The class began with music and noise-making and I thought that would be the thing to light her fire. Instead, it made her cling tighter. Her little arms wrapped my legs in an unreasonable embrace that wanted neither of us to budge. I had a flush of panic: “Oh no she hates it. Oh no I’ve waited too long to “socialize” her. Oh no she’s somehow deficient. Bad mommy. Bad, bad mommy!” But soon, with the help of the gentle class leader, I let those anxious thoughts pass and came back to the moment with my girl. 

Instead of rushing her to be like the others, I gave us both some space. We stood back from the group and watched. We turned and looked all around us, taking in the expanse of the room, seeing the shapes and colors of the equipment, noticing sunshine landing on a low beam near a window. The truth is there was a lot to take in and just observing was enough. Soon, her grip on mama loosened. Next, a ginger step in the direction of the class. And then, an enthusiastic round of applause as a classmate completed a skill. By the end of the hour, though still not ready to swing from the rings, she was toddling about, engaged and smiling.

***

Obi means magic. Last month I left my 9to5. This week I started something new that, although exciting, makes me a little scared. It’s a new environment, with new ways of being and a new set of peers that fascinate and humble me with their skill and confident movements. I’ve had moments of panic: “Oh no, I’m not accomplished enough. Oh no, I’m too old for this. Oh no, what if I waste my chance. Again.” 

Recoiling at the fear and uncertainty, I’ve browsed job openings or entertained recruiter emails. There’s a part of me that wants to cling to the comfort of what I already know and another part prodding me to hurry up and be amazing in this new venture. But then I take a step back and look at my life. I remember my little joy and do my best to allow the same gentle patience for myself as I hope the world will continue to have for her.

The truth is, sometimes the most magical things begin slowly. Sometimes simply being present with the possibilities is sufficient. Maybe, I’ll soon be ready to take a leap and laugh at the soft landing. And if the best I can do right now is observe and cheer on my new friends, that’ll be enough.

***

🌷

at every decade I’m surprised

to learn i’m still the same flower

ever-blooming with the promise of fruit

Published February 11, 2022

Some are baffled at how an innocent tweet about working hard for success could have snowballed into cancel campaign that involved racism, homophobia and misogyny.

It was not the first instance where this person promoted overworking as, not just an option, but as a necessity for success.

What people aren’t saying enough: promoting overwork carries the same energy as promoting prejudice. Call it toxic masculinity, call it whiteness supremacy, call it whatever. It’s the same energy.

Web3 is a revolution. And it shouldn’t just be about tools and technology. It should be about culture. I’m seeing too many people, well intentioned though they may be, rushing to recreate the very same ills we are trying to escape. Unfortunately new tech means that remaking can create a working/business culture orders of magnitude worse, more pernicious than what we’ve already seen.

You may argue that creating something new requires a great deal of sacrifice. I don’t disagree. However, I think that just underscores why we need to be thoughtful about the working culture. The thoughts, energy, intentions, !vibe we carry as we create will make up the body of our creation. Companies, products, communities become egregores. And even if the creators change or have remorse later, that entity lives on with the character given to it at it’s birth. Entities created in a culture that promotes overwork are instatiable monsters that demand people “grind” themselves into dust to feed them.

A few tweets, for context

https://twitter.com/Cooopahtroopa/status/1480749116279824384

https://twitter.com/ObiElledge/status/1480890527830757378

Sadly, the quoted tweet may be unavailable to you because the OP had to locked down their account due to harassment. Essentially, they said they were calling out the person for promoting overwork.

https://twitter.com/ObiElledge/status/1481063320102834177

Personally, I’m much less offended by a misguided teen trying to sound cool, than I am by an adult who has simply morphed mysogynistic energy into language that’s more acceptable for the times. Apology is only genuine if you’ve taken the time to really see yourself in the mistake and examine what part of your personality or belief system remains unchanged, even after 10 years.

https://twitter.com/Cooopahtroopa/status/1481060726307500038

The last two or three years have been a wild ride. Both on a personal and global scale, I’m reminded that “the best laid plans” are often smashed to bits by the multivalent nature of our reality.

In 2019 I thought I knew, more or less, what my career path might be. Now, the burgeoning Web3 space has blown open the doors of possibility I feel myself wanting to take a step back and rethink it all. I’ve been a crypto advocate since 2017, but now I’m feeling more curiosity than conviction; more in the mood for exploration than execution.

https://twitter.com/ObiElledge/status/1478844105803415557

The truth is Web2 has been fairly lucrative for me so leaping out into the amorphous Web3 space is a significant risk. I’ve always been big on setting intentions for where I want to go. This time it feels a bit like having roadmap to navigate the ocean. Both thrilling and terrifying.

https://rarible.com/token/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e:23888398522000192367330780186082753000350167823563523191435261953377887584267?tab=owners

Ultimately, I know that following the call of my heart will lead me to where I want to go. Right now that means collecting art and building community. The two pieces linked here for from my NFT art collection.

https://rarible.com/token/0xd07dc4262bcdbf85190c01c996b4c06a461d2430:271447?tab=owners