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        <title>Cam</title>
        <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca</link>
        <description>investor &amp; infinite learner</description>
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            <title><![CDATA[Unspoken Truth About Sobriety]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/unspoken-truth-about-sobriety</link>
            <guid>3HXqyh2gVaZfJiEjHuaD</guid>
            <pubDate>Sun, 31 Jul 2022 13:29:06 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[4 months sober. There are a few untold truths about sobriety.First, let’s start with some already widely understood concepts and truths about sobriety:Bettering oneself by limiting alcohol consumption is a path forward for most. Sobriety discussions are now normal. This was not always the case. For most, there was this fear of being exiled from society if you did not drink. Society assumed that if you stopped drinking, you were an alcoholic. That the alcohol had a stranglehold on you, you cou...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>4 months sober.</em></p><p>There are a few untold truths about sobriety.</p><h3 id="h-first-lets-start-with-some-already-widely-understood-concepts-and-truths-about-sobriety" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">First, let’s start with some already widely understood concepts and truths about sobriety:</h3><p>Bettering oneself by limiting alcohol consumption is a path forward for most. Sobriety discussions are now normal. This was not always the case. For most, there was this fear of being exiled from society if you did not drink. Society assumed that if you stopped drinking, you were an alcoholic. That the alcohol had a stranglehold on you, you couldn’t control it. This fear of judgment has, by itself, prevented many folks from starting their journey even if they were curious. Couple the fear of judgment with the somewhat antiquated resources to assist anyone curious about sobriety and you have a roadblock.</p><p>AA doesn’t work for everyone. In fact, the long-term success rates <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/12-step/whats-the-success-rate-of-aa">are low.</a> That is not to say it hasn’t saved lives. It has. I have friends in AA and they love it! What I’m saying is, factually it doesn’t work for <em>most.</em> Resources for the sober community were at one point limited. It was AA or nothing.</p><p>However, over the past decade (arbitrary, but I have noticed it most in the past few years) we have seen an explosion of new books, new journalism, content creators, courses, and communities built around sobriety. Your questions are easily answered. Your yearning for a community is easily attainable. It’s all at your fingertips thanks to the internet. For that, I am thankful.</p><p>These are all truths.</p><h3 id="h-now-a-less-spoken-truth-or-even-untold-truth" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Now, a less spoken truth, or even untold truth:</h3><p>The <strong><em>process of becoming sober</em></strong> is lonely.</p><p>Yeah, I know I just listed plenty of reasons why it <em>shouldn’t</em> be: online communities, resources on the internet, and increased curiosity among the younger generation (<a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://mirror.xyz/camiadeluca.eth/neAS2R89YFOLphjYVl-g-HOGC2Ga_iyYiv55RYay1I8">see my previous post about sobriety</a>).</p><p>Many things <em>shouldn’t</em> be what they are, but they are. Like <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@clipmind/video/7064618992241020166?lang=en">how the Great Pyramid of Giza was built.</a> Makes absolutely no sense. Or why do people say “same difference” Like what? You shouldn’t be saying that. Just kidding.</p><p>Back to things.</p><p><em>Living</em> sober isn’t lonely. You learn to love and appreciate new aspects of life. You meet new people. You find new passions. This is the perspective you should be trying to obtain. This is all great.</p><p>It’s the <strong><em>process of becoming sober</em></strong> that is emotionally lonely.</p><p>The self-reflection process is lonely. You cannot self-reflect with the help of anyone else. That’s not self-reflection. That’s receiving outside counsel.</p><p>Introspection by itself is tough but necessary.</p><p>Introspection about sobriety is borderline unfair. It’s not spoken about enough. Maybe that’s because it was never made public that people feel lonely. People are given sponsors in AA to guide them and talk to them. Maybe they talk about their loneliness together and that’s great, but for the people who aren’t participating in AA, I want you to know you are not alone!</p><p>The loneliness emotion is only 1 of 8 points on what I am calling:</p><h2 id="h-the-sobriety-curve-an-8-point-experience-while-someone-works-on-becoming-sober" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">“The Sobriety Curve”: an 8-point experience while someone works on becoming sober</h2><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/a109c27b4f1d3c0dc1482941707cc18a51462f929c42299bcb60eecf84e8bf21.jpg" alt="The Sobriety Curve: the process of becoming sober and emotional points along the way" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="">The Sobriety Curve: the process of becoming sober and emotional points along the way</figcaption></figure><ol><li><p><strong>Old Normal:</strong> the life you wish to leave behind</p></li><li><p><strong>Sober Curiosity:</strong> the initial curiosity around becoming sober</p></li><li><p><strong>Decision:</strong> the decision to leave behind the Old Normal</p></li><li><p><strong>Euphoria:</strong> the high-like feeling you get from making a change</p></li><li><p><strong>Trance:</strong> the almost-stagnant state you live in when you realize “now what”</p></li><li><p><strong>Loneliness:</strong> the loneliness one experiences when they think no one can relate to their change</p></li><li><p><strong>Understanding:</strong> realizing you are happy because you get to live an entirely new life</p></li><li><p><strong>New Normal:</strong> the new life you’ve created begins</p></li></ol><p>I am now declaring this the beginning of a new 8-part writing series: <strong>The Sobriety Curve</strong>. I had no idea this was going to happen. Writing is cool. Maybe this piece will act as the “6. Loneliness”? Idk. Either way, this is how I think about the process of becoming sober. These are the emotions I have experienced or expect to experience.</p><p>It is important to note there is no fixed timeframe for the duration of this 8-point experience. It varies based on each person. Some people skip a few steps (although I disapprove and think this isn’t beneficial), and some move backward. It’s a move at your own pace, but regardless of how you move, the emotions won’t. You can’t avoid them.</p><p>Currently, I sit at stage 6: loneliness. I feel like I am <em>almost</em> where I want to be.</p><p>I am having a hard time dealing with all of the other emotions I have just experienced. It’s overwhelming. I miss the initial high of changing my life. I miss the curiosity stage. I miss sharing with others who ask! BUT, I am almost at the understanding stage! I am almost towards my new normal.</p><p>Loneliness is this feeling that no one can relate to your current situation. Wrong. I can!</p><p>There are many folks out there who can also relate to your feelings. I hope this helps and I look forward to starting this new writing series with you soon.</p><p>Cheers,</p><p>Cam</p><blockquote><p>“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”</p><p>— <em>Leo Tolstoy</em></p></blockquote>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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            <title><![CDATA[Relationship Update: Me and Alcohol]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/relationship-update-me-and-alcohol</link>
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            <pubDate>Mon, 25 Apr 2022 00:24:58 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[I’m sitting at my childhood desk in my childhood home where I spent 15 years of my life. Looking to my right I see a “FOR SALE” sign planted in the front yard. It should read “SALE PENDING”. Last week an offer was received and accepted. However, the understanding that it is sold, but not yet shown as sold, seems metaphoric in a sense. The world doesn’t know the change occurring behind the doors of our house. They don’t know there’s already been a kickstart in the moving process. Or an exchang...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m sitting at my childhood desk in my childhood home where I spent 15 years of my life. Looking to my right I see a “FOR SALE” sign planted in the front yard. It <em>should</em> read “SALE PENDING”. Last week an offer was received and accepted. However, the understanding that it <em>is</em> sold, but <em>not yet</em> shown as sold, seems metaphoric in a sense.</p><p>The world doesn’t know the change occurring behind the doors of our house. They don’t know there’s already been a kickstart in the moving process. Or an exchange of emotion that has carried weight so heavy it could sink a ship. They aren’t aware.</p><p>Yet one day the realtors will come by and plop a “SOLD” sign so the world can see the change. So the world knows a change was made behind closed doors. I could be wrong — maybe the world will see a “SALE PENDING” in the next few days — but as I sit here at one of the most pivotal times of my life relating a wooden sign to internal changes I’ve been striving to make in my life, I hope the world does not see that sign. It’s an odd example that seems to fit the script.</p><p>Self-reflection is hard. It causes feelings of embarrassment from cringe-worthy memories. It causes terror remembering situations you barely escaped. It takes courage to be honest with yourself, about yourself. You were at Point A and decided you need to get to Point B. Internally, you made that choice. But there is no “I AM CHANGING” sign planted on your forehead. The world has no clue. For me, these blogs have acted as my “SALE PENDING” sign. Not because I want you to know I am changing, but because I don’t know the best way to change. There is no set of instructions or guided directions so you <em>know</em> you are changing. There is no array of understood emotions that once you feel you can finally say “okay now I am making a change”. I’m just making this up as I go. I am using this creative outlet as a platform to both kickstart and document my change. A platform that enables me to look back on my journey. It has helped me tremendously and I thank you for taking the time to read my novice, probably monotone, writing.</p><hr><p>4 months ago I set out on a journey to redefine the role alcohol played in my life. This has proven to be the hardest self-reflection I’ve done. The last dragon to slay before you reach the kingdom type of stuff. At least that was my hope when I set out on this journey.</p><p>I’m starting to understand alcohol. I don’t fully understand, but I have begun to understand the magnitude of stress and anxiety it puts on your body. The way it affects your immune system and your sleep at night. It has been an interesting journey thus far. I want to preface these reflections with the following:</p><p><em>I have not been completely dry of alcohol in the past 4 months, but I can count the number of times I’ve been drunk on 1 hand.</em></p><p><em>I am almost 1 month without a drink as of writing this. This is a huge accomplishment for someone who was drinking most weekends for as long as I can remember.</em></p><p>Here are some observations I’ve made during the last 4 months of my life:</p><ul><li><p><strong>Exercise</strong> — started doing yoga and taking pilates classes. Not only am I working out <em>more</em>, but the quality of my exercise has gotten exponentially better. I am immersing myself in them more than ever.</p></li><li><p><strong>Sleeping bette</strong>r — less restless during my sleep, falling asleep quicker, waking up in a better mood. My Oura Ring has given me some cool data: my sweet spot seems to be between 7 and 8 hours of sleep each night.</p></li><li><p><strong>Clearer mind</strong> — battle almost zero bouts of foggy brain (this is normal IMO, people just get tired and don’t think properly, causing brain fog). But <em>one</em>, there has been almost none, and <em>two</em>, if I do get some it is most definitely not hangover brain fog. I am taking better care of my mind. Specifically, I started taking <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.amazon.com/Vibrant-Health-Plant-Based-Ingredients-Probiotics/dp/B00SK66JZ6">Green Vibrance</a> Superfood and Fish Oil. I like to think these are not placebo effects. My mind is thanking me!</p></li><li><p><strong>Finding faith</strong> — not just religiously, although that has come back, but faith in the future. I have a different outlook on life only 4 months in. Working towards smaller attainable goals compounds results to reach the larger goal 2 years from now.</p></li><li><p><strong>Exploring my curiosity</strong> — meeting new people via dates, dinners, and events, finding new coffee shops in the mornings, and walking around different parts of NYC. I have always been curious, but now that I don’t party as much it’s flaming inside of me. I have traded satisfying my ego for satisfying my curiosity.</p></li><li><p><strong>Better relationships</strong> — my friendships have increased in meaning and purpose. Conversations have been deeper and questions more intense. Sexually and intimately things have slowed but when you eliminate the drunk party scene ultimately you’ll eliminate some sex.</p></li></ul><p>All of the above can be looped into one category: <strong>Finding what I truly enjoy</strong>.</p><p>Cliche observations, yes, but they are real. You might say, “I think you could have found this happiness <em>with</em> alcohol every weekend”. To that, I say “I disagree.”</p><p>There hasn’t been an aha-type moment yet where I miraculously feel the change or flip of the house sign type moment. Maybe one day there will be? For now, I am living the same life with a new sense of appreciation. As of this moment, I am certain of one thing — alcohol has been a roadblock to progression, but this sober curious lifestyle has allowed me to detour.</p><p>Cheers,</p><p>Cam</p><blockquote><p>“There is no better high than discovery.”</p><p><em>― Edward O. Wilson</em></p></blockquote>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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            <title><![CDATA[The Hardest Decision of My Life: Sobriety?]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/the-hardest-decision-of-my-life-sobriety</link>
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            <pubDate>Sun, 30 Jan 2022 19:17:37 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[Sober Curious: Coined by Ruby Washington in her 2018 book, “Sober Curious” is a term to describe an individual who has thoughts about a life that involves no drugs and no alcohol, specifically for personal reasons, and what your life would be like without alcohol on autopilot.MeI’m not an alcoholic. I’m not a drug addict. I am a 25-year-old man looking for new pathways to become a better version of myself. Cliche, but true. This version of myself I know exists on the other side of alcohol. Th...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Sober Curious:</em> Coined by Ruby Washington in her 2018 book, “<a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="http://www.rubywarrington.com/books/sober-curious/">Sober Curious</a>” is a term to describe an individual who has thoughts about a life that involves no drugs and no alcohol, specifically for personal reasons, and what your life would be like without alcohol on autopilot.</p><h2 id="h-me" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Me</h2><p>I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not a drug addict. I am a 25-year-old man looking for new pathways to become a better version of myself. Cliche, but true. This version of myself I know exists on the other side of alcohol. The pathways to getting there I see clearly. I drink mostly on the weekends. Have been doing so on and off for the past 8 years of my life. Most individuals my age would fall into the same category of drinker — afraid to admit they binge drink too much on the weekends and mix in casual buzzes during the week. It’s your stereotypical “social drinker”. Has it led to mistakes? Of course. Led to lost items of importance? Of course. But mistakes and lost valuables aren’t the driving forces behind a potential lifestyle change. It’s deeper than that.</p><h2 id="h-why-now" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Why now?</h2><h3 id="h-its-the-hangxiety" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">It’s the hangxiety</h3><p>The dreaded <em>internal</em> shakes that I feel when hungover no matter the amount of water I drink before laying down for bed. It’s the lack of food intake the next day stemming from choking sensations. Sensations that all stem from anxiety. Anxiety stems from alcohol. However, it feels like the physical and mental effects sometimes last longer than one day. A potential flywheel that I can stop at any time. Why not now?</p><h3 id="h-its-the-wasted-money" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">It’s the wasted money</h3><p>The bar tabs at places I wake up regretting walking into. Scenes of similar-aged adults drinking and taking shots while listening to early-to-late 2000’s music like they haven’t done this a thousand times already. Expensive dinners with large groups that I won’t remember. Names that I’ll forget by dessert. The sweet, sweet sound of, “auto gratuity is added to a party of 6 or more”. Why not now?</p><h3 id="h-its-the-false-friendships" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">It’s the false friendships</h3><p>Social friends — friends with whom I associate only while drinking. They often bring no food to the table. Only a chair and utensils. This was the basis behind my previous article, <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://mirror.xyz/camiadeluca.eth/2piYqeepS_h1Q0H9cftxlMQMG9_ZzkKXokUqnLYk8f8"><em>The Evolution of Friend Groups</em></a>. Consistently evaluate your peers. It’s a necessity.</p><p>I want a small circle. Cut the social drinking and instantly that happens. You will find out who are your true friends. I firmly believe in this phenomenon. I am excited to see it play out. Why not now?</p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/drgurner/status/1485670790309814283">https://twitter.com/drgurner/status/1485670790309814283</a></p><h3 id="h-most-importantly-its-the-comfort" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Most importantly, it’s the comfort</h3><p>It’s those valuable weekends lost because of Saturday football “must-see” games at the bars. It’s the “I’m too tired” Sundays because of the former. It’s the comfort in repeating weekends that bring me no challenges. No speedbumps. No opportunities to prove to myself my methods of handling uncomfortable situations are working. No way of knowing my critical thinking process is evolving. The only free time… me time, I have during my young professional career is spent drinking on the weekends or recovering from it. Is that supposed to be fun? Where is the value in all of this?</p><p>It boils down to our priorities. Mine are changing… quickly. Growth is most important to me at this time in my life. Measurable in many different ways, it could be the first-time yoga session. Or the new club joined. How about that volunteer program you’ve wanted to participate in. What about reading that towering backlog of books in the corner of your apartment. What about writing more. Jumping outside the comfort zone of drinking on the weekends will allow me to test new waters, eventually meeting new friends. Those who will help me along this journey of self-growth whether they know it or not. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You grow as you change. Why not now?</p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/drgurner/status/1486451106976833549">https://twitter.com/drgurner/status/1486451106976833549</a></p><h2 id="h-where-to-start" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Where to start?</h2><p>I am writing this while “participating” in Dry January. I gave myself one weekend during the month to drink — the wedding weekend of a great friend of which I accompanied as a groomsman. There was no way around this one. I don’t care if you’re Super Man, it’s not happening. At least it wasn’t for me, I was drinking.</p><p>But for the remainder of January, <em>no drinks.</em></p><p>I’m still deciding where to go from there. It may be a “Rule of Three” type lifestyle where I enjoy only three drinks per week. Or maybe start it at five drinks per week. Heck, it may be <em>no</em> more drinks at all (my love for Wine is currently roadblocking this). Although it may seem contradictory to this piece, I’m curious about both sobriety and controlled drinking if the “right” situation arises. However, more often my thoughts walk the road of the former and not the latter — it seems like an all-in type of poker hand, but no bluffing is allowed.</p><h2 id="h-sober-peers" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Sober peers</h2><p>I have been fortunate to meet a few modern friends via Twitter who have unselfishly shared their stories of sobriety. I encourage anyone in their mid-20s having thoughts of sobriety or controlled drinking to read both Brooke and Sarah’s articles. I want to share a few words from each that I related to deeply:</p><p>“<a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://mirror.xyz/0x5D4f6a9f6a0dA05d317BC6a1D86B738d37AAC8b9/ZYQGheeBXQN4WbGx5HEt6XZKk_GC2w02hfaN5AJ1mgY">the decision that changed my life; becoming sober</a>” — <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/brookeleblanc">Brooke LeBlanc</a></p><blockquote><p><em>“I had become so distant to my old explorative, creative version of myself.”</em></p><p><em>“Day by day, I started to substitute my time and energy with things that actually served me.”</em></p></blockquote><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.thecut.com/2022/01/im-tired-of-explaining-why-i-dont-drink.html">I’m Tired of Explaining Why I Don’t Drink</a> — <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/sarah___wood">Sarah Wood</a></p><blockquote><p><em>“When I talk about my life without alcohol, I talk about clarity, growth, and freedom.”</em></p><p><em>“My life did not end when I stopped drinking. In many ways, it started.”</em></p></blockquote><p>In many ways, I cannot describe what I believe alcohol is blocking me from accomplishing. It’s so hard to put on paper. It’s an indescribable internal feeling. Thank god both Brooke and Sarah can articulate that feeling for all of us going through this situation.</p><h2 id="h-by-the-numbers-a-caveat" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">By the numbers: a caveat</h2><p>There is a cognitive bias known as the <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.healthline.com/health/baader-meinhof-phenomenon#:~:text=Baader%2DMeinhof%20phenomenon.&amp;text=In%20short%2C%20Baader%2DMeinhof%20phenomenon,thing%20all%20over%20the%20place.">Baader-Meinhof</a> phenomenon or frequency bias. Simply put, when you notice something new to you it tends to appear all over. There may be no increase in actual occurrence, only you started to notice it more.</p><p>As of late, I have been experiencing frequency bias. When I started to explore my curiosity of sobriety I noticed people everywhere talking about their adverse feelings towards drinking. Mostly on Twitter, but also on the streets, on YouTube, etc. Combine the frequency bias with big tech algorithms and just about anything is possible or true.</p><p>In all seriousness, Google searches for “Non-alcoholic drinks” have steadily climbed over the past 5 years:</p><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/4f6f29b523bed3df4d4771fc228ead9fd61a65f68af8c39ff6c276812ef5cdf3.png" alt="&quot;Non-alcoholic drink&quot; interest over time" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="">&quot;Non-alcoholic drink&quot; interest over time</figcaption></figure><p>To me, it seems like alcohol is a drug of the past. No benefits mentally. No benefits physically. It is simply a vehicle that allows people to gather and let loose.</p><p>Interestingly, there is a widening gap in alcohol purchases between Millenials and Gen Z. According to <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.numerator.com/resources/blog/gen-z-drinking-trends#:~:text=Only%2084%25%20of%20Gen%20Z,is%20an%20alcohol%2Dspecific%20trend.">numerator.com</a>, “only 84% of Gen Z shoppers are buying alcohol compared to 90% of Millennials, a significant 6-point differential”.</p><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/5c9ebdfb8c48f0b7210da49993d69cf011dcc86ed024c5f9dd501cfc73323aca.png" alt="Alcohol Buying by Generation" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="">Alcohol Buying by Generation</figcaption></figure><p>Context is key. The 6 point differential can be attributable to many things, but it is evident spending habits are changing.</p><p>Also worth noting, interest in newer, more mental-health-focused drugs have increased over the past 5 years. Google searches for <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://adf.org.au/drug-facts/psilocybin/">psilocybin</a>, the key ingredient in magic mushrooms, has also steadily increased over time.</p><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/35ecd9e1736d554028db4e4e5fcc8605733fd77fa0b79c74cd91d6991a02d83f.png" alt="" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="hide-figcaption"></figcaption></figure><p>As someone who has an interest in finance, research, and believes in the study of science, I tend to side with the numbers. Trends show alcohol is becoming less popular among young adults reaching the drinking age of 21. Drugs like psilocybin, which are used for <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://compasspathways.com/our-research/psilocybin-therapy/about-psilocybin-therapy/">therapeutic purposes</a>, have been gaining traction legislatively and attracting new interest throughout the country. In my opinion, there is no stopping these trends.</p><h2 id="h-ultimately" class="text-3xl font-header !mt-8 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Ultimately…</h2><p>I feel there has been a change knocking at my door. I am closer than I ever have been to shouting, “come in”. In a society where alcohol fits into everyone’s daily lives, sobriety is a touchy subject. It’s not an easy road. It’s talked more about what it can cure, rather than what it can provide. I know that the other side presents an opportunity I have been waiting for… pure self-growth and development. The hard part is knowingly walking a path that isn&apos;t freshly paved. It will be filled with potholes and cracks just like Post Road (Shout out all my Rhode Island homies).</p><p>Salut,</p><p>Cam</p>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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            <title><![CDATA[The Evolution of Friend Groups]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/the-evolution-of-friend-groups</link>
            <guid>X0ggnaNi2esG9CLXgtP8</guid>
            <pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2021 01:20:54 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[I am writing this blog a few hours removed from an extended phone chat with a new friend who conversates deeper than most. Deeper than most of my physical friends, most of my professional acquaintances, and most of my Modern Friends (thx Gaby and Ryan for this term). One thought we peeled apart was around friend groups. The narrative around friends, acquaintances, people you feel at some point “obligated” to stay in touch with. It’s a difficult conversation to have with yourself, but one I ha...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am writing this blog a few hours removed from an extended phone chat with a new friend who conversates deeper than most. Deeper than most of my physical friends, most of my professional acquaintances, and most of my Modern Friends (thx <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://gabygoldberg.medium.com/my-modern-friends-and-me-1b6e23223f48">Gaby</a> and <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://ryandawidjan.medium.com/modern-friends-e9ca5b6f855a">Ryan</a> for this term). One thought we peeled apart was around friend groups. The narrative around friends, acquaintances, people you feel at some point “obligated” to stay in touch with. It’s a difficult conversation to have with yourself, but one I have been aware of and am ready to tackle publicly — <em>the evolution of your friend group(s).</em></p><p>When I read Gaby’s 2020 <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://gabygoldberg.medium.com/my-modern-friends-and-me-1b6e23223f48">article around Modern Friends</a>, she showed <em>Dunbar’s number</em> as illustrated by <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://sketchplanations.com/dunbars-number-150">sketchplanations</a>. I wanted to leverage this.</p><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/d58e1ccdbe7073440d05fbdda76c558c7a008c1ffb3ab95d9875ffb7ce435d5b.jpg" alt="Dunbar&apos;s number, as illustrated by sketchplanations" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="">Dunbar&apos;s number, as illustrated by sketchplanations</figcaption></figure><p>At some point, you are limited by your memory. You simply can’t remember more. You can’t put in the effort to maintain any more relationships than that. It just doesn’t work. 150 is your capacity. Well, 148 to be specific, but 150 sounds better.</p><h3 id="h-the-construction-of-each-cohort" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">The construction of each cohort:</h3><p>To me, the construction and evolution of each cohort is more interesting than the idea of the cohorts themselves — the 5 “close friends” (CF), the 15 in your “super family” (SF), the 50 in your “clan”, and the 150 who are a part of your “tribe”. Interestingly, how <strong>without knowing</strong>, friends actually move from the SF status to a “tribe” member as you personally evolve. On the contrary, I see it as courageous and necessary to <strong>knowingly</strong> drop someone down a cohort due to lack of connection or relationship.</p><p>You are allowed to grow out of friendships. It’s actually important. Remember those people who were part of your 50 “clan”? The ones who you think you may be distant with? They’re taking a seat from a new friend. One who shares <strong>current</strong> interests with you, not <strong>old interests</strong> that are no longer are important to you or your growth trajectory. It just happens. These things happen with friends. Friends are not permanent, no matter the “cohort”. Seats become limited and exclusive.</p><p>The ones who are so important to you that you never want to lose them are most likely your SF or your CF. For some, it may be as easy as identifying the people who have ridden the roller coaster of high school with you. Maybe you went to college together. For others, it may take time to figure out your SF or CF. You may think you have an SF, only to realize you are no longer interested in the same things. This may lead to a weak connection over time. That’s okay. Move on.</p><p>For all my business nerds:</p><p>Friend churn is the opposite of business churn, it can be a good metric to judge a person by.</p><p>Friend retention is the opposite of business retention, it can be a bad metric to judge a person by.</p><h3 id="h-modern-friends-my-personal-cohort-reconstruction" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Modern Friends — my personal cohort reconstruction:</h3><p>My first blog titled, <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://mirror.xyz/camiadeluca.eth/QZvVAmwjYT3fJFNsdfZeBf66ZwF5XYJvpSyoxevGPSI">The Evolution of My Ego</a>, talked about my professional and mental growth. Finding new avenues of growth through unborn curiosities while I was trapped within a “wanna-be” mentality. As my “wanna-be” mentality faded, so did some of my SF friends. Naturally, some faded completely, others just became part of my tribe. Not in a malicious way. Naturally. For the longest time, I held onto these “super family” friends thinking it was wrong to let go. I’m realizing this is simply not the case.</p><p>Who joined my 150? Modern Friends.</p><blockquote><p>“Modern friends are those relationships that primarily originate and develop through digital channels (forums, email, reddit, twitter, etc).”</p><p>“Modern friends typically discover one another via shared personal interests, ‘professional’ (personal development) collaboration or friend-of-friend introductions.”</p><p>— <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/ryandawidjan"><em>Ryan Dawidjan</em></a><em>, </em><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://ryandawidjan.medium.com/modern-friends-e9ca5b6f855a"><em>Modern Friends</em></a></p></blockquote><p>Unknowingly, for the past two years, I have been replacing physical friends with Modern Friends. COVID has forced nothing but remote interaction. Everyone was forced to isolate. Not everyone was forced to take advantage of it.</p><p>Before I knew it, my cohorts had unexpectedly been flipped. Modern Friends now in my SF, physical friends now in my “clan”. I realized it wasn’t just the geographic separation pulling us apart. It was more so our interests changing. Taking advantage of isolation with the world at my fingertips, Twitter friends grew closer. Discord gave me MANY friends as I navigated the what-seems-like-fake, NFT markets (future story coming… maybe). COVID gave me Modern Friends.</p><p>I bring this up as an example of how my cohorts have shifted. How people change, people leave your life, people come into your life. It’s all normal. For me, it was done mostly through Modern Friends. For others maybe not so much. This is simply my story.</p><p>Now the harder part. An unnatural, true understanding that you have grown older, grown apart, and no longer truly feel a connection — knowingly dropping a friend due to your separation and lack of interest in each other. Not all friends blow a tire and peel off into the distance or take a left turn when you take a right, sometimes you have to be the bearer of bad news. It’s like you have no strings attached but you’re both still strumming. Someone must stop playing. This isn’t a disrespectful act. In my eyes, it’s a prerequisite to growth. Empty that seat for someone else. Who knows, maybe that original friend finds their ticket back.</p><h3 id="h-dont-think-too-much" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Don’t think too much:</h3><p>Some friends are just that, friends. They aren’t meant to push you to your limits professionally or test your intellect with deep-cutting questions, they’re just friends. I often fall into the trap of asking myself, “what does this person bring to the table?” It’s not always a test. Don’t think too much. I know I often do.</p><p>I will leave you with this:</p><p>I attended a <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://news.olemiss.edu/business-school-students-visit-oracle-omaha/">2017 conference</a>* where The Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett, once said “you are the average of your 5 best friends”. That number 5 looks awfully familiar.</p><p>Thank you for reading,</p><p>— <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/camiadeluca">Cam</a></p><p><em>*notes from our conference with Warren Buffet. This is not my chicken scratch. It is a friend’s. That of a “close friend”.</em></p><figure float="none" data-type="figure" class="img-center" style="max-width: null;"><img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/afce52d125992a5573769b89487c0ee6fcc1a8759f6b70ed29bcb931e3f4cfc9.jpg" alt="Page of notes from our trip to visit Warren Buffet" blurdataurl="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=" nextheight="600" nextwidth="800" class="image-node embed"><figcaption HTMLAttributes="[object Object]" class="">Page of notes from our trip to visit Warren Buffet</figcaption></figure>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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            <title><![CDATA[The Evolution of My Ego]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/the-evolution-of-my-ego</link>
            <guid>9stthMUOqKi6LWM3RBVX</guid>
            <pubDate>Tue, 21 Dec 2021 00:15:18 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[Investment Bankers. Gritty, smart, the creme de la creme of finance. This was my impression of these mostly male, now also female (about time), professionals. It is a career highlighted by elevated status over just about everyone, endless amounts of money, but long grueling hours. As a college student, this is what you look for in a career, right? Big money regardless of the hours it takes. As a now 25-year-old M&A Consultant, I explored many areas of work during my undergrad years at univers...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Investment Bankers. Gritty, smart, the creme de la creme of finance. This was my impression of these mostly male, now also female (about time), professionals. It is a career highlighted by elevated status over just about everyone, endless amounts of money, but long grueling hours.</p><p>As a college student, this is what you look for in a career, right? Big money regardless of the hours it takes. As a now 25-year-old M&amp;A Consultant, I explored many areas of work during my undergrad years at university. There were thoughts of law school, thoughts of becoming a physical therapist, but ultimately the goal was to become an Investment Banker. A flashy title with a high-paying salary. I really knew nothing about it when I made the decision to pursue this career. I didn’t know what a “target” school was. I didn’t know what a Discounted Cash Flow was. I didn’t know the difference between sell-side and buy-side firms, how they made money, etc. I didn’t know the grueling networking process it was going to take to even sniff an interview. The list goes on and on.</p><p>But one thing was for certain — iBankers made a lot of money and were highly regarded in the finance community. Placed on top of the financial totem pole. Answering the “what do you do for work?” question would never be dreaded. It would be invited.</p><p>This was all that mattered to me during my career search. It wasn’t exit opportunities, or what I could accomplish down the line with the experience of producing endless financial models, it was money and status. The rat race of competition. I was caught up. I guess that’s what you get when you compete against the most dominant, skilled hockey players for 18 years of your life — a never-ending quest to become and compete with the best at _____ (insert whatever the hell it is you’re currently doing).</p><p>Reflecting on my desire to work in iBanking leaves me content. I found not what I <em>want</em> to pursue, but what I <em>don’t want</em> to pursue. My ego almost prevented me from learning this.</p><p>With that said, I did accomplish the goal of working in investment banking, although it wasn’t a full-time position. It was merely a few internship positions. Technically speaking, I learned a lot. Far more than I anticipated. After both of my iBanking experiences, I accumulated a full understanding of the mergers &amp; acquisitions process, what ECM and DCM meant, the private equity lingo, the cyclicality of the Oil &amp; Gas industry, the importance of MBOE, the difference between an upstream, midstream, and downstream company. The list goes on. I learned so much. Most importantly during the summer of 2018, I unearthed a passion I did not know I had. A passion for equity research and personal finance.</p><p>Believe it or not, I had some downtime throughout these internships. To show my hard work in hopes of securing a full-time job, I started looking into 10-Ks of related industry companies. This led to adjacencies. I found companies I was actually interested in. Companies that operated in industries that were driving the future of our lives. Making a meaningful, tangible difference. I found tech companies, fertility benefit management companies, and pet insurance companies. It was an entirely new world that I was never exposed to before — <em>the stock market.</em></p><p>From there my curiosity exploded. I researched like mad. Found myself so deep in rabbit holes that I forgot where I entered. I was stuck in the depths of equity research and I couldn’t get out. Nor did I want to. I unlocked a passion I didn’t know I had. A passion to find the best companies in the world, and make money while doing so.</p><p>That passion spilled over to a <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/camiadeluca">Twitter</a> account I now hold more dearly to me than most hold their reputation. This led to an explosion of content. Content like <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/camiadeluca/status/1334538881904091141?s=20">this</a>. And like <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/camiadeluca/status/1298016476956418053?s=20">this</a>. This time around I was making money a different way. It wasn’t an investment banking salary, it was compound interest, quoted as “the eighth wonder of the world” (<em>Albert Einstein)</em>. It was fantastic!</p><p>The notion that all social media is bad is simply naive and inaccurate. Twitter changed my life. It brought me, friends, introduced me to new industries, allowed me to work with a startup, and connected me with the smartest folks I have come across. A pseudo-anonymous account with &lt;500 followers can publish the most stimulating content. It’s a gem of a platform, but a gem with blemishes. I was again (and to an extent, still am) caught up in the race while letting my ego win — how can I enhance my reputation within my Twitter community and grow my following? How can I get the most likes? Why do they have more followers than I? I post better content.</p><p>I was posting for the wrong reasons.</p><p>As I learned with investment banking, this type of mindset was not healthy. This mindset showed me I did not like the banking industry. I didn’t like the constant rat race. The endless competition and lack of empathy were uninviting. The demoralizing networking phone calls of being looked down upon because you did not know a technical finance answer. I learned to not let this happen again. This competition mindset is not going to roll over to my social media. I’m not going to let it happen. Twitter is far too powerful to sacrifice.</p><p>For all the good it has brought to me, Twitter has shown me that my ego is alive and well. It just evolves as we humans evolve. Following us around. Competitive by nature with hopes of outperforming others, our desire to boost our egos may never disappear. What matters is admitting to myself that I need to explore opportunities, share content, and for lack of better terms, “do things”, not to beat someone, but just to learn, enjoy, and have fun. Put the content first. Followers will in fact, “follow”. Be humble. Focus on yourself and learn what you want to learn. Don’t compete for followers or likes. Don’t venture solely to make money. Become uncomfortable and you may find something worth holding onto. Switch your paradigm. This is a continuous journey.</p><p>iBanking and Twitter both led me to explore other opportunities and curiosities. Curiosities that are now boundless. Not only equity research, but ones that have now branched into Web3, Crypto, heck, <strong>writing</strong>!</p><h3 id="h-moving-forward" class="text-2xl font-header !mt-6 !mb-4 first:!mt-0 first:!mb-0">Moving Forward.</h3><p>I realize the egotistical battle is not easy. It’s most likely infinite. Progression is marked by the quickness at which I notice myself falling into the trap. It’s marked by the remedies I deploy to prevent myself from thinking this way. Who knows maybe one day it won’t appear.</p><p>I have a Twitter account that I can be proud of, curiosities that I never would have thought about in university, and a whole wealth of knowledge on modeling discounted cash flows and how depreciation affects all 3 of the financial statements.</p><p>My story goes on. This is just a clip of my past.</p><blockquote><p>“‘There are no adults’. Everyone’s making it up as they go along. Figure it out yourself, and do it.”</p><p>— <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/naval/status/16258463969?s=20"><em>Naval Ravikant</em></a></p></blockquote>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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            <title><![CDATA[An Introduction...]]></title>
            <link>https://paragraph.com/@camiadeluca/an-introduction</link>
            <guid>q7uP3qPjCwxo3xYJtgY6</guid>
            <pubDate>Fri, 17 Dec 2021 01:01:45 GMT</pubDate>
            <description><![CDATA[Hi. Cam typing. This is the start of my writing journey. insert inspirational picture about how the best way to accomplish anything is to “start” Not sure why it has taken me so long to start this process. It’s something I have always wanted to do, but evidently, there has been a force blocking me from jumping out of the gate. Maybe it’s because I don’t have an idea of what I want this blog to consist of. No specificity. I embody a perfectionist mindset, so not having a game plan may have det...]]></description>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi. Cam typing. This is the start of my writing journey.</p><p><em>insert inspirational picture about how the best way to accomplish anything is to “start”</em></p><p>Not sure why it has taken me so long to start this process. It’s something I have always wanted to do, but evidently, there has been a force blocking me from jumping out of the gate. Maybe it’s because I don’t have an idea of what I want this blog to consist of. No specificity. I embody a perfectionist mindset, so not having a game plan may have deterred me from starting. Okay, that’s it. I found out why it has taken me so long. Simply from writing this one paragraph. Writing is cool.</p><p>But, I’ve realized the game plan doesn’t matter. There will be grammatical and syntax errors, but hopefully no spelling errors (thx Grammarly). So, with that said, here’s not a promise of what you will ultimately read, but rather, what I aspire my writing within this blog to consist of:</p><ul><li><p><strong>Financial Markets</strong> - equity markets, personal finance, micro and macroeconomics, &amp; more</p></li><li><p><strong>Crypto Markets</strong> - web3, tokenomics, my crypto investments, &amp; more</p></li><li><p><strong>Philosophy &amp; Psychology</strong> - article / book reactions, exploring my curiosity</p></li><li><p><strong>Randomness</strong> - expect mostly this: just a myriad of random concepts I hope to gain some insight into through researching and ultimately writing</p></li></ul><p>I also have a personal website which I will link below. I’m not sure what that space will become. It was created with a blog in mind, but once I discovered this platform there was no going back. Thank you and welcome aboard!</p><p>Please find my social links below:</p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://twitter.com/camiadeluca">Twitter</a></p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/cameroniadeluca/">LinkedIn</a></p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow ugc" class="dont-break-out" href="https://camiadeluca.xyz">Personal Website</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
            <author>camiadeluca@newsletter.paragraph.com (Cam)</author>
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