She used to call me guapo

Penelope did

in the days when she kissed my hair

and that’s what I was thinking about

while I sat in this dive bar downtown

while I peeled the label off my fourth Miller Beer

What does it take for a man to get a cold one is this city!

that’s what I said to the bartender

girl musta been twenty-two

looked forty

she didn’t say a word to me

I don’t blame her

I guess I wasn’t the most pleasant person to talk to

I had a lot on my mind

a lot had happened over the last few days

I was going through what you might call

a crisis

just last week

I thought I had it all

the American Dream

my own business

in a cutting edge industry

The Lotus Corporation

even though it was barley legal

I had enough money to pay the right people

and enough high-priced clients

to last a lifetime

it seemed like

before Lotus

I’d just been a normal guy

slugging it out with the rest of these chumps

hoping for a little luck

looking for my piece of the pie

but Lotus changed all that

the Corporation had given me

power

and respect

but it was also responsible

for the mess I was in now

because I had blood on my hands

and a dead girl on my conscience

and what’s worse

I knew exactly how it got there

Alpha Tango Monorail

I should have known better from the start

…

At the Lotus Corporation

we use code names for the emotions we sell

Concord Beta Mousetrap

that’s the code for confidence

it’s our best seller

Rainbow Night Sierra

that’s also a popular item

we developed it for the executive type

who works hard all day

and needs a little tranquility

to escape whatever family issues they’ve been neglecting at home

so they can relax

whatever you need to feel though

for whoever you need to be

that’s our motto

come to Lotus

cut us a check

and we’ll have you feeling

just fine about your life

by the time the ink dries

at the time of the murder

we had over fifty emotions for sell

and our research department

was developing more every day

but there’s one emotion we had

that we never sold

Alpha Tango Monorail

code name for honesty

left collecting dust

on a long forgotten shelf

…

I guess it’s to be expected

working in Washington DC

serving mostly politicians

there’s not exactly

a huge demand

for honesty

take Don Adams for example

Senator from Virginia

one of our best clients

we made a killing off that guy

but you should have seen him

the first time he walked in

to the Lotus Corporation

he was a wreck

the son of a real estate baron

stumbling aimlessly through life

stoop-shouldered

bleary eyed

sallow skin with his hair messed up

this was twelve years ago mind you

and the first time I spoke with him

the guy says to me

Please

I need to make something out of myself

I need to prove it to my family

that I can be somebody

instead of a trust fund leech

which is what they say I am

but I can’t do it alone

I can’t change

without your help

how much to make me

a successful man?

well I guess we all have

different definitions of manhood

but Don Adams

he was talking about the kind

you can judge by

power

and respect

so we had that guy

jacked up on so much Concord Beta Mousetrap

that you would have sworn

he grew up All-American

true blue

hard working

varsity quarterback

a real champion of the middle class

who rose from nothing to become one of our nation’s Senators

even though

deep down

he was just a rich kid

who got made fun of in high school

but had the money to buy any future he wanted

and what he wanted most

was people to want him back

but it wasn’t my job to judge

clients paid

and I provided a service

and Senator Adams

twelve years later

decided all of a sudden

he wanted to go in a different direction

he said he needed

a new emotion

in order to create

a new image for a run at the Presidency

but I should have known something was wrong

when he asked

for Zulu Delta Terror

code name for intimidation

precursor to rage

along with confidence

a very dangerous mix

…

At the time

Senator Adams said he wanted to appear outraged

for the voters

see

there was a sensation in the DMV

a killer on the loose

a maniac

targeting young women

for random acts of violence

the murder scenes were gruesome

strange symbols carved into their skin

body parts kept as souvenirs

some of his victims were graduate students at Georgetown

others, prostitutes in rural Virginia

the killings were

scandalous

and unpredictable

the Post was calling him

the DC Slayer

the most notorious serial killer in the last twenty years

and Senator Adams

well

I guess he wanted to capitalize on that fear

and convince his voters in the suburbs

he was tough enough

to stand up to monsters like that

now if I was his campaign manager

I might have suggested

a different strategy

but like I said

I didn’t get paid

to give advice

clients wrote me checks

and I provided them with a service

that’s what I did

and whatever happened after that

wasn’t my responsibility

that’s what I thought at the time at least

and things might have stayed like that

if I hadn’t made the mistake

of dipping into my own product one day

a little taste

from an emotion collecting dust

on a long forgotten shelf

Alpha Tango Monorail

code name for honesty

I should have known better from the start.