二头肌

Excellence is not a surprise, but a habit

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 14:32:31 GMT

Excellence is not a surprise, but a habit. Good habits are very important, which is an attitude to life. Now the housing market is depressed, and many people's houses are on the market and cannot be sold after the new year. Our neighbor sold her house after 21 days of listing, and it was sold at her asking price without losing a penny. This is simply a small miracle. What the hell is going on? It doesn't rule out that some people are eager to be my neighbors when they see the virtuous ones, and their mother moved three times. They can't wait to become my neighbors. It may also be that the neighbors are lucky. But as the saying goes: the harder you work, the better your luck. The neighbor is a single mother, living with a son and a daughter. My son got married and had a child before he finished high school. It's true to say that the independence of American youth is not empty. Seeing a family of three living at home, the mother kicked them all out and let them live by themselves, only occasionally letting them come back to visit. In this way, many contradictions have been reduced. Chinese people often say how lucky it is to have three generations together. Only when you are in it can you know what it is like. I am more and more able to accept the relationship between brothers and clear accounts in the United States. Don't say it's impersonal. In fact, it's impersonal, because you let people run their own lives independently, leave their own living space and privacy, and have clear boundaries to advance and retreat freely. Our biggest problem is unclear. When it comes to iron, say what you and I share with each other. When you turn your face, you will find out all kinds of problems, such as gratitude, resentment and debt, interests and gains and losses. Why don't you learn to be a villain before a gentleman, and let good fences make good neighbors. The conflict between Palestine and Israel, the conflict between India and Pakistan, the war on Treasure Island, the South China Sea dispute, the McMahon line, the 38th parallel, and most wars in the world are related to unclear boundaries. After the son's family of three kicked out, the neighbor lived with her daughter. Her daughter is in high school. Children of this age usually have more things to do. When I first came here three years ago, my neighbor said: sorry, our two teenagers, if they quarrel with you in the future, just tell me. Later, I found out that these two people didn't cause us any trouble at all. The neighbor's daughter also showed us children for a period of time. When the neighbor ran out on vacation, he came specially and left his phone and email, saying that if we saw that the children were too noisy and there were too many people, we should call her immediately. I later thought that this was also a responsible behavior, because I was afraid that once I left, there would be no tigers in the mountains for the two children, and the monkeys would be called overlords and disturb the neighbors at a party. Warn me in advance so that we won't be surprised by this situation and then rebound strongly. By the way, living in the United States, if you know in advance that your home is a noisy treat, you'd better say hello to your neighbors in advance, so as not to surprise people and then get angry. Pick up the phone and dial 911. Because her neighbors are usually very sensitive to getting along with their neighbors, she has a good relationship with them. When people buy a house, they ask around, and everyone will say good things about her. Although it seems strange to be far away from their relatives and close to their neighbors, in fact, this is "clear". (inspirational quotes www.lz13.cn) for your son, when it's time to let go, let him go out and live by himself, don't let him destroy the family atmosphere, and let everyone have their own life and be responsible for themselves. In the long run, it is a kind of help. This single parent's mother is very capable. I often see her cleaning the grass and watering when I come home from work. Her home is always green with grass, and the flower bed at the door is always in bloom in all seasons. Once the season changes and the previous flowers die, she immediately changes into new flowers and plants. She worked in a brick factory, so she also wholesale some bricks and built a swimming pool by herself. I went to borrow things several times and inadvertently walked into her house. I found that the house was also clean and meticulous. In this way, she often apologized and said chaos. I looked around and didn't see where the chaos was. It seemed that she had too high requirements for herself, so she still said chaos. Coming out of our culture, it's better to face one set before another. Many Chinese families are careless about their environment, don't take their relationship with the environment seriously, and often try to clean up before guests arrive. And the house is often easier to clean up, and the more you don't clean up, the harder it is to clean up. If you don't sweep a house at ordinary times, don't say sweeping the world at that time. It's difficult to sweep this house back. The house has been sold and will be moved soon. But what's interesting is that every day I see her still watering when it's time, mowing when it's time, and cleaning up cleanly, not because someone else wants to take over right away. I once saw the title of a book called "excellence is a habit", which I fully agree with. Excellence is not a surprise, but a habit. The neighbor next door can maintain her environment like this. She doesn't want to pick up when she wants to sell the house, but always keeps the habit of being neat and orderly. Whenever someone comes to see the house, her house is kept in the best state. She works in a brick factory. She is also a single mother. The pressure of life is as great as it is. She can maintain her home like this. It can be seen that the art of life has little to do with material conditions, but more to do with our understanding of life.

How to be the best of yourself?

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sat, 16 Jul 2022 15:19:01 GMT

Now I think that a successful life is not about achieving some ambitious or realistic goals you set up, such as establishing a company, how much money you earn, having a good family, having an enviable job, making others respect and recognize you, such as Two days ago, I chatted with a parent who shared many educational ideas with me. She said she hoped that in the future, her daughter could decide what she wanted to learn, what she wanted to do and what kind of person she wanted to be, instead of doing it according to the wishes of parents or others. So I talked about Montessori's educational idea, saying that the real greatness of this idea is to let every different child grow up freely as they should. I gave an example. For example, if the child is a radish seed, he should strive to grow freely into the best radish he can grow. If the child is a vegetable seed, he should grow into the best vegetable he can grow! Remember, it's not the best radish and vegetable, but the best radish and vegetable he can grow. He doesn't need to make the best radish and vegetable in the world. He just needs to realize himself perfectly, and he doesn't have to compare with others! Instead, no matter whether he is a radish seed or a vegetable seed, he must grow into a shape, and he must grow into a tomato! Due to the influence of growth environment, culture and history, we blindly pursue some ready-made goals that seem to have been established in a distant place: work, money, house, family, circle of friends, status, reputation... In order to achieve that or distant or superior goal, we do not hesitate to sacrifice our happiness, sacrifice our hearts, and even sacrifice some human nature. Who is listening to the call of his heart? Who knows what his heart desires? We need to grow as we wish, not as others wish. We need to do what our hearts desire, not what others think you desire. To put it simply, do something that makes you happy. I think of Ice Prince Raikkonen, the idol in F1 racing. The year before last or last year, he resolutely gave up the eye-catching F1 race at its peak, resolutely left the fans who loved him, and chose to participate in that low-level car race. Many car fans feel extremely regretful, but Raikkonen's face is no longer cold as Prince ice used to, but full of a sunny smile. He said: why should I live as you think? Every child and every adult should ask themselves this sentence. Live yourself, not what others think you should do. Listen to your inner call, find what your heart desires, and then try to live as you should have been. If you are a cabbage, make yourself the best cabbage you can be. Only in this way can you be happy, be yourself, and be successful in life. So if you don't understand, I'll be wordy again. If you are a cabbage, but grow into the best radish in the world as people expect you to, your life will not be a successful life. Just like those people who are eager to be transgender, a boy who thinks he is a girl, or a boy who is eager to be a girl, even if he is the most successful man, such as the president of the United States, or the most successful husband, his heart will not feel really happy. Therefore, whether your life is successful or not is not up to others' the final say, but your own the final say. Your heart is your master!!! After many years, I finally came back to the Indian philosopher's words that I admire very much. The farthest journey is to stay in place.

Everyone needs to have a time "bottom line"

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sat, 09 Jul 2022 11:01:48 GMT

There is one thing at hand, the time is a week, so the first five days must be busy. From the sixth day, it was put on the agenda. The time was tight, but people acted vigorously, as if suddenly there was a motivation. You should write something in the evening and hand it in before going to bed at the latest. Then from 10:30 after dinner, you must chat, check your mailbox, drink tea, and even do nothing. You can sit upright from 11 o'clock and work until a few o'clock, but you can always finish it. Generally speaking, the effect is good. I'm going to the bank today. Well, I won't go early in the morning. On the contrary, when all kinds of unimportant things are handled, I will go out at about 4:30. I'm in a hurry, as if I'm fighting with time. Before, time was here, and it was useless and was almost thrown into the garbage can. As long as there is time, the task will automatically expand until all the time is used up. This is what "Parkinson's law" tells us. isn't it? The time spent doing the same thing may vary greatly: you can finish reading a newspaper in 15 minutes or half a day; You can do 10 things a day, or just one thing at leisure; Your paper is required to be completed in 5 months, and you can finish it in 5 days; What do you need to do in a year? You may forget it before the last month I believe most people have a similar experience, like a spring, suddenly tighten, and then suddenly relax. We seem to be used to keeping our best flexibility, so we have been pulling until we can't pull any more. Let go, and then be crisp and let this thing come to an end. Next time, continue. My friend said that my husband is the most typical one. You will never see how busy he is tonight before 11 p.m. For example, there is a project to be held tomorrow, and the report has not been written. Before 11 o'clock, he will happily play games, watch the news, even watch TV dramas, and repair toys for his daughter. You let him do the most trivial and irrelevant thing, which is more refreshing than urging him to "go to work and go to bed early". One day, he finally wanted to change. He sat in front of the computer at more than 9 o'clock and dawdled into the state. Everything was finished before 12 o'clock. Then, trouble came. Lying in bed, he couldn't sleep at all! So, get up and do the things to kill time before. I also have many friends who don't work until the last minute. It is said that the group that wrote the manuscript also set up a "non dead line non writing group", and the number of people joining is increasing. If you urged them before, you would have great distrust of them. After a long time, everyone acquiesced to this strange theory: you know that things are particularly important, but you still can't finish it at the first time. On the contrary, it seems that you can't finish it until you put it last. In fact, everyone knows "time management": the first thing to do should be important and urgent things, such as finishing work on time, going to the bank to repay the loan, and dealing with some difficult people; Then do something important but not urgent, such as buying a plan in the near future, learning something, going to meet friends somewhere; Then there are urgent but unimportant things, such as unexpected guests, sudden calls; Finally, there are things that are neither urgent nor important, such as gossip, emails, TV dramas, etc. However, the order of one, two, three, four was reversed to four, three, two, one. It's no big problem to say, but it's just a personal habit. Moreover, it is usually because you know your ability range that you have confidence. Just put it aside and remember to pick it up at the last moment. Only occasionally, something goes wrong. Once, a partner had a situation. When apologizing, he told me, "I'm a very insensitive person in terms of internal time, and I hope to be urged by external time". The reason is quite strange. Her friend's husband often suffered the consequences of her own death. Sometimes she woke up at threeorfour o'clock after a deep sleep and saw that the light was still on in the living room. Some friends complain that they put things down for a certain period of time, and as a result, things accumulate more and more, just like a mess. Pulling it away consumes not only time, but also mood. So, when you always feel that there is not enough time for many things, when you are always too tired to catch, when you always see that others are relaxed but you are in a mess, it is recommended to tidy up. Is it true that there are many things, or do you press it into a lot? If there are a lot of them, there is nothing to say, just do the same thing; If you create it yourself, you can only find the way from yourself, and no one can help you. When you have an idea to put down a thing, first look at the reason why you put it down. Is it to kill time or do a more important thing? What is the price for you to put it down? If there is no cost, it is also a good thing to steal time. If it is more troublesome, such as squeezing out a piece of it in a possibly more crowded time, I advise you not to take this risk. Just like the original train, the space and passengers are in place. It's good to have to leave the front carriage empty, and the last carriage is full of passengers. This is not asking for trouble!

What we lack is not opportunities, but the grasp of opportunities

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Mon, 04 Jul 2022 14:54:02 GMT

In this world that regards turning back as weakness and disgrace. No matter how far you go, you can't achieve what you want forever. No matter how close you are, you will never get back to your dream. People are always a group of creatures enslaved by inner regrets and visions. They are caught in the one-way street of life and cannot go far or go back. There is no bad knowledge, only bad knowledge; There is nothing bad to do, only something bad to do. There is no bad habit that cannot be changed, only an attitude that is unwilling to correct; There is no threshold that can't collapse, only legs that can't stand up. Work should be as warm as red, neighbors need to be as warm as blue, love should be as charming as pink, life should be as pure as white, the environment should be as environmentally friendly as green, life should be as colorful as clouds, and life should be as gorgeous as flowers. If you want to learn more, please work harder; If you want to be more dignified, please be stronger; If you want to be proud, please try harder; If you want to be healthier, please be more environmentally friendly; If you want to live longer, please be relieved. To retain youth, the best way is to always maintain a young mentality; The best way to keep healthy is to keep exercising; To maintain a happy mood, the best way is to help others; The best way to ensure that you don't make mistakes is to think twice. What we lack is not opportunities, but the grasp of opportunities; What we lack is not wealth, but the ability to create wealth; What we lack is not knowledge, but an attitude of never getting tired of learning; What we lack is not ideal, but practice. If you want to become famous quickly, you have to sleep slowly; If you want to grow wisdom quickly, you have to be slow and proud. If you want to age slowly, you have to study quickly; If you want to eliminate slowly, you have to move quickly. If you can take things as exercise, busyness as enjoyment, frustration as growth, loss as gain, misfortune as nightmare, success as the past, then your life will feel very relieved and comfortable! Maybe, there will never be that day, and the future will be as gorgeous as the morning glow; Perhaps, there will never be a day when success is as brilliant as a lamp; Maybe it can only be like this. Climbing but not reaching the peak; Maybe it can only run like this, but it can't lift waves. Ordinary work should be completed with an extraordinary attitude, simple problems should be decided with comprehensive thinking, today's things should be examined with the eyes of the future, and distant ideals should be realized with practical efforts. Life can be without fish, but not without creativity; Learning can be without pen and paper, but it cannot be without thinking; You can make friends without alcohol and tobacco, but you can't make friends without sincerity; Making money can be without profit, but it can't be without conscience. The green mountains in the distance are dense in the swirling smoke, which reminds people of the poetic, picturesque, song like paradise. The drifting fishing boats have long disappeared on the smoky River, and my thoughts are still immersed in the situation of "green Ruo hats, green coir raincoats, no return in the gentle wind and rain", and I don't want to go out. Happiness is as simple as this: drink a cup of tea to moisten your throat when you are thirsty, chat with your friends when you are bored, buy a bread to fill your stomach when you are hungry, listen to music when you are worried, relax, lie back in your chair and take a nap when you are tired, and take a walk in the park when you are frustrated.

Mentality is the compass of life

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 18:11:13 GMT

If a person wants to succeed, he must first know his own invisible amulet. Everyone has an amulet, and this amulet has two sides, one is a positive attitude, and the other is a negative attitude. If you have a successful attitude, you will think that you have the ability to succeed, and you will think from the bottom of your heart that you can succeed in any aspect as long as you make your own efforts. Therefore, don't give up the action of pursuing success because of your poor conditions. As long as we can make good use of our positive attitude, you will have the energy to struggle and achieve success. As a child, Roosevelt was a timid and mentally fragile little boy. If he is called to recite the text at school, he will immediately show symptoms such as trembling legs and trembling lips, and his answer is vague. Therefore, there was always a frightened expression on his face, and even his breathing became like panting. If this happens to other children, the child will be very sensitive in the bottom of his heart and avoid any collective activities. His temperament will become very withdrawn, he doesn't like making friends, and he will become a person who nobody cares about. When Roosevelt realized the seriousness of the problem, he was determined to change the situation. At ordinary times, he deliberately seized every opportunity to exercise himself. It is precisely because he has always maintained such a positive attitude that finally inspired his spirit of struggle. A man's shortcomings prompted him to work harder. Roosevelt was just such a man. He did not lose his courage because of the ridicule of his companions. On the contrary, he turned his breathing habit into a firm hissing sound. He bit his lips with his teeth so that it did not vibrate, thus overcoming his timidity and fear. That is, this spirit of struggle. Finally, he became a great president of the United States. Roosevelt did not give up his pursuit because he had so many defects. Instead, he made good use of his defects to become an invisible capital, and finally reached the peak of success and became the first and most popular president of the United States. It was a good mentality that kept Roosevelt from falling into the quagmire of self pity. As the French writer Hugo said, "nothing is as powerful as a timely idea." People with a positive attitude are always looking for the best new ideas, which can increase the success potential of people with a positive attitude. Carnegie, an American billionaire and industrialist, said: "a person who has complete control over his heart will also have control over anything else he has the right to obtain." Therefore, to obtain a good psychological state and seek a psychological balance, it is very important to always maintain the mentality of a successful person and set yourself as a successful person. In this way, you will give full play to your great enthusiasm and confidence to face all kinds of difficulties and obstacles on the way forward. Although you haven't succeeded yet, this self-made psychological sense of achievement will make you move towards the goal of success.

There is nothing more justifiable than trying to make money

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 15:04:47 GMT

When masu and konglinghui broke up, I was really sad for a while. I hope this is a rumor. Soon they will appear in front of the camera hand in hand and politely refute the rumor. Later, masu confessed that his 11 year love affair with Kong Linghui had ended. In front of the camera, she cried and said, "I have lived alone for a long time..." my heart began to cry. I haven't seen a few of Ma Su's TV dramas, and I don't think she is an actress as beautiful as heaven. I fell in love with her purely because of the Ma family village story I read a few years ago. At that time, she had not become the shrewd and witty little daughter-in-law on the screen. A poor student fell in love with a Grand Slam champion driving a Porsche. Although she had a rising prosperity, her self-esteem was inevitably hurt in the face of each other's sense of superiority. After a heated argument, Ma Su, who left her boyfriend's house angrily with a suitcase, vowed to earn her own house so that she would not wander the streets in the bleak night. She tried her best to accept the play. She could only play small roles. The film pay was not high. She did not dare to participate in the classmate's meeting. She was reluctant to buy a bottle of Lancome. She put every penny she saved into the down payment of an apartment and did not accept any relief from her boyfriend. When she opened her eyes every day, she had a 600 yuan mortgage waiting for her. She had no money to decorate and could only move a piece of furniture home every few months. When she can finally move in, masu has worked hard for the house for six years. She has put up a sign on the gate, which says "Majiazhuang", which is a base area in love that can be attacked and defended. No one will order her to leave again. That was the first time I realized how much glory and dignity a woman can bring to herself by her determination and ability to make money. This stubborn and self respecting girl completely subverted the sentence "there is nothing more justifiable than poverty in her twenties" - for a woman, there is nothing more justifiable than trying to make money in her twenties. A few days ago, I chatted with a friend who was about to get married. She sighed and said that her boyfriend's family had made a down payment for a two bedroom house, and the rest of the loan was paid by the young couple together. However, her husband insisted that only his son's name should be written on the house property certificate. My friend was so angry that he even considered delaying his marriage. "What's the difference between this and paying the landlord's rent every month for renting a house all his life At last, she said word for word: "nothing is better than having money." The traditional education we have received does not require much of girls. Knowing books, being reasonable, being honest, and being industrious and thrifty probably constitute all the virtues of a girl. No one has taught us that after entering the cruel adult world, girls must be self reliant to ensure that there is enough balance in the bank card and cannot be completely dependent on men for money. Once the two people are separated, in addition to a lot of love, there is still a lot of money left, so as not to cause a complete spiritual and material collapse. So when we grew up, we became simple and kind-hearted silly girls. We listened to the words of love. We were willing to stay at home to wash and cook. We didn't dare to let each other work too hard. We held a calculator and asked ourselves if we could save a little more. Until the day we parted, such a good aunt had nowhere to go with her suitcase. Standing in the crowd, she found that the expensive ice cream shop on the street had never bought it for herself since she fell in love. Some people may say that you can find a man who doesn't have to work hard. There is a luxurious house covering several mu. The housework is taken care of by the nanny. There is a driver to pick you up when you go out. There is no overdraft limit on the credit card. Even if you break up, you can get a good compensation. But dear, you should remember that any love related to money will not last long. As long as a man can buy a woman with money, he will not give her too much respect. A woman's hard-earned money accumulated in her bank account is her dignity and freedom in love. The first year I was in New Zealand was the most wandering day in my more than 20 years of life. I have changed five jobs and moved away from my residence eight times. I have been in financial difficulties. I dare not go shopping and do not go to dinner. I fill my stomach with meals every day. The ten yuan kettle in my family is broken and I am not willing to buy a new one, so that I can save every sum of money into the tuition account. When I was working in a bar, an obscene man appeared at the bar. The alcohol made his fat body ready to move. He made an ambiguous request and was willing to help me pay all my tuition fees. The night was bleak and the lights were sad. His big Mercedes stopped at the door. The dazzling sign poked into my heart. At that time, I had only one idea in my heart. I must have money, mom. That picture, which has been remembered so far, can make me jump up to work with hatred. That year, I forced myself to work hard. The school had a two-month holiday. I was the only Chinese student around me who didn't go home. I worked three jobs when I was busiest. I slept only five hours a day. Before dawn in the morning, I have to get up and walk for 40 minutes to work in the supermarket. I wear snow shoes, wear three pairs of socks, and cover my face with a scarf. I walk uphill in the cold and humid winter in Oakland. Only the big "m" of McDonald's is shining in the whole street, which is the rising sun for me in the dark. After work at six o'clock, I went to the Chinese restaurant to clean up the leftover food on the dining table and pick up the children's snot paper. At night, I appeared in the empty office building, carrying a heavy vacuum cleaner, standing in front of the huge French window, staring at the night view of the whole city. Later, even my friends joked with me and said, "every time I feel tired and don't want to go to work, I think about you, and I will be motivated immediately." That year, I found that making money could also become a very happy thing. I watched the figures in the bank account go up bit by bit. Although it was hard, as long as I had a goal in mind, I always had a way to adhere to it. At that time, most of the colleagues who worked together were old enough to talk about marriage, and they liked to discuss the topic of men and money. I remember a girl with some flirtatious looks, with an experienced tone, quietly told us: "men are shameless. You must find a way to get some money from him and leave without regret..." however, have you ever thought about it, When you swipe around with your boyfriend's credit card smartly, will your man say to his brother at the wine table with a smoke ring in another place: "women are shameless. Everyone wants to cheat some money from me..." I never deny the beauty of money, but I don't envy those girls who go to the LV store to get the latest handbag with their boyfriend's arm. I also don't look at the girls who can buy a beetle by flirting with their boyfriend and lament that their fate is unfair, and I don't go all out to show kindness because a man has unlimited money. I love money. I love clean money with a little sense of sureness and hard work. When I date a man, I can grab a bill and say "I'll pay" gracefully. When I'm sad, I can go to the most expensive restaurant to have a big meal without having to haggle over the price on the menu, It can also make me still able to live in a house with two bedrooms and one living room after being lovelorn, and transform the garage into a dream studio... This is the money I earn, and it is also a dignity and freedom I exchange with my efforts. I don't have to bow my head in love, and I won't lose myself because of losing love. A man can be someone else's, but his wallet must be his own. Please remember this sentence.

If you can't be a master, be a craftsman

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Mon, 06 Jun 2022 15:55:10 GMT

When I was asked "what kind of person do you want to be" when I was a child, there were various answers: well-known writers, top artists, and famous scientists. In a word, we all want to be an outstanding figure in a certain field in our lifetime, or make ourselves remember history through inventions, or make ourselves immortal through subversion of concepts. In short, "master" is the position we dreamed of when we were young. However, when we see the cruelty of reality and our own limitations, and our hopes of becoming a master are gradually disillusioned, we must not "become" a craftsman and work hard for daily necessities like all living beings. I remember having lunch with my colleagues during my internship, I mentioned the difference between "master" and "craftsman", and our views are also different: Someone said, "the master asks questions, but the craftsman solves them." If you can't be a master, be a craftsman Some people say: "the master is obsessed with the world outlook, while the craftsman is rigidly bound by methodology." What our creative director said is still fresh in my memory: "masters have endured unbearable pain and forbearance, and are willing to sacrifice something important to ordinary people. Behind their dazzling aura, there are choices we can't understand. In fact, as long as they dare to give up and sacrifice, even ordinary people have a great chance to become masters." On reflection, the truth is true. In addition to the innate talent and once-in-a-lifetime inspiration, the origins and experiences of the masters are also worth pondering. Those masters who are worshipped as gods, or those who come from rich families with great wealth, are naturally willing to devote their lives to the supreme cause without worrying about the cost of food and clothing; Or have a smooth journey, do not toss and turn for the future fame and wealth, will naturally devote themselves to the cause they love; Or experience ups and downs of life, have already washed away the lead, and naturally willing to pursue unremittingly for faith. To sum up, the things we strive to pursue are either born or regarded as dirt. The general public, however, has neither the birth that everyone admires nor the awareness to see through everything. "Striving to climb to a higher place" has become the main melody of our life. Ask yourself, if we can't refuse the fame and wealth that come naturally, the sensual love that comes from it, the love of men and women in the secular bridge, all forms of communication and sharing, and even the circle of friends that we refuse for a week, then why should we become a master? Since you can't refuse, you can pursue it calmly. After all, no one will point out the fame and wealth gained by hard work. After talking about the attitude towards fame and wealth, let's talk about talent. I have worshipped many copywriters, but one day, I clearly realize that I can't be such a person. My imitation of xushunying often degenerates into a parody of ZTE department store. I can't play with the concepts of Murakami card like lixinpin, nor can I work with sun shaotuan to combine feelings and real estate to the top, nor can I create a concept as playful as life and ruffian as Neil French. I know very well that I have no talent. No matter whether this talent is gifted or nurtured, in short, it can not be readily available in this life. However, this has not destroyed my love for copywriting, but unlike in the past, my goal has changed from "becoming a master" to "being a good craftsman". I know that my work will never reach the podium in Cannes, and my name will never be recorded in the history of advertising. But at least I can try to cooperate with the designer sincerely, instead of being treated coldly as a pig teammate. I can ensure that my works are free from typos and that the words are fluent, so that customers can read them fluently. I can pursue my insight, which can be deeply rooted in the hearts of the people without platitudes, and make the audience seem to think: Well, this is what I want, but no one has said so before. Before, I took one sentence as the standard: change what you can change and accept what you can't change. Now I want to add: make the best of what you can do. I went back to my hometown a few days ago and saw a master who made ginger candy sweating like rain, pulling the candy ball around wholeheartedly, just like carving a priceless art. I tasted one piece, and the taste was really extraordinary. "It's delicious." I sincerely admire it. "Ha ha, you can buy more if it tastes good." At this time, he seems to be the happiest person in the world. In fact, being a craftsman, as long as you do it with your heart, you can also be respected by others and get heartfelt happiness. If you can't become a master, be a craftsman and strive to be the best craftsman.

If you can't be a master, be a craftsman

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Mon, 06 Jun 2022 15:54:46 GMT

Where is the way out for poor children

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 16:09:32 GMT

Yin Liang said that children from poor families will never be able to make a difference. Her inference is derived from her personal life experience. A few days ago, when she returned home to attend a primary school reunion, she found that most of the male students were either obscene men or fake tycoons full of nonsense. Female students sell black sugar cream that can cure all diseases in their circle of friends, or actively peddle strange facial mask and maintenance products, and "don't buy or let go" when holding an acquaintance. Mr. Chen, once the most idealistic and ambitious student, graduated from a marketing major, but his former employer closed down and couldn't pay his salary, leaving him with no money to pay rent and eat. Except that they can use mobile phones and computers, and read newspapers into variety shows, their lives are not very different from those of their parents. They also live in small houses, fall in love with bad people, and struggle and live in poverty. Yinliang had the best luck. He went abroad with a scholarship in high school and was able to escape from his past life to some extent. When we met this summer, she had begun to study for a doctor of mathematics in a well-known school. Speaking of it, I have known Yin Liang for more than 10 years. Her parents are honest and honest people, selling fresh and delicious fruits and vegetables in the vegetable market; I most remember the pickled plums sold by her family. The sour and sweet are just right. They are very delicious. At that time, Yin Liang was studying in the worst primary school in the region - most of the students could not spell 26 letters by the sixth grade. Every year, the performance of the students in this school is extremely poor. Few people can get into a decent middle school. In the year of her sixth grade, the District opened a new foreign language middle school to recruit the first class of students. Because of the large number of students enrolled, the admission rate is very high. Even so, in yinliang's primary school, more than 50 people took the exam, and she was the only one who got it. In hindsight, Yin Liang said that she was not smart enough to enter the foreign language school, but because her father was willing to spend money. At that time, he heard from several customers who came to buy vegetables that our district would set up a foreign language school in one year. Children who read English well can make a lot of money in the future. After thinking about it at home, his father thought it was reasonable. He immediately borrowed 10000 yuan and gave his daughter an Olympic math class, an English class and a flute playing class. After day and night tutoring, she could not recognize 26 letters, finally learned the level that normal primary school students should have, and successfully entered the foreign language middle school. Her good friend, classmate Chen, was not so lucky. Mr. Chen is an extremely ambitious child. Although his family is poor, he has decided to enter Tsinghua University and Peking University since the first grade of primary school, become an engineer and live a decent and dignified life. He writes well, his homework is clean, and his textbooks are never curled. Although he studied in a poor junior high school, he didn't give up. He started to recite the text at six every day and had to copy the Oxford dictionary before going to bed. On the second day of junior high school, Yin Liang fell in love with Chen. It is said that the latter criticized the former for being not ambitious. However, during the high school entrance examination, Yin Liang successfully promoted to the senior high school of the school, while Chen still failed to enter the key high school. Then, one went to two books and the other went to a famous school to study mathematics. Whenever we talked about the fate of the two people, she felt that "in fact, the degree of intelligence is almost the same, but the difference is that Mr. Chen has to work a lot.". Her advantage is that she went to a good school and got good educational resources at a critical time. In the foreign language middle school, the school provides students with small class English teaching. At the same time, she also has the opportunity to contact other small languages. Compared with the school where Mr. Chen studied, the teaching quality is not only one grade. Mr. Chen has always been in the top ten of the grade, but he is still much worse than the children in good middle schools. The gap created by educational resources grows larger and larger with the growth of time, until it can not be crossed completely. Reality is often so cruel. Another friend of Yin Liang and I, brother Shu, thought that the biggest problem of classmate Chen was not working hard enough. Brother Shu is a man who studies at a famous American business school. He likes to use his own examples to educate everyone. He likes to say that he used to have only 5.0 IELTS, but with his personal struggle, he went to a famous school to study accounting. He would never tell others that in the application stage, he applied for a 2000 yuan one-to-one VIP counseling service. In terms of diligence, Mr. Chen is definitely above the three of us. He started studying at 5 a.m. every day, went to work at 8 o'clock, worked overtime until 12 o'clock, and went home to read books or listen to public classes for an hour. He has persisted for many years. However, at the age of nearly 30, he is still adrift in Beijing. He has no house or car and earns 6000 yuan a month; Dare not go abroad, dare not entertain, or even dare to fall in love. Perhaps in Beijing, there are too many young people like him to count. I am not saying that hard work is useless. But sometimes hard work can be a very cheap thing. Migrant workers' uncles work very hard. The company's small white-collar workers work overtime until threeorfour o'clock. Even many school dregs often stay up late at night. But what did they get? Have they all won a happy life in the end? I have read very poor and good schools myself, and have a deep understanding of the importance of educational resources. A good school not only makes your resume look good, but also means making progress with excellent peers and correct training methods. These things cannot be learned by self-study or by "independent thinking". In the absence of corresponding resources and guidance, diligence is often inefficient mechanical repetition. I'm not kidding. At my grandmother's house, I really know those young people in small towns who take "currency war" as serious historical materials. They study it day and night in the hope of increasing their knowledge. But the question is, can these books be called books? While being moved by their will to struggle, they also feel how good it would be if they could get better educational resources. A few days ago, there was a girl with a poor family. She graduated from three books and drifted North for four years. She was full of confusion about her future life. At the end of her long letter, she wrote, "where is the way out for children from poor families?" Such questions are difficult to answer. All the poor and noble children around me, without exception, occupy the luck, talent and action power that surpass ordinary people, and all enter the turning point of life early. That night, I flipped through the girl's microblog. I was surprised to find that she was forwarding "are you weak? Are you reasonable?" "Poor people deserve to be discriminated against", "being despised by her husband's family without money 23333" and so on. I feel sad for this girl and for the whole environment - not only the upward passage has become extremely difficult, but also the loss of sympathy for the poor. Sometimes, the poor no longer sympathize with the poor. The small middle class living in Yanjiao, Beijing, assumed the attitude of a winner in life and educated them to drift north; Beipiao felt that he was struggling and looked down on his friends who stayed in his hometown; The young people in the small county also proudly complain about other vulnerable groups. For them, bullying people who are weaker than themselves is also a kind of self consolation? As for the question raised by the girl, I thought for a long time and thought it very seriously. Finally, I just wrote her a simple paragraph and told her that I hope she won't be disappointed in life so early and try to keep a little enthusiasm; I also hope she can meet the right opportunity. If she does, she must seize it but miss it. These words are a little perfunctory, but they are really all I can say. About the author: Emma, an art lover, a book lover and a food lover, is gradually becoming a classical language lover. Although girlish, but often "take care of others" guy. I like delicate things, like sincere and kind-hearted friends. I think I have little talent and learning, and I am unable to deliver positive three outlooks and positive energy. If you pay attention to me, I will appreciate your trust; If you don't pay attention to me, I will feel OK. Everyone has his own way to go. Different virtues will lead to different outcomes. I wish everyone can complete their mission and find their way home.

Your difficulties determine your future

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Fri, 27 May 2022 15:24:21 GMT

01 My husband and I resigned and started our business four years ago. In the first two years, we had no experience and barely made any money. We were still burdened with car loans and housing loans. In the past two years, our studio was on the right track. Sometimes my husband would ask me, did you feel hard in those two years? A woman's caution, I would like to say bitter, so that he can feel that I accompany him to start a business, bear hardships together, and be more kind to me in the future, but I shook my head after thinking about it. It's not pretend, indeed, because my husband is a man with strong difficulties. He has used his mentality and tenacity to resolve my anxiety and irritability. In those two years, we basically didn't have a day off. It's normal to work overtime until 10 o'clock at night. It's just like a holiday to get off work at 9 o'clock. Because the convenience store at the gate of the rented house closes at 9:30, and you can buy a bag of melon seeds after work at 9:00 and take them back to the 10:00 TV series. In fact, I'm too tired to eat melon seeds, but my husband always leads me to buy snacks and watch TV, leaving my work behind for the time being. The test of life is sometimes far more difficult than we think. Later, we didn't have to work overtime at all because there was no business. This is more painful than working overtime until I don't have much money to earn. The bank's mortgage reminders and credit card bills make me anxious every minute, and there is suddenly a lot of idle time. The pressure was so great that I began to lose my hair frequently and lost sleep at night. My husband worried about my body. He took me to run every night. We insisted for a long time. Sports brought a magical power to the gloomy life. It did not change our economic situation, but drove away the haze in my heart and made life full of hope. In addition, what's more important is that my husband never stopped learning in the face of the plight of no improvement. In order to go deeper into our industry and understand his operation rules, he kept learning and trying. Finally, with his help, we got rid of the difficulties for the time being and gained some freedom in terms of time and money. Of course, this made us feel comfortable in life, but what made me feel most secure was not the money, but the more powerful difficulties under the leadership of my husband. 02 Predicament is an ability to live. There is a long way to go in life. Who hasn't gone through trials and tribulations but got nothing? Who hasn't been desperate and didn't know where to go next. I've seen people who can't stand up in the face of difficulties. That was my former friend a, whom I met in college and who was a fellow townsman. He was a particularly good friend. A is a boy with a very cheerful personality. He has a good family, a generous personality and likes to play. He is very popular. People around him like him. After graduating from college, a, who was supposed to work, encountered family changes. His mother went to prison for business reasons. Dad left their mother and son and left,. In order to help her mother file a lawsuit, her family's savings were spent. All her friends sympathized with a's experience. A often borrowed money from her friends, and everyone would try to help. However, as a borrowed more and more frequently, we remembered that his mother had been in an accident for almost a year, but he never took part in work. He watched TV at home every day and complained that life was unfair to him. He was eager for money, but refused to start from any job with low salary, because he felt that those things did not conform to his living standard. He doesn't learn anything. He denies himself and is afraid of all the hard work. So five years after graduation, his friends are less in touch with him. Not long ago, I heard that he was almost thirty and still lived by borrowing money. Sometimes it's just a thought. I was particularly impressed by a middle-aged man with white hair on a variety show. This middle-aged man was once a multimillionaire. His family was in debt and he was anxious to turn white. After several twists and turns, he stood up again, opened a breakfast shop with his wife, and life was booming again. He sang Liu Huan's song "start over from scratch" in the program, and he sang this song with a special flavor after suffering and a bright future. The spirit of starting all over again finally put him in an invincible position. 03 There has never been a smooth life. When you fall from the cloud, can you still live a good life? Not long ago, I got together with my college classmates on holidays. We talked about the past few years after graduation. It turned out that we all experienced a lot of heartache. Our class flower L is a popular figure in the school. Originally, her high self-esteem should have given her extra points, but she met a particularly abnormal supervisor. She always felt that she had an empty bag and entered the company on her face. A young girl who just graduated from college was not welcomed by her supervisor. Naturally, her colleagues in the Department would not take much care of him. L, who knew nothing, ran into a wall everywhere. L was so anxious that he couldn't sleep every day. He wanted to change his job and couldn't bear to go to this big company. As a small person without a sense of existence, l was walking on thin ice with fear, but it didn't make l forget to try to finish his work. After class, l has to go to an English class in order to improve himself. It was a dark day for L, who was used to being held in the palm of his hand. Later, by chance, l met the supervisor who came to the English evening school with him. With L's serious attitude towards work, the supervisor no longer had prejudice against her. Now l is the management of the company. Talking about that time, l said this "I am grateful for that time, because those who never knocked me down finally made me stronger." Looking at the students who graduated with me, most of them who are doing well now have experienced a lot of wind and rain, and have survived the difficulties and become stronger step by step. And those who admit defeat in the plight still receive a meager salary and complain about the unfairness of life. When we were studying in the past, our teachers always told us that the first five years after your graduation would be the most tired, confused and unsuccessful five years in your life. No one takes you seriously. You are in financial difficulties, doing the most tiring work and getting the lowest salary. Everyone is the same, but after five years, the gap between you will become more and more obvious. I now understand that the so-called gap in the teacher's mouth should be a person's ability to grow up from difficulties. Those who can rescue themselves from the plight will go up a higher ladder, while those who are defeated by the plight will continue to turn around and sink in the whirlpool. If you want to ride the wind and waves, sometimes you can fly a cloud sail to the sea. The most important thing is to constantly hone your predicament power and turn what you know in the predicament into your own invincible armor.

Don't be depressed by the bumps in front of you. Life should be thick and much broader

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sat, 21 May 2022 15:36:47 GMT

one In the spring of 1948, Wang Zengqi was in Beijing and couldn't find a job. Before that, after graduating from college, he only worked as a middle school teacher for a few years intermittently, occasionally writing some novels. I didn't expect that once I arrived in Beijing, I was completely stupid and lost my job for more than half a year. Depression, suffocation, despair, depression. Shen Congwen, a teacher, once comforted him: "Zeng Qi, don't do this, don't do this! The important thing is to be 'persistent' in life. Be enthusiastic about life. Even in the face of harsh reality, don't feel that "nothing in the world can be taken or done.". One should always use his own creation to make the world better and add some good things to the world. Under any adversity, we can't lose the lyrical interest in life and love for life. " This was heard by Wang Zengqi. In 1958, Wang Zengqi was labeled as a "rightist", devolved labor, depressed creative desire and disillusioned. Shen Congwen waved his pen and wrote: "The times are big, and the individual is as small as a floating Rett. You should live well and adapt to different lives. Only then can you be like a modern man Enthusiastic and simple to accept everything in life will make life really full and strong. " two It has been a valuable resource and encouragement for Wang Qi in the past 32 years. In the ups and downs and ups and downs of fate, he was calm and full of enthusiasm to work, to contact China's land and people, and plunged into life. The pen in his hand stopped temporarily, but his body and heart kept moving forward. In Wang Zengqi's decades of literary and ink career, there is a very strange work - "Atlas of Chinese potatoes". You're right. It was written by a writer. In the spring of 1961, Wang Zengqi was sent to Zhangjiakou Institute of Agricultural Sciences in Hebei Province to work. The Institute assigned him a "task": go to the potato research station and draw a set of potato atlas. Let a top student in the Chinese Department of Southwest Associated University deal with potatoes every day. It's a little overqualified anyway. But he didn't complain, let alone lament that he didn't meet his talents. He had already gained some concentration in his heavy life. In those days when he couldn't go up and down, Wang Zengqi got up early every morning, went to the potato field to pinch a handful of flowers and some leaves, went back to the hut, put them in a glass and looked at the picture. When describing this long and monotonous life, Wang Zengqi wrote a long poem, two of which are: sitting on a cluster of flowers with eyes as bright as a tiger. In his later years, Mr. Wang was invited to give a literature lecture at Peking University. At that time, the students had the same impression of his appearance: others were ordinary, but his eyes were bright. In 1980, Wang Zengqi, who had been silent for decades, wrote a novel that caused a sensation all over the country at the age of Huajia. This masterpiece, which established its position in the literary world in one fell swoop, has been nearly 20 years since the publication of the atlas of Chinese potatoes. Many people mention Wang Zengqi, saying that he is a late bloomer, and Jia Pingwa has a poem praising him: Wang is a literary fox, who is mature and refined. Indeed, he showed a certain literary talent in his youth and did not gain earthly recognition until his later years. However, this big instrument was carved and drilled out in the 32 years of the black box. The energy and spirit that supported him to go through this quenching process patiently and tenaciously is nothing else, just because he is true and loves life. three When it comes to the love of life, many people feel ordinary. Because this word is spoken by countless people as a memorial archway, it is called ordinary. However, life is like a girl with rich experience, full of sadness and regret, complaining about the young people with sweet words: Too many people said he loved me. Just like you. But you might as well ask yourself, do you really love me? What do you love me? Love my beautiful face? Please go back. After I took off my makeup, it was ugly. Love my gentle personality? Please go back. I also have my own temper. Love my fair judgment? Please go back. Sometimes if you try hard, you may not have good results. Love my infatuation as always? Please go back. I've shown my impermanence more than once. Some people say they love me. They don't love me when they find that I'm a little different after I take off my makeup; Some people say they love me. I don't get angry like someone. I just spoil him and he leaves; Some people say they love me and are anxious like ants. I really want to look at his back and say, others are testing you. Some people say they love me in a variety of ways. When they break up, they complain that I am impermanent. Alas, I think you are more impermanent than me. Times have changed. People have lost patience and tenacity. After chasing me for three days without obvious response, they began to cry for their parents. They often catch a passer-by and say: I'm desperate, I'm collapsed. Do you know what true despair is? Have you ever really understood me for a moment? If you want to know what kind of man I like, go and see Wang Zengqi. He really loves me. He loves me not because I conform to an abstract ideal schema. What he loves is my life itself, which is flawed, even a little dirty, but inseparable. So I loved him, too. He deserves this feedback. four Pushkin has a widely circulated poem. The first sentence is: if life deceives you Countless people take this sentence to heal themselves when they are stumbling and hindered. Over time, excessive medication turned into an anesthetic. After all, I don't dare to say this. It's a big premise. After all, I'm not wrong. But if we take this as the psychological starting point to understand everything, you and I will feel in our hearts countless times that we are a poor victim. Life, when did I introduce myself to you once? I can't understand it all my life. Therefore, there is no deception in life, because we hardly know each other. When you think it "deceives you", it is still itself. When you think it "coaxes you", yes, this is also life; You ate sweet jujube, which is sincerely given to you by life. Eat it without pretending. You've been slapped. Don't cry in a hurry. There's nothing wrong. When life slaps you, it's also serious and honest. When expressing your love for life, be careful to open your mouth. If you love it, you will love it all, even whether it will love you in the end. You can refuse and feel unfair. But don't worry. If you still choose the one you love after recognizing the truth, you won't suffer any loss. Even if life "betrayed" Wang Zengqi's love, he kept asking him to draw potatoes in the cabin. Is it cruel enough? irrespective. In that way, Wang Zengqi will just become a potato research expert. When you pass by that hut, you will hear a strange old man shouting excitedly: Oh, I'll go. Today's potato seedlings are so beautiful! It doesn't hurt if you let Wang Xiaobo raise pigs all his life. Look, all the pigs coming out of his circle are "maverick". People who have a sincere love for life are always "invincible". You can't hold a bird that really wants to fly. The shackles confine the body and can't destroy their mood and aspirations, because their feathers are too bright!

Don't let "too hard" be your excuse to give up

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Mon, 16 May 2022 14:50:48 GMT

one When checking the homework, I found that many students didn't do the advanced questions, and not many basic questions were done completely. I looked at the empty questions and was a little stunned. Those questions were not difficult, but the author changed his mind a little. Changed the strategy of setting questions, just use your brain a little, and it should not be difficult to do it on the basis of students' current situation. But the students are still lazy and don't like thinking. When they see the problems that need to use their brains, they will directly empty them and wait for the teacher to speak. After observation, I found a problem. When students encounter problems they can't do, they often ask: "teacher, can you empty the problems they can't do?" Whenever I hear such a problem, I always feel a sense of helplessness. Why don't I find a way to solve the problem, but find an excuse to give up? At this time, I always say: "if not, think independently first. If not, you can consult your deskmate or ask the teacher. There will always be a solution." Students answer every time, but not many students take the initiative to ask questions. Many students think that the problem is too difficult without thinking, and then jump to the next one. Therefore, it is not difficult to imagine why there are so many empty questions in the homework. At home, there are more temptations to play than in school. In the subconscious of students, they only want to finish their homework quickly, so they can have more time to play. Even if the teacher checks the next day, they can excuse themselves because the topic is too difficult. During school, I also had such a mentality. Many times, it is not that the problem is too difficult, but that we don't think about it ourselves, which makes the problem look too difficult. What is really difficult is often our lazy heart. Sometimes it's not a bad thing to encounter problems. It can urge us to think of ways, reason our ideas and temper people's mind. When a person no longer flinches when he meets difficulties, he is really growing up. two My best friend has opened a flower shop on her own, and the scale is getting larger and larger. She has more and more business on weekdays. She can't be busy alone. Some time ago, she recruited two apprentices Xiaoqing and Xiaoyi. She usually follows her best friend to learn some flower arrangement art. If there are any learning opportunities in the industry, her best friend also spared no expense to let them go out to study at public expense, thinking of cultivating these two young people. During the holiday, I went to my best friend's florist and found that Xiaoyi was only busy in the store. After asking, I learned that Xiaoqing had resigned. It turned out that it was because Xiaoqing felt that it was too difficult to learn flower arrangement. In addition to learning the theoretical knowledge of flower arrangement, practicing again and again and deepening practice, he also had to go into nature and understand the variety of patterns. There are also requirements when inserting. You need to have a certain painting skill. The flower shape and style need to be copied first. The angle, position and composition of flower branches need a certain appreciation ability. However, as long as you learn the skills of flower arrangement with your heart, practice and observe more, it is not difficult to create good works. The key lies in your own efforts. The other girl's small art is different. She has never given up. Even if she stayed up until midnight to learn the theoretical knowledge of flower arrangement and practice, she never said a word "difficult". Now Xiaoyi has become the manager of another branch of her best friend, leading several apprentices to learn the art of flower arrangement. I have read such a sentence: outstanding people have a great advantage, that is, perseverance in adverse and difficult experiences. Too difficult should never be an excuse for one to shrink back, but a courage to move forward. three In the first year of work, there was an old teacher Wang in our office. Just that year, the reform of education policy required every teacher to be able to give lectures with courseware. The courseware needed to be done by himself on the computer using PPT, and the usual lesson preparation also needed to be done electronically on the computer. Because Mr. Wang is older and has never been in contact with a computer before, he learned how to turn on and off the computer, not to mention PPT and other operations, which is really a little difficult for Mr. Wang. But Mr. Wang didn't leave the work to others because it was too difficult to do PPT. Instead, every time he made courseware, he would ask me to help him do it together. I've seen too many people who rely on their old age and sell their old age before they are 40, and say they are old and can't learn too difficult skills. Mr. Wang makes me admire them from the bottom of my heart. Before long, Mr. Wang learned to make ppt independently. I went to his class and saw him use it freely on the podium. I knew he worked hard in private. A person who can make no excuses and complain in the face of difficulties will always find reasons to make progress, learn new knowledge and master new skills. In front of them, the difficulty is not a gap that cannot be crossed, but a river that crosses them. Across the river is the attractive scenery that many people want, but choose to retreat. Once a person develops the habit of retreating in the face of difficulties, it is difficult to break through difficulties. Even a small difficulty will defeat him. Anyone who chooses to give up under the pretext of "difficulty" is an evasive psychology, but also his own inertia. He is afraid that he will not learn to escape, while he is unwilling to spend time and energy. Life is not as good as life. Nine times out of ten, life will not be as smooth as we think. Anyone will encounter things that he feels very difficult and wants to give up. However, nothing in the world is difficult, just for those who have a heart. Your heart is your only magic weapon against difficulties.

People with foresight are a little cruel

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Thu, 12 May 2022 14:12:03 GMT

Being cruel to bad people can keep away from bad things My cousin is a "great good man" in other people's mouth. I can't see anyone begging him. In the past, a relative asked him to borrow money. As soon as he shouted a few words of hardship, he honestly took out the money at the bottom of the box and completely forgot that his family was just enough to make a living. Later, when his family needed money, he couldn't bear to ask for it. Finally, he finally opened his mouth. As soon as the relative cried poor, he had no choice. But the problem is that the relative also showed photos of his family traveling abroad a few days ago. When someone laughed at him for being stupid, he comforted himself and said, "it's a blessing to suffer losses.". Although my cousin can think freely, he let the whole family follow him and live a hard life. His wife often quarrels with him about money, and his children are not close to him. There is a saying to the point: "to be soft hearted to bad people is to be cruel to yourself." Too soft hearted people seem to be kind, but in fact they are confused. I've paid so much for others, but I've made a mess of my life. And those who live a clear life are a little "cruel" in life. Like Su Mingyu in "everything's fine", she suffered from exclusion at home since childhood. When she grew up, she simply cut off contact with her family and started her own business. When her mother died, she paid for the funeral, but she didn't shed a tear; The second brother hurt her. She insisted on calling the police until the second brother apologized in public. Although some people said she was cruel, she had to admire her courage: even if others were demons, she was rarely affected and still lived a prosperous life. In contrast, fan shengmei in Ode to joy continues to wipe her family's ass while crying and complaining that her family has dragged her down. Cycle, unable to extricate themselves. For those rotten people and things that consume you, and for other people's unreasonable requirements, you might as well learn to be "cruel". The rejection that should be rejected and the blackness that should be pulled are not my no, but my No. You don't have to be coy. Anyway, those who always embarrass you are not good people. two If you are cruel to your child, you can help him grow The BBC Documentary journey to life tells such a story: White cheeked geese are good at flying birds. They can fly 80 kilometers per hour because they have been severely trained since childhood. Soon after the baby geese were born, they would be taken to the edge of a cliff tens of meters by their parents and jump down in line. The little black geese who dare not jump will also be urged by their parents, flapping their weak wings and jumping down the abyss. The survival rate of little black geese jumping off the cliff is less than half. Only those who survive can master excellent flying skills. They can still live well without their parents in the future. There is a famous saying in the Warring States policy: if parents love their children, they have far-reaching plans. Parents who really love their children do not do everything for their children, but help their children grow up on their own. The famous writer Liu Yong said a thought-provoking passage: Children do not know how to cherish, because children have become caged birds, waiting for you to feed every day. First, he can't be independent. Second, he thinks you owe him. You should feed him then. Therefore, parents often feel that their children do not understand gratitude and will not give back, but they do not know that this situation is spoiled by their parents, and their children have lost their ability to love. As the old saying goes, "a loving mother loses more children". You are too soft hearted to your child. When the child cries, he compromises. It seems that you love him, but in fact, you are slowly destroying him. Just like the singer Li Shuangjiang's way of teaching children: "if you don't beat your son, you won't give up. Before you beat him, your tears fall first." Reluctant to take care of his children, Li Shuangjiang finally had to watch his son go to prison. If you don't discipline your child when he is in trouble, he will only make the trouble bigger and bigger in the future; If a child refuses to study hard and you don't force him, he will have to run into a wall everywhere when he enters the society in the future; Children are lazy and lazy. You don't let them know the hardships of life. In the future, they not only don't understand gratitude, but also double their demands from you No child likes to suffer, but as a parent, I'd rather let the child suffer first and then sweet than let him suffer first. Jade is not cut, not made. Now be cruel to the child, let him suffer and get experience, so that the child can be promising in the future. three If you are cruel to yourself, you can become stronger and stronger I have read such a sentence: If you want to put down a person, put down your mobile phone first. If you want to quit an addiction, pull out your network cable first. Putting down the mobile phone and unplugging the Internet cable is nothing but a trivial matter, but few people can really do it. The reason is very simple. Everyone likes a comfortable life, and no one is willing to find sin for himself. As some people say: hard work is not necessarily successful, but not hard work must be very comfortable. Reading and learning are boring. It's better to play games; It's hard to work overtime every day. It's better to brush and shake the music; It's not easy to come to the weekend, let alone treat yourself badly. It's also good to stay in bed until the afternoon These low-quality "junk happiness" let you immerse yourself in the illusion of quiet time, muddle along and waste time. You gain short-term pleasure, but you pay a long-term price. One day you will suddenly find that those who are similar to you have left you far behind; Others gain knowledge, ability and money, but you gain only age, weight and poverty. If you want to be famous before others, you must suffer after others. Those who can make achievements in all walks of life are a little "cruel" to themselves. Super model he Sui, known as "he Xiangu", not only strictly controls his diet in order to maintain a perfect figure, but also takes the gym as his home. He trains for at least two hours a day, from running, badminton to yoga. Her social media are basically fitness photos. Her favorite entertainment is to play poker games with her friends and exercise accordingly. Her excellent professional ability has made her stand on the stage of Weimi for 8 consecutive years and amazed the world. On the other hand, another model, after becoming famous, began to keep taking variety shows and drying delicious food. He had a lot of fun and didn't want to bother with fitness and training. She fell on the stage before long. If you are not cruel, who will be strong for you. Behind the surface scenery, there is endless sweat; Behind all the achievements is the self-discipline of an ascetic monk. If you are too soft on yourself and keep lowering your requirements, you are digging a hole for yourself. Even if you can enjoy a moment of comfort now, you will definitely fall hard on the road in the future. Be cruel to yourself so that you can grow and grow stronger in adversity. Even if you encounter a big storm, you can face it calmly without fear. four There is a saying in bojack the horse: "if you want to live, you have to be cruel." The reason why the strong become strong is that they dare to "cut" at themselves, cut off useless social intercourse, stay away from garbage and happiness, and force themselves out of their comfort zone. The world is actually very fair. All gains must be paid first, and all gains must be lost first. If you want to live your style, don't be weak and muddle along. What should be broken should be broken when it should be. Only by bravely crossing obstacles and resolutely removing lazy cancer can we create a new future. Encourage each other.

Make you a master of communication

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sun, 08 May 2022 14:03:00 GMT

On the road to success, contacts are more important than knowledge. Developing relationships should be your top priority. Never eat alone introduces the rules of communication in the 21st century. The book contains a lot of practical skills to make you thrive through relationships. Keep the essence. Here are 106 tips from the book. Practice these skills in practice and become a successful and fulfilling communication master in life.

Help others succeed The essence of social interaction is to help others succeed in various forms. Share your knowledge and resources, time and energy, friends and relationships, compassion and love, so as to continuously provide value to others and improve your own value.
Try to give more than you get back Because you will provide value to others, others will contact you. So think more about others than yourself.
Don't keep it Don't think friendship is limited. This is an investment. It will roll more and more.
The key to success is generosity In social communication, what is common is not the desire for convenience, but generosity.
Define your life goals The intersection of your talent and desire is your inner passion. What is your most exciting thing? What do you think time flies when you do it?
Know exactly what you want The more you know what you want, the more you can find a way to achieve it.
Get used to setting goals for yourself The easiest way to make a difference is to set goals. Turn dreams into life goals and then break them down into small goals.
Set a plan for developing relationships Building a social network is a process. Your plan should include the following three points: (1) your three-year goal and progress every three months. (2) List people who can help you achieve each goal. (3) How to contact the people listed in point 2. Once you set a goal, post it where you often see it.
Create your own "think tank" Find people of insight who are willing to do their duty to help you. They are your "think tank".
Build networks before you need them Keep in touch as early as possible before you find you need someone else. It's important to treat these people as friends, not potential customers.
Keep in touch with people you know Start by focusing on the people in your current network.
Boldness Courage is amazing. Two people with similar abilities develop differently, perhaps just because of the thickness of their face.
Be willing to turn to others for help Being willing to ask creates opportunities. You should be as willing to ask for help as you are to help others. Remember, prepare for the worst when others say "no".
Consider the harvest in the face of fear If you have the cheek to talk to people you don't know, you will naturally be afraid of the dilemma that you can fail. This is a risky thing. If you want to gain and achieve, you must take risks. And doing nothing is mediocre.
Respect others Respect everyone, no matter high or low.
Transparent Opening up is a beneficial and extremely popular attitude.
Make friends People who are good at communication are not "building networks", but "making friends". Extensive harvest is a natural result, not a well-designed goal.
Get ready Who do you want to see? How can I see you? What did he think of you after seeing you? These can not be ignored.
Know the people you associate with How can you know enough about the people you associate with, go deep into his field and have a professional dialogue with him. You can easily be appreciated. Find a rich and deep common ground, and then you will be able to communicate easily and make a deep impression.
Understand other people's interests Love your dog and you will soon be a part of their life.
Never eat alone It's very easy to communicate at dinner. Eating with others is an effective way of communication.
Manage your information Effective information management is very important. If you are organized, focused and persistent, no one will leave your network.
List Sort out your list according to your goals (such as potential customers, potential employers, etc.). List not only the relevant units, but also the people who have the right to speak in the unit.
Know the authority in your professional field In order to achieve your goals, you need to know who is the best in your field. List the authorities in the current field.
List the people you already know List the people you already know: relatives, college classmates, past classmates, former teachers, former colleagues
Flexible organizational information You should be flexible in the way you manage lists. By location, industry, proximity
Use other people's contact list to supplement your own Other people's lists are your resources.
Establish a list of "people eager to know" Your list can include "people eager to know". They are high-level people you hope to know in the future.
Contact a complete stranger (coldcall) When you need to call a stranger, you are more or less afraid. Just harden your scalp. Just think that you will succeed. To meet a new person is both a challenge and an opportunity
1. Persistence If you contact others, they don't respond. You have to keep in touch with them. You have to take the initiative, even aggressive.
2. Contact the person with indirect connection (warmcall) Use the following four rules to: (1) express reliability: mention relevant people or units. (2) Ask valuable questions: what can you do for them? (3) Tell the urgency and convenience: in most cases, the only purpose of a cold call is to make an appointment. (4) Prepare a compromise plan: position higher at the beginning and leave room for negotiation.
3. Regard the guard as an ally rather than an enemy Gatekeepers should also be respected. Don't annoy them.
4. Never disappear When building social networks, remember: first, never disappear. Disappearance is worse than failure.
5. Strive to remain visible and active Fill your social, meeting and event schedules. You must remain visible and active in your start-up network of friends and relationships.
6. Arrange multiple things together You have to work hard to successfully connect with others, but that doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time. You can schedule the same event to save time. If you invite all the people you want to see to meet together.
7. Find fun Communication is fun, not a waste of time.
8. Share your passion Sharing interests is the foundation of any relationship. When you are really interested in something, it is very infectious.
9. Emphasize time quality Friendship is based on the quality of time spent by both parties, not on quantity.
10. Follow up or failure After meeting the person you want to associate with, let others remember you. Follow up is the key.
11. Follow up immediately You should follow up within 12 to 24 hours after you meet them. E-mail is a shortcut.
12. Don't forget to follow up again One month later, send another email. keep in contact.
13. Spend time communicating with people at the meeting Meetings are often misunderstood as a place to look for ideas. wrong! The meeting has only one advantage: it provides a place to meet like-minded people.
14. Be the meeting organizer Don't just be a participant; Be an organizer. Prepare the information in advance: who, how and where to meet.
15. Public statements Speaking is one of the simplest and most effective ways to make others remember you..
16. Follow up as much as possible Don't spend the whole meeting with your best friend. Follow up as many people as possible.
17. Keep in touch with communication experts There are many more people than we know. These people are the core of each network. If you can make friends with these people. Your connection with thousands of people is through this one person.
18. Have as many acquaintances as possible (acquantance = know but not particularly close people) Usually the most important people in our network are those who know each other. Why? Because our closest friends are similar to what we know. So the more people you know, the stronger you will be.
19. Meet people in all fields We know not only thousands of people, but also thousands of people in different fields.
20. Exchange contacts with others The most effective way to expand your circle of friends is to connect your circle with others.
21. Establish your Organizational Committee Politicians have "Organizing Committees": people working in various fields are organized together. If you want to have more extensive contact with the world, you should find a way to find a core person to be your "organization member".
22. Improve your "language fluency" "Language fluency": the ability to communicate confidently with anyone and under any circumstances. This is a common feature of many successful people. The ability to get along well with others is more important for personal progress than anything else. Be yourself 52 To be impressive, being different is the key. To be different, be yourself. Being yourself is charming. Your uniqueness is your strength.
23. "Obedience" The power of obedience is ignored by many people. Obedience plays a great role in gossip.
24. Tell the truth When you understand that the best way to break the silence is to speak from your heart, it's not so terrible to start a conversation.
25. Learn to use nonverbal communication When others see you, they can subconsciously decide whether they will like you in 10 seconds. Such judgment is based on verbal communication.
26. Materials to be discussed Have something to talk about. Pay attention to current affairs and cultivate some interests and hobbies.
27. Learn to listen You have to understand others before you can be understood.
28. Be sure to remember other people's names Nothing sounds more comfortable than your name.
29. Sincerity There is no doubt that if you want to be seen as a special person, you have to make others feel that he is very special in your eyes.
30. Try to find the motivation of others When you first communicate with others, you can find their motivation. Their motivation is generally based on three kinds: making money, finding love and changing the world.
31. Take the initiative to help others (www.lz13. CN) Taking the initiative to help others solve their key problems can make them very close.
32. Make yourself indispensable to others Indispensable is very important. To be indispensable, you need to constantly convey your information, social relations and goodwill to as many people as possible.
33. Think about how you can make everyone around you succeed When someone tells you that he has a problem, you should think about what you can do. The solution comes from your experience, your knowledge, your friends and your helpers.
34. Offer help Don't wait for others to offer help, take the initiative.
35. Dissemination of knowledge When you don't have many financial and contacts, it's also feasible to make a profit through social networking. This is through knowledge. You can easily learn to spread knowledge in your network.
36. Be interested in the success of others Interested in the success of others, you can become more successful in 2 months. You can also spend two years making others interested in your success. (Dale Carnegie)
37. Small contact from time to time 80% of relationships are maintained only through small connections. You have to keep in touch, contact, contact... Never stop. You should constantly feed your personal network to ensure that it will not wither.
38. Repeat, repeat again There is a key way to make others remember you well: repetition.
39. Establish a scoring system Building a scoring system can make it easy for you to maintain a relationship. For example: (1) "level 1" contact at least once a month. (2) "Level 2" should make a phone call or send an email at least every quarter. (3) "Level 3" should be contacted at least once a year.
40. Put small contacts on your agenda You need to include small connections in your scope of work.
41. In the name of individual If possible, try to keep all information in your personal name.
42. Don't forget your birthday Birthdays should be your best chance to get in touch.
43. Eat with the "main force" We have established relationships with older, wiser and more experienced people. These people are the "main force". Eat with them and charge some electricity at the same time.
44. Be an interesting person In fact, everyone you meet will ask themselves questions like, "do I need to spend an hour with this person for lunch?"
45. Be a person with content Content is the professionalism of knowledge. It's what makes you different. Where you have a unique brand. Therefore, we should have our own unique opinions.
46. Keep learning and sharing your content without reservation To be different from others, you have to learn, share and sell your content relentlessly.
47. Get other people's content Sometimes you can easily turn other people's ideas into your own content. Then share and apply these ideas in a leading way.
48. Provide your own content Other times, you have to think about providing your own content. You need to know all kinds of information, and then string them together differently.
49. Attract attention Once there is resonance, it will attract attention. What you have to offer is simple: a vivid story.
50. Become an expert The most common way to become a content creator is to be an expert. Do what experts do: teach, write and tell others your professional knowledge.
  1. Teach what you want to learn Teaching others is the best way for you to learn and understand.
  2. Express your content with a story Powerful content expressed in the form of stories can help achieve goals. When you tell a story, use your feelings to convince those skeptics.
  3. Establish personal brand A strong brand is very competitive, but it is always based on the value of the product rather than the way it is described. A good personal brand can do three things: make others feel authentic, different and trustworthy.
  4. Make yourself unique Your brand expresses what you can offer, why you are special, and why they keep in touch with you.
  5. Increasing value In becoming a brand, you need to focus on what you do and constantly add value. This means you need to go beyond.
  6. Sign of establishing personal brand What do you want others to think of when they hear and read your name? Your brand logo should include all the words that others will use when referring to you.
  7. Package your brand To look valuable, you need to look bright and professional. So why not build a personal website?
  8. Promote your brand If you don't promote yourself, others won't. Your success depends on how others recognize your work, which also depends on the quality of your work.
  9. Keep in touch with the media You should keep in touch with the media from now on, instead of waiting until you really want to tell them the story.
  10. Vigorously promote the information content, not the author What you promote to others should be your sense of mission, not your pride.
  11. Co writing If you have poor writing skills, you can write with others. By writing together in this way, you can make your interpersonal network grow exponentially with people you don't have much contact with.
  12. Write articles Writing articles can greatly promote your career development. Let you be noticed in a short time.
  13. Stick to writing to become a good writer To be a good writer: write, write again. When you're finished, keep writing.
  14. Socialize with celebrities You only keep in touch with nobody? You need to focus on some important people, which will make a big difference in the lives of you and your friends around you.
  15. Building trust Trust is the key to getting close to these authorities. Let others trust that you have no ulterior motive to contact them. Let others trust you and treat them as ordinary people rather than stars.
  16. Join the Association There are various associations now. If you want to meet influential people face to face, you have to be a participant first.
  17. Build your own club Sometimes you want to join some valuable clubs, but you can't join them for various reasons. Why don't you start your own club? Draw up your own promotion plan and establish a new organization. Invite people you want to meet to join your organization.
  18. Modesty Arrogance is a disease. It will make you forget your true friends and the importance of friends. Keep modest as you progress. Help others to progress with you and even surpass you.
  19. Review your past Always review your past and keep in touch with people who have been important to you since childhood.
  20. Find some tutors Find mentors who are talented, experienced and willing to invest time to help you improve. Instead of just deciding your career direction based on salary and reputation.
  21. Take the advantages of all families There must be my teacher in a three person trip. There are many people around you who can learn.
  22. Establish a good relationship between teachers and apprentices A successful apprenticeship requires effectiveness and enthusiasm. The effect means that you can let the teacher see his influence on you. Passion means that your mentor will invest in your progress.
  23. Find some disciples When you keep trying to improve, be sure to turn back and help others. You will learn a lot from your students.
  24. Adhere to the principle Communication should move forward, not compromise backward. You must never go against your values in dealing with others.
  25. Don't try to balance your professional and personal life You should provide the same value to people in different customs. Instead of dividing life into work and life.
  26. Build close friendship How many people can walk into your house and open the refrigerator for food? Having close friends will make you happy.

The most worthy person: the one who is reluctant to spend your money

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sat, 07 May 2022 11:09:46 GMT

Last week, a comrade in arms from my hometown came to Qingdao for business. I gave a banquet to his party of four as a host. They said they were comrades in arms, but they didn't spend a day together. When I went back to my hometown two years ago, I met at a dinner party. When I talked, it turned out that I was a soldier for a year. But he went to Yunnan, while I went to the Yalu River in the northeast. But since I joined the army in the same year, I was commensurate with my comrades in arms. No contact after that. I was stunned when I received his call that day. Under his repeated prompts, I picked him up from the depths of my memory. Out of politeness, I politely asked him to order. He's really rude. Sea cucumber, conch, abalone and prawns are better. All four people drink a lot. Pay the bill after dinner, 1600 yuan, good guy, half a month's salary. Normally, friends come to Qingdao. Although they don't come to me specially, it's not too much to have a meal for thousands of children. As a working-class worker with money in his pocket, he can't help feeling a little distressed. In particular, the "atmosphere" of this comrade in arms when ordering, as well as the "free and easy" of the four people who left immediately after drinking and eating, felt more and more bad. I can't help thinking of a big brother I have always respected since I came to Qingdao eight years ago. When I first arrived, the difficulty of survival and the loneliness of being a stranger in a foreign land made me retreat for several times. It was this big brother who helped me contact customers and get through contacts that enabled me to get through those difficult and sad days. The elder brother, who has long been successful, helped me entirely because we are very congenial in speaking. Moreover, we all have a preference for words. Later, under the care of my eldest brother, I gradually stood firm. Thinking of the source after drinking water and knowing kindness, I specially chose a higher-grade hotel to hold a banquet to thank my brother. I'm glad to have a big drink at the banquet, brother. After dinner, I went to the front desk to check out, but I was told that someone had settled the bill. I knew it must have been my big brother, so I felt embarrassed. At this time, the eldest brother smiled and said to me, "if you really want to invite the eldest brother, go to your little rental house and let your younger brother and sister cook some home-made dishes by hand. We can get drunk. When you develop in the future, the eldest brother of the most advanced hotel will go and never pay the bill." The words made my eyes filled with tears. The same is to invite friends to dinner, but it is two different situations. I can't help feeling that a true friend is like underwear. No matter what changes, he has always been considerate; A false friend is like a windbreaker. It is only for comments and viewing, not for the soul. Looking at Ni Ping's "Grandma's quotations" recently, Ni Ping said that no matter when I have no money or when I have almost endless money, I find that grandma is the most reluctant to spend my money in our family. Deep feeling. In addition to being busy, we might as well calm down, take a good inventory of many relatives and friends around us, and see that he or she is the one who is most worthy of respect and communication in your life.

If you don't cherish yourself, don't blame others for their indifference to you

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Fri, 06 May 2022 15:34:18 GMT

In Lijiang in 2005, I formed a temporary team with some strangers to plan to enter Tibet along the Yunnan Tibet line. Passing through Meili Snow Mountain, we stopped at Feilai temple to turn the mountain. A female college student in Beijing inadvertently said that her leg was swollen. Out of professional habits, I asked her past medical history. The girl said she had aplastic anemia and had to go for blood transfusion almost every month when she was in Beijing. I was stunned: "then why did you go to Gaoyuan?" Patients with aplastic anemia have poor blood oxygen carrying function, not to mention at high altitude. The girl said, "it's my life dream to go to Tibet. I'm very happy all the way. Even if I die here, it's worth it." Having nothing to say, I immediately proposed to return, otherwise the patient's life would be in danger. There are 6 people in our company. Two old donkey friends said that the girl is an adult and should be responsible for her behavior. She should go back by herself without affecting others. Two Guangzhou tourists said it didn't matter. The Tibetan guide agreed to return to Diqing, saying there was a hospital there. We argued for a long time and didn't reach an agreement, but the girl seemed to have a cold again and began to have some difficulty breathing. So my guide Zaxi and I decided to take the patient away by ourselves. We took turns carrying the girls down the mountain and rushed back to Deqin. It was already dusk. Finally, we found a hospital. The girl couldn't stand up. The situation looked very serious. I shouted at my throat for a long time before a middle-aged man dressed as a migrant worker came out. He was holding his trouser legs and a screwdriver in his hand. It seemed that he was repairing something just now. "Where's the doctor?" I asked. He said, "I am." I was worried: "this girl has anemia and may need oxygen now." He replied, "we don't have oxygen here." I picked up the girl and turned away. It seems that I have to go back to Shangri La. We set foot on our way home overnight and rushed all the way to the largest Diqing Autonomous Prefecture hospital. The man on duty is a male doctor of my age. "Doctor, I'm also a doctor. This girl has aplastic anemia. She may need oxygen." The doctor said nothing, took out the square paper and brushed a few strokes. I took it over and saw that it said how much oxygen inhalation, how much oxygen inhalation tube, and how much it was altogether - where is the prescription? It was clearly a bill. "Comrade, can you check her blood routine?" I asked cautiously. The doctor said calmly, "blood routine can be checked tomorrow morning and a report can be issued around 5 pm." I felt dizzy again. In developed areas, hospitals usually report in 10 minutes. It was a long night. I was really worried that the girl student could no longer see the sunrise on the plateau. Fortunately, the girl was in stable condition that night. The next day, we sent her to the bus back to Lijiang, and there was no contact from then on. For many years after that, I have been obsessed with the irrelevant attitude of those colleagues. Life is at stake. How can you be so indifferent? It was not until I walked through the no man's land, climbed the snow mountain, took outdoor sports courses and met professional athletes that I realized the respect for my own life, that is, the responsibility for the whole team and the respect for the lives of others. Beside the road leading to Mount Everest, the remains of many dead people are scattered, and the latecomers are in awe when they pass by. But many years have passed, but no one can bring them back to their hometown, because it will take great risks and even pay the price of life. Saving lives in extreme circumstances is so difficult, but if it is a person who doesn't even cherish himself, why do others take risks to protect her?

Can you praise people?

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Thu, 05 May 2022 14:02:38 GMT

My father and my mother have been getting along for decades: they humiliate each other to death. As long as one of the two begins to speak, the other party must open the damage directly, and the knife will fall from his mouth without mercy. Dad: how about the new shirt? I bought it myself. Mom: coquettish! Sissy! The thief is disgusting! Can you buy clothes?! Dad: I won't play with you anymore Dinner. Dad: Nanbo thief GA (adverb, indicating the intensity of degree) tastes terrible! There is a smell of restaurant overnight meals reheated in the microwave oven! Mom: don't eat the gourmet larenzi! Dad: it doesn't matter whether I eat or not. My son is hungry and thin again. Look! Me: it's none of my business I may find it interesting to write this, but in fact, they are really humbling each other with their lives from the bottom of their hearts. Ningbo Dialect itself is very hard. Normal speech is like a quarrel. Once the sarcasm mode is turned on, the combat effectiveness will rise. Moreover, the language itself of Ningbo Dialect is highly praised for swearing, and there are very few boasting words. I went to Baidu to "boast people in Ningbo Dialect", and there was only one, so I'd better ask questions in Baidu Post Bar. Then go to search "Ningbo curse", more than ten pages... Sweat. So when my parents were roast with each other, it was a Ningbo swearing exhibition. Few meals can be eaten in peace. After all these years, I'm used to listening to them tease each other at dinner. However, in the past two years, since the two elders retired. I found that my parents have become able to speak well of each other and praise each other face to face! Go home for dinner once in a while. Dad: your mother's cooking is delicious now. Look at the dishes, look at the taste, tut tut tut! Mom: Oh, it's so careless. Your father often cooks now. His craft is better than me. Dad: you've been cooking for decades. I've always been used to eating. Me: OS: Dad, do you play amnesia? Who used to pick on vegetables? Don't do this, will you? I'm suddenly not used to it!!! Finally, once I couldn't help asking why you suddenly became hypocritical? My father taught me the way of life and the way of husband and wife again. Dad: Little coffin, I tell you, after retirement, I'll lose your mother all day. Don't want to stay comfortable. What if I don't make dinner for me and run to the square dance? Look at my boast. Your mother will cook happily and bring me meat! Learn! In this life, praising people won't make you less meat. Praise people more and hurt people less. Everyone is happy! [2] There seems to be no tradition of boasting in our culture, only the tradition of flattering. Praise and praise are always easy to put together with some bad words. For example, if you are courteous without anything, you will steal if you are not a traitor. Glib, honeyed and insidious, with ulterior motives, hiding a knife in a smile, and so on. Praising individuals should also be regarded as villains with bad intentions. Naturally, everyone is unwilling to express their praise. Because of this, she is rich in death and arrogance, and has many tragedies in her life. The most famous proverb in history is "I don't kill Biren, but Biren dies because of me." The protagonist, brother Biren. Brother Bo Ren is named Zhou Qing. In fact, he appreciated director Wang very much and tried his best to defend him in times of crisis. But this brother had a hard mouth and didn't say it in front of others. He looked at director Wang's face. Later, when Zhou Qing encountered a crisis, director Wang was silent. Well, he really died. He was tired and killed people! When I understood this historical allusion, I sighed. Praise people, what positive energy, from the heart, say it! This is Cao Cao's most forthright, "today's Heroes only use the king and Cao's ears!" Just boast about your preparation. Always staring at the defects and deficiencies of others, you are unhappy, and the other party is even more unhappy. If there are any simple and effective skills in life that can immediately improve happiness, I think sincere praise and praise are essential. In Will Smith's romantic comedy "enemies of the people", he guides a clumsy fat man to chase his goddess. The trick is how to praise effectively and praise people's hearts. One scene was particularly impressive. The goddess took the fat man to a party. There are many girlfriends in it. If a fat man wants to chase the goddess, he must be recognized by his girlfriends and see what he does after being instructed. One: shake hands with every stranger and introduce yourself with confidence. Don't express your opinions easily. Don't be frivolous. Women can intuitively know whether you are honest or not. The smarter a woman is, the less she likes others to pretend. Even a clumsy person is more natural to sincerely express his clumsiness than to pretend to be proficient. Two: praise the details based on the facts, and redouble the past with half the effort. The fat man learned something about the goddess's best friend and asked him how he came to create inspiration? When a girl friend starts to talk, she listens carefully with her eyes, gives feedback on what she says, praises it reasonably and without exaggeration, and makes some casual description and praise of the clothes the other person is wearing today. It is simple and casual, but it makes people feel comfortable. In any social place, people expect what others think of themselves. If they get a positive response, people will be happy with their good qualities and further feel close to those who praise you. Three: if you want to do something just because you're shy and don't do it, it's more worth doing. Develop a positive response to others' kindness, strengths and changes. Praise is not a shy thing, but a generous gift. I think it's good to praise people simply. Don't hurt another person at the same time and get shot while lying down. It's very sad! In my opinion, praising people is a kind of simple praise and appreciation, not for other purposes. Praising is praising itself, just like going out and sighing nice day when you encounter good weather. Colleagues have a new hairstyle. It's enough to sincerely say that it suits you. This kind of natural and comfortable boasting makes people feel comfortable and makes them feel good at the same time. Why not? [III] Finally, for a negative example, when my good friend Lao Zhou asked his girlfriend how he was after cutting his short hair, he said with a dull and sincere face, "I think your short hair is very good! The smiling face of the other party has just begun... He continued: "Anyway, your long hair is not feminine, and your short hair saves shampoo! It's much cooler!!" He cried to me that his girlfriend didn't forgive him now... I can only reply sincerely and painfully: it's time. On the contrary, I think of the last question: how do you pick up the conversation when your girlfriend says XX is so handsome? (I should often encounter this in my life. Most boys are dismissive and obsessed with flowers. Look at the correct answer.) "So what? My girlfriend is not as beautiful as me." According to the fact, this beautiful can be replaced by lovely, meaningful and so on Don't praise deliberately. There's nothing to praise. Just smile. Mr. Ji Xianlin has a life motto - don't tell all the lies, don't tell all the truth. When you really can't boast, don't boast hard. But I can't help feeling that when I want to raise my thumb, I boast that people don't pay taxes and there is no upper limit to happiness. What if you praise others and don't respond? Relax, we boast about the weather, not to get any response. I like Javier's saying: "we insist on one thing, not because it will be effective, but because we firmly believe that it is right."

How hard is it to be an adult in a relationship

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Sun, 01 May 2022 14:00:57 GMT

As a child grows up, he will try to outsource his self-function to his mother. For a very young child, it's much easier for his mother to do something for him than to do it by herself, and she won't make mistakes. For example, mother cleans the room for herself, mother loves herself for herself, comforts her injured heart for herself, and so on. A healthy mother should dare to be dissatisfied or moderately satisfied with her children. From the baby's 100% satisfaction at birth, to the struggle for rights in the anal desire period, to the Oedipus period, when the child begins to develop self-function, the mother's function is gradually weakening until the child can live and psychologically independent and no longer need her. However, the occurrence of two situations will make the child unable to develop his self-function: the mother contracts too much, and the baby finds that as long as he cries, his mother can complete it for him, so that people can be satisfied through shouting instead of doing it by themselves; The mother has no commitment. The baby has hardly enjoyed the feeling of being satisfied. He uses the fantasy mechanism to be satisfied in the fantasy world, and casts this fantasy on everyone close to him. When he is not satisfied, he starts the original anger. Conflicts in intimate relationships and expectations of ideal partners are mostly due to the failure of trying to outsource their self-function to their partners. In fact, this is that the psychological nutrition needed by people in the process of growing up has not been met or needs to be castrated. After growing up, they forcibly repeat the pattern of that year. For example, as a case owner, I'm already a very excellent girl, but she can't find the boyfriend she wants. After finding it, I kept changing it. When I didn't want to change it, I secretly developed two, excluding the spare tire. She came to me in panic and said that she could always find the shortcomings of boys who liked her. Diligent people feel that without money, this city has no background, and it is too difficult to have hope by simple struggle; The second generation of the rich is rich. What should I do if his parents fall and eat nothing; I'm afraid of doing business. What if one day he gets checked; All her worries revolve around one point: none of these boys can meet my needs for a stable life. So I asked her, why not create it yourself? She said girls, of course, depend on men. For her, the sense of security and affluence she needs are not self-sufficient and need to be outsourced to a partner. I also have a case owner. She really cares about her husband's kindness to female colleagues. What she often says is: he is good to everyone. What's special about me to him. Therefore, her strong and controlled performance made her husband very disgusted, timid and depressed. So I asked her: can you find your uniqueness? Later, we found in the consultation that she could not find her uniqueness and affirm the value of her existence. So she needs to find confirmation from her partner and hope that her partner can prove her uniqueness to feel a little unique. I used to outsource my self-function to others. I used to tell myself that there was only one standard for me to find a girlfriend: when I walked down the street with her, others would look at her, point to me and say, how can this woman like him. Because I long for excellence and can't confirm my excellence, I will expect my partner to feel excellent. And I didn't know how to take care of myself at that time, so I liked mature girls older than me. Then I got along with each other for a short time. I did everything I could to kill this relationship. My work is mainly reflected in: I hope she can give me some comfort, attention, timely response, and help me cook and wash clothes. Yes, I found a mother. I outsource my needs for love, attention, recognition and response. She needs to give me these and enough dose before I feel at ease. The days after the breakup were extremely painful. The whole person was hollowed out and had the impulse to die. Until I was saved by my therapist. From my consultant, I learned: A healthy relationship should be the meeting of two independent people, and then we complete the extension of life with the help of each other. That is, I have 100 points and you have 100 points. After we were together, we became 200 points. The unhealthy relationship is: one of us has only been half a person, and the other will be forced to become 1.5 people to bear half of your life. That is, I only have 50 points. I expect you to give me 50 points to make me complete. And your subconscious mind will not want to be controlled or believe that someone can be responsible for your life and resist. Therefore, when another person does these things for you, you will not give yourself to him because you completely trust him. You will try to remain independent through various actions and proofs. So lovelorn is painful, because lovelorn is not losing a person, but losing half of yourself. When I saw this pattern, I began to decide to come out and become an independent person. I began to learn how to wash, cook and fold shirts. I began to learn how to control my emotions, deal with anger and loss, encourage myself, recognize myself and believe that I am excellent and worth it. At that time, I tried to be an independent person for the first time. Then I began to thank that relationship. If I hadn't been abandoned, I might have continued to try to let her contract all my self functions until I couldn't afford it. And I never knew how young I was. Come out from the pain, also become more gratified. This is a process of growing up. First of all, you don't have to complain about the cruelty or imperfection of the other party, because the other party shouldn't bear this part of your self function. And she will bear for you for so long, which is originally an extra part. As Satya said: Don't be sad because I left, but celebrate because I've been here. Because that's beyond the boundary. You have more. It was the first time I experienced wanting to be a real man from a little boy. An adult must first be independent, complete and have clear self boundaries. In other words, one of the basic characteristics of adults is to be responsible for their thoughts, needs, feelings and emotions. This belongs to yourself, within the boundaries of self, so you should be responsible for yourself. However, it is not easy. I have seen many people outsource their emotions to others in an attempt to let another person change to take care of their emotions. And they will show their inner lack in the form of violence or pretending to be pathetic in an attempt to get satisfaction from each other. If you don't get it, get angry or hurt. The same is true of idealizing the environment and others. Many people are not in love, they are just in love with a tool that can satisfy themselves. They cannot accept the imperfections of each other and the environment. I always look forward to meeting a lot of people in this way. These are attempts to outsource their self functions to the environment and others, hoping to be satisfied. When you're complaining about why the other person didn't do something to you, you can check: did you do it for yourself? That's what you should do for yourself. This was asked: what's the use of finding a partner. A partner is by no means a substitute for your self-function. Psychologists say it's the same to love yourself and marry anyone. I want to say that we are 100 points. Everyone we meet will be more perfect. It's just the difference between 150 points and 200 points. But for ourselves, it is enough. If you don't have a partner, you are 100 points. With a partner, you will be more perfect. How to judge whether you are 100? Can you still live happily when you don't have or if you don't have a partner. When you face an imperfect environment and difficulties at work, can you save yourself and break through, or do you expect external changes. When you feel sad and angry, do you want others to comfort you and protect you, or can you take care of your emotions by yourself. When you feel tired and have no sense of belonging and security, do you want to catch someone desperately, or can you develop the self-confidence of "people are, heart is and dream is", the courage of "the world is big and the world is home", and the peace of mind is my home ". Our incomplete self is to find someone to live for us after all. But we can't completely hand ourselves over to him, so we have to hand it over uneasily, and then prove it, failure and conflict. Or we can't find such a person who can contract us directly. So we need to become adults first, and then grow up with each other in our relationship. Becoming an adult is painful. You not only need to be responsible for yourself, but also suffer repeated setbacks. When I began to learn how to cook and fold shirts, I felt that such a big person couldn't do any of these. When I am injured and wronged, and lick my wound, I will also think of why no one can comfort me. This is just like when we started to learn to walk and dress as children. We will fall and wear backwards. We will hate our incompetence and expect our mother to finish it for us. But after all, we learned by ourselves and benefited all our lives. You can still find someone to live your self for you and contract your self function to him. It's just like your mother holding you all your life and wearing clothes for you all your life. Your life is more painful and boring. Therefore, although the pain of growth is painful, we still have to experience it sooner or later. Of course, some people have been stumbling and noisy all their life. They have been a person for a lifetime and a half and have never been independent. But I will feel that the independent sky is more free and beautiful. The world of adults is very beautiful. You will find that when you don't need to outsource your self-function to another person, you begin to appreciate this person. Before, you took the other party as a tool to meet you. Your request and payment revolved around how he gave you. You begin to really see that the other person is an individual, imperfect and fragile, and even you find that those imperfect and fragile beings form a unique him. This is to truly love a person as human existence itself, rather than loving another tool idealized by you. After my relationship lasted so long, until now one day, when I suddenly look back, I found that as a man with a lot of independence, in fact, I like young and beautiful girls. I have full love and want to give it to another person, rather than want to get anything from others. The meeting between two adults is beautiful. Because we are two individuals, fusion and separation. We are equal to each other and have clear self boundaries. And mutual support and expansion. When I have you, I am more beautiful and grateful. Without you, I am still complete and safe.

About parenting, some things my parents influenced me

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 14:05:59 GMT

Some articles I saw recently and some things I encountered around me all mentioned the problem of upbringing. Although I am familiar with the word "upbringing", I curiously Baidu the word "upbringing", and the explanation is: the state of moral cultivation in the way of behavior. It is the result of social influence, family education, school education and personal cultivation, especially the moral standard of behavior developed from childhood in the family. Well, for such a comprehensive explanation of the meaning of the word, it still makes me feel that I didn't know enough about "education" in the past. In my mind, the so-called upbringing is the habit and morality formed by parents' family education. Of course, baidu also emphasizes the moral standard of parenting, especially the behavior developed from childhood in the family. From this point, we can see that family education is actually the most important factor in a person's education level. My parents have no culture. They have only read books for one or two years and don't know much big characters, but they have taught me to form some habits since childhood and have been affecting me. For example, they repeatedly stressed to me some behaviors that should be paid attention to at the table: they can hold as many meals as they want, and can't leave leftovers; Rice bowls must be eaten clean without rice grains sticking; If you like to eat a dish, you can't just eat a dish; You can't pile all your favorite dishes in front of you; You can't use chopsticks to turn around in the dish and pick what you like to eat; When eating, people should sit well and can't put their legs on the chair. Of course, in addition to these, my parents have also taught me a lot. Their education of me has already become a habit I consciously formed. I got married last year. On the second day of the lunar new year, my parents invited relatives to a family dinner. My husband and I were there. My uncle and aunt came and a big table was full. During the dinner, my husband drank some drinks and ordered some dishes, so he gently told me that he was going to have a big meal. At that time, shortly after the dishes were served, we didn't eat much and were still drinking and chatting. I don't think it's polite for him to go to feast first, but it's inconvenient to tell him directly at the table, so he touched him with his feet several times. My husband didn't seem to understand. After a few minutes, he told me he was going to feast, but I had to go with him. He went to the kitchen for dinner and met his mother who was cooking. Her mother told him that the meal had not been cooked and told him to wait for a while. He had to sit back. Later, my mother told me that the meal was actually cooked, but she said it on purpose. I hope my husband doesn't lose etiquette. Accompanying guests is to eat with them for a while. As my husband's son-in-law, compared with my aunt and uncle's family, he is also the host. The guest is still drinking, but the host starts to eat. This is really not polite at one stroke. Of course, I know my husband didn't do it on purpose. Later, I mentioned it to him. He said that because his parents hadn't told him this since childhood, he didn't understand the daily etiquette of the dining table. Last year, I was admitted to a unit. Another girl was admitted to the same system with me and assigned to another unit. However, shortly after joining the company, I heard some "wonderful" stories about her. For example, the leader asked her to find information, and she said she was busy; She called her older colleagues by their first names; The driver of the unit kindly sent her out to do business. After she finished, she went directly back to the unit without telling the driver, so the driver waited for her for several hours; When talking about the work experience of her colleagues, she said that she would be dissatisfied with her work experience. She would have been full of thought. Her colleague said in front of a crowd that such people were poorly raised by their parents. It's really a new environment for me to enter. For the leaders and old colleagues, they all call them "you"; The leaders dare not delay anything for a minute; I'm deeply impressed that my old colleagues can give me some advice... When I go home and tell my mother something about my unit, she always says, you should remember others' good and work well. My second uncle's house is very close to my home. The second uncle's family has two daughters, my cousin and my cousin. These two sisters have not been very attractive since childhood. Once, a neighbor angrily ran to my mother and said that my cousin didn't shout when she saw her. In fact, my two cousins not only didn't say hello to their neighbors, but my mother said she didn't shout when she met her. Living in rural areas, neighbors are very familiar with each other and get along with each other closely. When I met my elders when I was a child, my mother asked me to call people, so I knew from an early age that this was uncle, that was uncle, this was aunt and that was aunt. Of course, some mothers didn't tell me what to call them, and I couldn't tell what to call them by seniority. When I met them, I smiled at them and said something. It was a greeting. People don't care what you call him. Sometimes when they see me, they will say hello to me first and say back. In fact, these things my parents taught me are all ordinary things they do every day, but they tell me with words and affect me with behavior. I once saw a saying that parents are the mirror of children and children are the epitome of parents. Yes, from children, we can always see their parents. Parents are the first teachers in children's life and natural role models for children. A child's initial behavior and morality all reflect the upbringing of his parents.

Please remember ten words in life. How many do you do?

0x2edb7a959182067e8a17bbf71fe7e0a48bd0e0bc@newsletter.paragraph.com (二头肌) — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 16:47:30 GMT

The first word: Qing. If it is not your own labor income, don't ask for it, don't give it to others, let yourself be in the hands of others, and avoid "eating people's mouth is short and taking people's hand is short." The second word: positive. The so-called "being upright is not afraid of crooked shadows". Only being upright can make people live happily and freely. This is the first key to being a man. The third word: cheap. Material desire can never be satisfied. "There are thousands of hectares of fertile land, only three bowls for a meal. There are 10000 rooms and only one bed for a night." Many things are tired. The fourth word: Jie. Don't have the wrong thoughts and want to take others as their own. This is the embodiment of low morality. I was born with a share, and everyone has to survive. Greed will affect the survival of others, and greed is the root of all evil. The fifth word: diligence. Being lazy for a long time will bring disaster to your body. Only by constantly honing yourself can some annoying things stay away from yourself. The sixth word: thrift. More things, more tired. If you pack light, you will have no worries and cheer up. Therefore, frugality is the integrity of the world. The seventh word: section. Everything must have a degree. Indulgence in any aspect may bring great damage to yourself. Festival is the foundation of life. The eighth word: about. Including some bad behaviors and habits that restrict themselves, and some psychological deficiencies. Use Liu Bei's philosophical words to exhort his son: "don't do it because it's small, and don't do it because it's small." To limit and urge their words and deeds. The ninth word: true. It's really an attitude to know things, and it's also the quality that an honest person should have. As long as everything can be realistic and pragmatic, there will be no bad things to do, and there will be no deviation in morality. The tenth word: honesty. Honesty is the way of being a man and the foundation of being a man. If a person doesn't have the sincerity to do something and be a man, there will be big problems in all aspects of you. Connecting these ten words is: integrity, diligence, thrift and sincerity. Friends, let's calm down and take some time to have a good taste!