be achieved if you can bend and stretch
Don't be surprised when doing things, be optimistic and flexible When your hopes fail one by one, you should be firm and calm! Understanding: calm makes you better than others Introspection: calm is the master Skill: respond to changes with invariance
Grasp the bottom line of the rules and don't lose big things for small things A gentleman keeps himself in line and waits for the arrangement of fate, while a villain specializes in risky things and wants to get undeserved benefits by luck Understanding: you can't be confused about the general meaning of the festival Introspection: grasp the discretion of doing things Skill: how to grasp the bottom line of life?
Don't show people the sharp weapon of victory The birth of disturbance is the ladder of words. If the monarch does not keep secret, he will lose his courtiers. If the courtiers do not keep secret, they will lose their lives. If the confidential things are not kept secret, they will cause disasters. Therefore, a gentleman is careful to keep secrets without divulging secrets Insight: divulging secrets will give you a fatal blow Introspection: don't pour out your thoughts to others Tip: keeping secrets for others is paving the way for yourself The sharp weapon of success is personality Personality power is important Understanding: let personality dominate your destiny Introspection: live your own personality Skill: how to create unique personality charm?
Be prepared for danger in times of peace Think of danger so as to seek peace, think about retreat so as to enter, fear chaos so as to protect governance, and abstain from death so as to survive. Understanding: crisis awareness is the guarantee of your continuous progress Introspection: take precautions in everything Skill: be a man with a sense of hardship Bacon said: "habit is really a tenacious and great force. It can dominate people's life. Therefore, people should cultivate a good habit through education." Carnegie said, "saving yourself by your own ability is the only criterion for success." "Ability has become an out and out resource. Ability is capital, ability is wealth and ability is destiny."

Is it just a matter of money to borrow money?

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Thu, 05 May 2022 14:30:12 GMT

I don't know when to start. I'm afraid that others will borrow money from me. No matter how much, whether I have it or not, I am more resistant to the feeling of being borrowed. This feeling is something that excludes moral friendship. Later, I watched a short film "borrowing money" on the Internet. After introspection, I found that borrowing money is not only a problem of money, but also a problem of people. The story of borrowing money This is a short film on the Internet, mainly about a story of borrowing money. Lao ye, the boss of an enterprise, has many so-called friends in business and life. As the saying goes, it is good to have many people and many friends. Lao Ye trusts and takes care of his friends. These friends greeted Lao ye with a smile and booed him. This makes Lao Ye feel that life is still very good, life is still very good, and friends are also very good. Until one day, one of his loyal secretaries signed Lao ye a project contract document and said a loyal word against his ears. "Mr. Ye, do you think about giving such a big project to other trustworthy people? I think these friends around you come for your money." Lao Ye's face changed as soon as he heard the Secretary's words. Lao Ye is a shrewd businessman. He knows it in his heart, but he is not willing to believe it. Since someone has proposed it to him, he wants to know the truth. So the secretary gave Lao Ye an idea - to borrow money. Lao Ye released the news that he had lost a lot of money in gambling, and the company was almost unable to run. So he went to borrow money from his friends who call him brothers on weekdays. He visited every family, borrowed money by phone, and even asked for debt from those who owe him money, but the result was the same. He didn't borrow a penny. As a result, employees have to resign, lovers have to break up, and friends have to avoid. He had to go home. Unexpectedly, his mother gave him years of savings. He was moved and filled with emotion. Borrow money once and get to know someone again. Are you in a situation where you can't borrow money? Have you ever borrowed money to meet others? Is it a matter of money or people who borrow money? Psychological significance of money There are several ancient Chinese sayings called "a gentleman loves money and takes it in a proper way", "a close brother knows how to settle accounts" and "it's easy to borrow and return, and it's not difficult to borrow again". It is clear and direct, but it also contains some principles. Money, economically speaking, is valuable. It is an equivalent exchange. You can use it to buy what you want. Sociologically speaking, money represents wealth and a certain social status. However, these are not the real explanation of "borrowing money", because money has its own psychological significance. Explain money from the perspective of psychology and find that money can not only cause people's positive emotions (freedom, love, security, etc.), but also cause negative emotions (distrust, failure, inadequacy, etc.). Therefore, for people, the psychosocial significance of money is far beyond its practical economic significance. "Gentlemen love money" shows that people pursue money, and what is the purpose of people's pursuit of money? It lies in the close psychological factors between people and money - purchasing power, sense of security, love and freedom. However, it is regrettable that people will have some performances such as hypocrisy, inconsistency and lying because of money, so it is not difficult to understand that they lie when borrowing money. Moreover, there is also an important relationship between people's attitude towards money and emotion. Compared with other aspects of life, money is second only to love and work. Therefore, in the process of interpersonal communication, people will be very open to themselves and others in terms of money, and have the habit of "close brothers and clear accounts". People often associate money with emotions, which are anxiety, depression, anger, helplessness, happiness, jealousy and so on. A psychological study on people's attitude towards money found that there are five key factors in people's psychological view of money:

Power and prestige, influence others with money, and regard money as a tool to measure success;
Save time and make a sound plan for the future economic situation;
Trust, maintain a skeptical and distrustful attitude towards things related to money;
Quality, I believe that money can be exchanged for relatively high-quality products and services;
Anxiety, money is not only a source of anxiety, but also a way to avoid anxiety. Therefore, generally speaking, people still pay more attention to their money. In this way, it is not difficult to understand the meaning of "it is easy to borrow and return, and it is not difficult to borrow again". I lend it to you on the basis of love. If you want to have money, please return it to me as soon as possible, because I am afraid of anxiety and need a sense of security in my heart. Attitude towards borrowing money First of all, look at Lao ye in the story of borrowing money. His false depression makes those who have a relationship with him stay away. Borrowing money is not only a matter of face, but also a matter of psychology. Like many people, Lao Ye won't find his parents at first, because he thinks he is always helped by such a friend. So brazenly looking for it one by one, the result is to hit the wall again and again, the heart is not the taste again and again, feeling the cold and warm of the world. Leaving aside the moral level, Lao Ye actually doesn't know much about the impact of money on people's psychology. The important feeling of money is security, because it can meet people's many psychological needs. He is in danger of bankruptcy. The first feeling is that I can repay the money I lent you? His situation gives people a sense of insecurity. Naturally, very few people are willing to borrow money. In addition, many people attach great importance to money, because they are more or less worried about lack of money at a certain stage, leaving a psychological shadow. In addition, now the lack of social integrity, people are in danger, and they have lost trust with each other. Lao ye can't borrow money. In this regard, the probability is very high. Because of borrowing money, Lao ye saw a lot of things and lost some things at the same time. So, how can we treat borrowing money with a correct attitude in our life? Many people have a lot of doubts because they don't borrow money, and they also have a series of troubles in their hearts. I have a good relationship with him. Why doesn't he lend it to me? Do you treat me as a friend? Don't you believe me? Then, I can't borrow it. I don't think this person is very good. I won't contact him again. Do you have such psychological changes? Borrow money. We need to treat it rationally, whether it's the borrower or the giver. If you can't borrow it, you're uncomfortable; You borrowed it. Others are uncomfortable. So how? First of all, we need to know, "it's love to borrow from you, but it's duty not to borrow.". If someone lends you money, be grateful because others don't owe you anything, so pay it back as soon as you have money. Make others trust you. If others don't lend you, and don't sigh about people's feelings or the state of the world, it's someone else's duty. Maybe it's inconvenient for him. Secondly, if others ask you to borrow money, you need to do what you can, according to the actual situation and your heart. If you have spare money and are willing to borrow it, borrow it. If you have spare money and don't want to, don't borrow it. Don't be bound by realistic morality. Don't make yourself and others feel bad. Moreover, money has a great impact on people in both practical and psychological sense. Between borrowing and returning, we should make it clear to each other and keep our word. Finally, I would like to remind you that money is closely related to people's emotions and emotions. Borrowing money has a great impact on the mood and emotion of both parties. So don't try to test or test the people around you by borrowing money, as your chances of suffering are very high. A gentleman's friend is as light as water. Don't lose anything else because of money. Maybe others can't borrow your money, but they help you elsewhere. You know, after all, this is a material society.

The characteristic of being cultured

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sun, 01 May 2022 14:40:50 GMT

1、 Punctuality. Whether it's meetings or appointments, educated people are never late. They know that even inadvertently being late is a sign of disrespect to others who arrive on time. 2、 Have a good conversation. Pay attention not to interrupt others' conversation casually. Always listen to the other party's speech first, and then refute or supplement the other party's views and opinions. 3、 Kind attitude. When talking with others, always look into each other's eyes and keep your attention focused; Instead of turning things, reading books and newspapers, absent-minded, showing an indifferent appearance. 4、 The tone is pertinent. Avoid loud noise, be calm and reasonable in dealing with people and things, and often achieve satisfactory results. Talking at the top of your voice can not achieve the desired purpose, but will affect the people around you and even make people hate. 5、 Pay attention to conversation skills. Respect the views and opinions of others. Even if you can't accept or clearly agree with others, you shouldn't accuse the other party of "nonsense", "nonsense" and so on in front of others. Instead, you should state your own opinions, analyze things and clarify the truth. 6、 No pride. When dealing with people, he never emphasizes his special side, nor does he intend to show his sense of superiority. 7、 Keep your promise. Don't break your promise even if you encounter some difficulties. If you talk about it yourself, you should try your best to complete it. Practicing it is the best promise. 8、 Care for others. Whenever and wherever, women, children and the elderly are always cared for and given the greatest care and convenience. 9、 Magnanimous. Get along with people with an open mind, and will not quarrel with friends and colleagues or even cut off contacts for a little thing. 10、 Compassionate. When others encounter some misfortune, try to give sympathy and support.

There are tricks in communication and life. These aspects are very important

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 14:45:55 GMT

Don't talk in depth For those who are not familiar at the beginning, we must control their enthusiasm and mouth, appropriately reserve and be cautious, especially for those who are familiar from home. Many of them are just out of habit enthusiasm and don't go astray at all. If they turn around, they may sell you. Be a low-key man and do things with a high profile Don't judge others by their character and morality. Do things with your own style, build your own reputation, don't waver easily, and don't talk about others behind their backs. At any time, remember to save face for each other Even if the other party is a fool and scolds 10000 times in his heart, he must be considerate when exporting. Remember to cultivate your core values Only if you are excellent and sincere, excellent people will naturally move closer to you. Don't be young, and your head is full of words such as contacts and management. Better people are not fools. People can see whether you are real or deliberately disguised. Whether friends or lovers, there must be a safe distance between them Everyone has a bottom line or taboo that others don't want to touch. Grow your brain and remember, don't flirt. Work, joke and talk in different places Stay with your elders, especially some traditional ones, try not to speak network language, and patiently teach them to use these electronic devices. It is best to talk about the positive aspects loved by your elders, such as health preservation, hard work and so on. Don't take others' kindness for granted In this world, except for your relatives, no one else has the obligation to treat you well. If you encounter kindness, please know how to cherish and be grateful. Learn to refuse appropriately You are not a universal steamed stuffed bun. You can be found everywhere. You have your own business. You must learn to firmly refuse excessive requests from others.

Never overestimate your contacts and skills

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 16:03:50 GMT

01 In the circle of friends, some people like to expose their contacts, "I know this online popularity", "those big guys, I have contact information", "I had dinner with so and so" The reason is that I got to know some big guys because of my work. People in large enterprises seem to easily feel that they have their own aura. Go out to talk about cooperation. When others hear that you belong to a certain company, they must serve you kindly. Because of the good platform and the high-quality contacts at work, a long time will unconsciously breed some redundant self-confidence. To put it bluntly, it is to mistake the dividends brought by the platform for their own ability. I studied journalism and communication and knew many girls working in the media. Some people ran interviews and often interviewed the founders, CEOs and vice presidents. These are bound to send a circle of friends, often with a few words similar to "full harvest". The CEO invited me to dinner. A girl took a selfie in someone else's car, wrote happiness and pride on her face, and sent a circle of friends to tell the people that "CEO XX is still driving me to dinner". In contrast, I admire the low-key and sober of an elder. Because of her work, she spent seven years interviewing first-line writers and contacting people on the rich list of writers, but she wrote such a paragraph to reflect on herself—— The nihilistic self-confidence brought by regular dialogue should be restrained. Setting off the light of others is just icing on the cake, but it can't illuminate your own way forward. Smart people clearly understand what are their abilities and what are the benefits brought by their platform. You think you know a big guy, but in the other party's heart, you're not Zhang Sanli Si, you're a reporter of a certain publication. Once you leave the service organization, you are just a passer-by with a vague face. For them, what matters is not you, but the platform you are on. 02 Many times, you are full of spring and everything goes well, not because of your strong ability, but because of your good platform. As an author who has written dozens of 100000 + posts, I'll tell you the simplest and crudest way to create a 100000 + Post - post the post on a million level large. On the mega scale, you can easily write "ha ha" in the full text for 100000 +. I worked as a new media editor in millions of large-scale enterprises and wrote a 100000 + article. I felt that I was gifted and superior in strength; As an interview reporter in financial magazine, I interviewed several cattle people. After close contact with big coffee, I feel so good about myself; Working in a public relations company, I feel like I have high-end contacts with an excel form of online Red Resources in my hand Although the analogy is a little exaggerated, but think about it carefully, there are really many people around. 03 I'm worried about leaving the company. I'm afraid I don't know many people at all. When you really want to leave, you can see clearly that the light on you before is the light given to you by the stage, not your own light. Some people left the company happily. With a lot of resources in hand, they ran happily to the company that opened 6k-7k more than the original company. As a result, they were taken away the contacts of the original company and set up the operation mode of the original company within three months. Next, they were of little value. Some people jumped out of the original company to start a business. Only then did they find that customers that were easy to get before now need to strive for; Relationships that didn't need to be maintained before now need to be maintained like walking on thin ice. Then I realized: it turns out that the real force is the platform, not you. 04 I saw a short article on the Internet about sun maocai in the TV series "Qiao family courtyard". He was originally poor and became a beggar. Later, he went to the Qiao family and made great contributions to the Qiao family's business. Sun maocai conceited that the Qiao family's business is booming, and he has made great contributions. Later, he was driven out of Qiao's house because of selfish desire. Sun maocai wanted to go to the rival Qian family. The Qian family said to sun maocai that you didn't make the Qiao family's business, but the Qiao family's business made you! Many people are often confused and mistakenly regard the resources of the platform as their ability, and mistakenly attribute the success of the platform to their ability. It was not until I left that I realized that I had blindly overestimated my strength before. What was powerful was not myself, but the original platform. Relying on the resources brought by the large platform, there is nothing to show off. After all, leaving this platform, what you have left is your real ability.

Maturity is not to know more, but to be able to accommodate differences

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sat, 23 Apr 2022 15:32:12 GMT

one A couple quarreled. One of them said, "honey, I'm lying." Is this a lie? If you say it's a lie, it's the truth; But if you want to tell the truth, it is also a true lie. This is the famous lie paradox. In other words, the world is sometimes composed of paradoxes. We believe in a certain point of view, often from another angle, the results will be very different. But in fact, two completely different conclusions may be correct. two When two people fall in love, immature people often make such mistakes: they always feel that they have great grievances. Why does the other party not understand me so much? The man who keeps saying he loves me doesn't understand himself at all?! In fact, the answer is very simple: men are from Mars and women are from Venus. They originally use different ways of thinking. One is to solve problems. Like firefighters, they expect to find the water gun as soon as possible, aim at the fire source and try to put out the fire; An expression that focuses on state and emotion is often catharsis itself, which is a solution. Mature lovers generally don't break the casserole and ask: why does the other party think so? Does his consideration show that he doesn't love me? Did she read too many romantic novels and why she likes making trouble so much We must know that love is not a science, nor is it an upgrade of the knowledge base, nor is it an upgrade of playing strange tricks and finding treasure. Love is an art of life. You can enjoy it even if you can't enjoy it for the time being. Sometimes all we need is more "blind" tolerance. Because on the way of love, we may meet all kinds of people. Different ways can be collusive, but there is no need to despise, attack or even hurt. Emotional maturity is not to know more love skills or master more royal heart sutras. But to understand each other sincerely, even if they have different views, they can seek common ground while reserving differences. Maturity is never just an intellectual upgrade, but also an emotional butterfly change. three When we were young, we all thought that the more we knew, the more we could distinguish between black and white. But in fact, when we really grow up, we should understand that there is no such clear-cut black and white in this world. In the eyes of different people, black and white are also different. Understanding the differences is the real maturity. In the workplace, why not? We often encounter colleagues who disagree with us or even have the opposite opinions. The most typical combination of contradictions is the marketing and sales team. After years of working in the workplace, I have been engaged in market-oriented work that focuses on spending money. There is almost a natural contradiction with the salesperson who focuses on selling goods to make money. They always complain openly and secretly that your marketing department is always spending money indiscriminately and can't see any effect in what you can do. We will think they are short-sighted and have no strategic vision. Some money is for long-term brand construction The solution is very simple, that is to know each other's position and accommodate each other's views. Even if I have never done sales, I know how it feels when you carry the sales volume every month. Therefore, truly mature professionals can hold their own position and accommodate the views of each other at the same time. Only in this way can we really persuade the other party and guide the other party to the common interests when necessary. If we take a step back, even if we fail, there will be no major conflict. four At the beginning of the little prince, the author drew a picture and asked many people what it was. People say it's a hat, but in fact, he painted a huge Python and was swallowing an elephant. However, whether it's a hat or a python, the answer is correct. In other words, in our hearts, if we can put hats and boa constrictors, cities and forests at the same time, we will naturally be more intelligent than others. As we all know, in life, conflicts are most likely to arise between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But one of my colleagues handled it very well, even better than her relationship with her mother. We were all curious about what she did. "There's nothing else," she said. "I don't know what my mother-in-law thinks. Sometimes I wonder about the way of thinking of her generation. But I believe there must be a layer of past reasons behind her doing something - we can't convince each other, but I'm more tolerant than her." Indeed, true maturity is not only to master more facts and understand more truth, but also to know that the other party will have its own reasons even if you don't know the other party. five I remember Fitzgerald, the author of the Great Gatsby, has a famous saying: "it is a sign of first-class wisdom to keep two completely opposite ideas and act normally at the same time." In other words, wise people are bound to be able to accommodate different or even diametrically opposite ideas, and then they can do things well. As the saying goes, "flowers bloom on both sides, and life is between Buddha and devil". The truth of the world is often the unity of positive and negative, and the integration of yin and Yang. When we understand this, we will not consider problems in an extreme way, nor will we be so childish as to fight people or even use a knife to kill them. Generally speaking, whether it's love, work or life, the real maturity is not how much you understand the big truth, but how many small contradictions you understand; It's not how many like-minded people you have made, but how many different people you have accepted If everyone's growth is destined to have a price, what I hope most is that after all the costs, we can exchange for a real sense of maturity.

Don't use favors for things that can be solved by sending red envelopes

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Wed, 20 Apr 2022 15:26:26 GMT

Some of the students were canvassing for votes, but they talked a lot, but almost nobody paid attention to them. After a while, the canvassers sent a red envelope, and soon everyone replied "voted" in the group. I understand. Because everyone is annoyed by this kind of thing. Help cast a vote today and praise it tomorrow. Over time, everyone is really bored. But at this time, a red envelope is different. No matter how big or small, it is always a heart. If there is nothing to say, it always makes people feel very cheap, and afterwards, the person who asks for help seems to feel too simple and ungrateful. To put it bluntly, it's a matter that can be solved by sending a red envelope, but it has to bother others with human feelings. I have heard an analogy that human relations are like deposits in a bank. The human feelings we save will be spent one by one in our life, and we continue to "save" and maintain a dynamic balance. However, in life, there will always be some people who unconsciously overdraw their human feelings. one Xiao Zhang in the unit was originally very popular and popular, but recently everyone seems to be avoiding him. In private, it turns out that Xiao Zhang always likes to trouble others. Over time, no one can stand it. Xiao Zhang's mantra is "I have something to go out now. Can I trouble you..." "I don't want to go shopping today. Can you help me..." "I'm not good at Photoshop. Can you help me get a picture..." Wait, at first, it was acceptable for everyone to help others, but after a period of time, no one was willing to help him. Some colleagues complained that they helped him repair several pictures and take out more than a dozen times. Many people even began to alienate and dislike him. People are mutual, and only human exchanges can make friendship lasting. No one can stand the long-term unilateral payment. Xiao Zhang always bothers others in the name of colleagues and friendship, which is tantamount to blindly asking for money. Just like the deposit in the bank is only withdrawn but not deposited, he will overdraw one day. two Some people say that it's too material for friends to pay attention to human exchanges? Is this really friendship? My friend Lao Li's son is in high school, but his academic performance is not very good. He wants me to coach his son for a period of time. Soon, his son slowly adapted to high school and his grades improved. Afterwards, Lao Li expressed his gratitude to me and insisted on giving me a sum of money in my account. After a rough calculation, it was almost the same as the price of external counseling institutions. I refused to say that there is no need to talk about money when friends help. Lao Li said: "it is nothing more than talking about money between friends. First of all, friends are equal and independent. You should be paid for helping me delay my own affairs. This is mutual respect between friends." Even if friends are good at one thing, why do others unconditionally help you? Even if it's just a small effort, why should others sacrifice their time to do things for you? Even if you are happy to help others, why should others bother you again and again? three I have a cousin who worked in an organ and unit in the early years and finally became the section chief. However, because of one thing, he was criticized and punished by the superior leaders. A few years ago, his son was going to high school. In order to pay a few hundred yuan less for class change, he entrusted a friend with his relationship. This friend had been deducted points for traffic violations before and went to my cousin. At that time, my cousin helped deal with it because of his kindness. This time, when his son was about to go to school, he remembered that his friend happened to be in the education department, and it was reasonable for him to be human, so he asked for help. As a result, the French Open was broad and careless, and this matter was reported. The more people feel at ease when enjoying the help of their friends, the more they should guard against being blinded by their own reason. The benefit is not small, but the harm is stopped. If you come out to mix, you will pay it back sooner or later. In fact, most of the so-called problems can be solved by themselves, but driven by selfishness, people are willing to trouble others. The more money you have, the more you can't repay it. But the more money you have, the more you can't repay it.

Learn to praise others appropriately

0x2688280050c457dbaf2218d5b093a47769879787@newsletter.paragraph.com (机不可失) — Sun, 17 Apr 2022 15:39:01 GMT

Yat bauchihua once wrote such an article: A few days ago, a friend and I took a taxi in New York. When we got off the bus, my friend said to the driver, "thank you. It's very comfortable to take your car." The driver was stunned and said, "are you a gangster?" "No, Mr. driver, I'm not making fun of you. I admire you for being calm in traffic chaos." "Yes!" The driver said that and drove away. "Why do you say that?" I asked puzzled. "I want New York to be more human," he replied. "Only in this way can the city be saved." "How can you do it alone?" "I'm just taking the lead. I believe a small compliment can make the driver happy all day. If he carries 20 passengers today, he will be kind to these 20 passengers, and these passengers will be kind to the people around him if they are infected by the driver. In this way, my kindness can be indirectly conveyed to more than 1000 people, isn't it good?" "But how can you hope that the taxi driver will do what you want?" "I don't want him," the friend replied. "I know this kind of practice can't be met, so I try to be kind to people and praise others as much as possible. Even if the success rate of one day is only 30%, it can still affect as many as 300 people." "I admit that this theory sounds good, but how much practical effect can it have?" "Even if it doesn't work, I'll lose nothing! It won't take me a few seconds to praise the driver, and he won't take a few less tips. If the man is indifferent, it doesn't matter. I can praise another taxi driver tomorrow!" "I think you're a little naive." "From this, we can see that you are becoming more and more indifferent. I have investigated the employees of the post office. In addition to the low salary, they are most frustrated by the lack of recognition of their work." "But their service is really bad!" "That's because they think no one cares about the quality of their service. Why don't we give them more encouragement?" We talked as we walked through a construction site where five workers were having lunch. My friend stopped, "this building is very well built. Your work must be dangerous and hard?" The workers looked at my friend suspiciously. "When will the project be completed?" My friend continued. "June." A worker whispered. "You must be very proud of such excellent results." After leaving the construction site, I said to him, "people like you can also be listed as endangered animals." "These people may work harder because of my sentence, which is a good thing for all people?" "But what's the use of relying on you alone? You're just a commoner." "I often tell myself that I must not be discouraged. It is not a simple thing to make this society more affectionate. I can influence one, two, two..." "The woman who just passed by is mediocre. Do you still smile at her?" I interjected. "Yes! I know," he replied. "If she were a teacher, I think the people in her class today would be like spring breeze." It is a person's charm to learn to appreciate others and share the joy of success with others. Good qualities such as tolerance, generosity, tolerance and humility, compatibility and kindness all come from appreciating others. Darren is a person who knows how to use praise to communicate with others. Once, at a meeting of the company, a colleague presented a report. His report was ordinary, and there was no applause at the scene. After the meeting, Darren met the colleague. He said to the colleague, "your report just now is very good, simple and concise, and I appreciate it!" The colleague didn't expect his report to get anyone's attention, but Darren's words made him happy all day. Everyone who knows Darren will soon establish a friendship with him. It is conceivable that Darren gets on well with everyone in the company, and this good popularity has brought him a lot of convenience. Praise, praise for beauty, praise for beauty. Don't let praise be hard to open. You should speak out boldly, and you will get more friendship and popularity. Mark Twain said: a word of praise can be my food for ten days. In life, everyone needs praise and affirmation from others. Praise is actually a melting agent in interpersonal communication. A word of praise made what could not have been done and stopped what could not have been stopped. Praising others does not belittle themselves, but elevate themselves. Think about it, is there anything in life that praises others in exchange for others' contempt for themselves? Of course, the praise should be appropriate and should not go too far. Going too far will become hypocrisy. It will not only lose the trust of others, but also make people feel that this person is flattering and unreliable. For example, some students say, "your handwriting is very good." The classmate didn't write well, so he hated others talking about his font. When he heard this, he was annoyed It's hypocritical of her to say so because she knows you're asking for her. Proper praise is an indispensable language art in interpersonal communication. As Goethe said, "praising others is to put yourself on the same level as others." However, excessive praise is hypocritical. Therefore, the ancients said that "the words of praising people are too indiscriminate". It's not easy to praise people. Proper praise is just like the lubricant in interpersonal relationships, which can make people harmonious and in a good mood; while sarcastic compliments make people despise you. In the communication between people, properly praising each other can always create a warm, friendly, positive and sincere communication atmosphere. This is because winning the praise of others is an instinctive need of mankind. It is in the praise of others that people realize the value of their existence. Secondly, praise can promote each other to form a good code of conduct, which is conducive to the positive development of mutual communication. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said, "if you want someone to have such advantages, praise him so!" In addition, properly praising each other can naturally win the same friendly return from each other. Warm and friendly praise can always exchange the same attitude of the other party, so as to give a green light for mutual communication. In interpersonal communication, be good at praise, then you will become a compassionate, reasonable and attractive person.