Author’s Note: This is a work of fiction, inspired by real events in DeFi history. Characterizations are not meant to be literal, as they are used for the purposes of entertainment. Much love to all involved in the ecosystem.

Under the gloom of the of Ethereum district, the Burn Alley bore witness to a solemn spectacle. Andrea stood resolute before the Balancer DAO firing squad, his figure stark against the alley's faded echoes of digital commerce. Fernando, a silent, authoritative figure, stood beside Solarcurve, whose triumph flickered in his eyes like a sinister flame.

Humpy, perched atop an obsolete contract, watched, torn between the unfolding reality and the world he once knew. In Andrea's calm demeanor, there was no trace of regret or fear.

The air, charged with the blockchain's unseen hum, grew heavy as the firing squad raised their weapons. Andrea's mind drifted to his first confrontation with Solarcurve in the DAO, a memory etched with betrayal.

In the bullrun's dawn, Andrea had been integral to the DAO, guiding its course with expertise and insight. Yet Solarcurve's presence, initially a minor irritant, grew into a force that undermined Andrea's influence, culminating in a vote that shifted the DAO from Ballers to Maxis—a direct attack on Andrea's standing.

Solarcurve, master of the DAO’s dark arts, twisted his words into weapons. His relentless assaults on Andrea, a storm of deceit, left doubt in their wake. The vote's passing marked more than a mere shift in power; it was a deep betrayal. The DAO, once a symbol of unity, had decayed into a pit of political games. Andrea, once at its heart, now stood exiled, his achievements erased by Solarcurve’s spite.

Within Andrea, a quiet rage burned, a tempest of the soul. It was not just anger but the deep wrath of a man betrayed, his ideals and dreams crushed. The DAO had turned its back, leaving only echoes of betrayal in its wake.

Alone, Andrea made a vow, not to unseen gods or market spirits, but to himself. It was a promise of retribution, a path to right the wrongs inflicted. This was not the end of his tale in the DAO; it was the start of a crusade to bring back balance to a world upended.

From his fall, Andrea vowed to rise, not just to reclaim his stature, but to redefine the DAO itself. Solarcurve, the cause of his fall, would soon face the wrath of a man wronged, as unforgiving as the relentless desert.

In DeFi City's grand theater, a peculiar new figure emerged. Humpy, an egg-man clad in blue, entered the Balancer DAO's spotlight. His entry cost was significant – his own heart of gold, a powerful relic from the Magic Kingdom. Andrea, familiar with such wonders, recognized the depth of Humpy’s sacrifice.

Within the council, Humpy moved with precision, orchestrating the flow of tokens to his pools with each vote. As he amassed wealth and influence, the DAO's very essence seemed to diminish, drained by the design of its own making – a merciless free market.

Amidst the DAO's growing unrest, Andrea saw a reflection of his own struggles in Humpy. It seemed unjust to challenge Humpy’s earned power, bought dearly with his investment and conviction.

Adopting the role of 'il Consigliere,' Andrea reached out to Humpy. Their secret communications, exchanged via carrier pigeons, formed a dance of concealed moves and strategies. Humpy's initial coldness thawed into a bond of alliance.

Side by side, they navigated the Balancer DAO's challenges, their unity a shield against growing opposition. Andrea's joy lay not in wealth but in sustaining the DAO's decentralized spirit and subtly undermining Solarcurve.

As their struggle within the DAO continued, rumors of a larger conflict touched DeFi City's streets. News of Emperor Buterin's explorations hinted at the coming Layer 2 Warring States period, a time set to transform the decentralized landscape.

In the chambers of the Balancer DAO a stratagem wrought from the depths of cunning and desperation unfolded. The DAO, once a bastion of equitable trade and open opportunity, now showed its hidden hand against Humpy.

Caps were introduced, seemingly innocuous rules that cloaked their true intent. “Only up to 2% emissions per gauge,” they declared, a stricture on the Balancer gauges that seemed fair in light but was treacherous in shadow. These caps were daggers aimed at Humpy’s growing influence, an attempt to bleed him of the yields he sought.

Yet, in this labyrinth of deceit, there lay a loophole. TetuBAL, a name of insignificance, now glimmered with untapped potential.

With the precision of a master tactician, Andrea guided Humpy towards this unassuming vessel for his mammoth gains. “Take your stand in TetuBAL,” Andrea urged, his words a beacon in the fog of war. And Humpy, with the weight of his investments and the fire of their shared purpose, did just that. He moved his might into TetuBAL, transforming it from a forgotten tributary into a roaring river of yield.

The effect was immediate and profound. TetuBAL, under Humpy’s shell, began to throw off yields like a tempest, its APY a siren call to investors far and wide. The duo, Andrea and Humpy, ascended, their influence swelling as TetuBAL climbed the ranks, dethroning AURA as the reigning veBal wrapper.

The reaction was a maelstrom of anger and fear. AURA, once the undisputed champion of the veBal realm, watched its throne crumble as TetuBAL, powered by the unlikely alliance, surged ahead. The corridors of the DAO buzzed with the names “Andrea the fallen” and “Humpy the whale”—titles borne of envy and awe.

In a desperate counter, AURA proposed a cap, a bid to stem the tide that threatened to overwhelm them. They sought to limit the vebal wrappers to a meager 10% of rewards, a chain meant to bind Humpy to the stagnant waters of TetuBAL. But the proposal fell, crushed under the weight of the duo’s newfound power.Victory, elusive and fleeting, proved a desert mirage in their struggle. Andrea, seizing a decisive moment, presented his counterproposal – a masterfully crafted call for DAO balance, designed to prevent power centralization. With Humpy's influence, triumph seemed more than likely; it felt certain.

Yet, the DAO's inner circle, shadowed figures of power, strayed from their path of justice. In a staggering move, they called for a revote on the defeated AURA proposal, an act defying the DAO's very principles. Their words, "We must revisit the past," echoed ominously, signaling a dire shift in the council's heart.

This wasn't merely bending rules; it was a fracture in the DAO's foundational trust and ethos. The founders, original BAL holders, now turned their votes into weapons of influence, overwhelming Andrea's proposal in a wave of duplicity.

The once-overturned AURA proposal resurrected and triumphed – a deceitful phoenix rising from its ashes. Andrea and Humpy, once pillars of the council, were now sidelined, their power and influence eroded. The chamber, a former haven of unity, was marred by betrayal.

A profound silence fell over the DAO. Andrea and Humpy, once visionaries of a golden era for DeFi City, stood as mere onlookers in a drama twisted by the few. The city's future, once radiant with hope for decentralized fairness, now hung precariously, commandeered by those sworn to safeguard it.

In DeFi City's maze, where fortunes ebbed and flowed, urgency hung in the air, tangible as the mist on the streets. The alley escape, a forewarning, showed the city's political ballet could no longer hold its delicate balance. On the horizon, the Layer Two Warring States period loomed, a dark shadow over the blockchain, like dawn breaking over a digital battlefield.

The Bald Baron, enigmatic and feared, disappeared from the council, leaving a legacy of rug-pulled coins and a chilling declaration: he would mastermind the L2 wars, crafting a token of unmatched power.

Faced with this threat, the Balancer DAO convened, crafting a peace treaty to steer DeFi City’s fate. The treaty, a patchwork of clauses, aimed to heal their societal rifts:

• Aura retracted support for the veBAL Wrapper Stableswap Pools cap, averting a governance crisis.

• Discord-fueling proposals on second voting, council guidelines, and blacklisting were put aside, too divisive to pursue.

• No hard caps on the tetuBAL gauge, a nod to Humpy, who agreed to cap his voting power at 17.5% per gauge and to back pools beneficial to Balancer's growth.

• Humpy would start unwinding his veBAL position, a gesture for the DAO's wellbeing.

As they prepared to seal the treaty, Solarcurve delivered a cold ultimatum: "To grant Humpy peace, Andrea must be executed by firing squad."

The room stilled, Solarcurve's gaze on Andrea, who stood stoic, understanding beyond the immediate fear. "Sign it, Humpy," Andrea said, a steady voice amid the storm. "For our dream, for Balancer, for the city's future."

With a heavy heart, Humpy signed the treaty, sealing a deal etched in DeFi City's memory.

In the Burn Alley of the Ethereum district, as Andrea faced the firing squad, the sun bore witness to the end of an era and the birth of a new chapter in the annals of the Balancer DAO.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the alley. In the growing darkness, Humpy’s form was a solitary silhouette, a figure made black by the world he inhabited — a world where heroes and villains traded places with the flicker of code, where dreams were as fragile as the wings of a butterfly in a storm.

The loud report of 23 rifles filled the air.

In the silence that followed, Humpy turned away, his steps echoing in the empty alley. The chapter of Andrea and the Balancer wars had closed, but the story of DeFi City, with its triumphs and tragedies, its alliances and betrayals, continued to unfold, written in the immutable ledger of the blockchain.

Our yields are massive and we are cooking. Through the guidance of the whale, the ingenuity of the team, and the good behavior of the Golden Boys we have reached an impressive milestone: stability.

Token Health

Over the past month, our liquidity has increased significantly. This is a good thing, although some of our boys seek lower liquidity because of the increased volatility it brings to a early project with low exposure.

The yields on Arbitrum are very good. And remember - APR is calculated off of a point in time. If you expect the tokens earned to increase in value, the earning potential is potentially much higher. Humpy has mentioned in TG that he will be using his AURA Power to boost rewards even further.

The monthly burns continue as promised, and the scarcity of Gold is reaching an inflection point…

Development

The developers who contribute to Gold have been hard at work to make sure the deployment of the GoldAURA Vault happens without a hitch. Beyond the code base, there have been ongoing considerations from a business perspective. However, it appears that the time is ripe…

The team plans to stealth launch the GoldAURA Vault product in the coming week to make sure the product works. Relax, and enjoy, as we risk our AURA for the good of the community and ensure the smart contract operations work properly. The last thing we want is a big error and everyone’s AURA gets locked. GoldAURA Vault is a long term value add for us. Patience brings rewards here. It will also give us a new product to market to the AURA community, which in turn, adds market exposure to $GOLD. The Vault will also create a sustainable revenue stream for funding team operations that doesn’t involve GOLD payments - this means more resources to do things, without selling pressure.

Our lead developer is wholly focused on ensuring that the launch of this product goes off smoothly. The web design is coded in a dev environment and looks to be functioning, but we need to test it in the wild. When all is safu, we’ll unveil our beautiful vault page. When the AURA is flowing in, we anticipate a return to thinking about products to build for $GOLD.

Marketing

October was a month of frenetic energy, experimentation, and organizing a reliable team of people who can contribute to marketing. It was also about testing the various segments of the market with GOLD.

What we’ve learned may not come as a surprise: the product is a fit to DeFi chads who have experience on-chain. To a much lesser extent, we appeal to the memecoin pump chasers. At our phase of growth, we have such tremendous liquidity size that the people who wish to risk their ETH on hypervolatile charts are best served by other projects. Meanwhile, the core DeFi community around Gold builds slowly, steadily, all the while gaining ample yields.

We continue a steady drumbeat of activity on Twitter, DeBank, in communities, and now with these channels being handled, our blog’s activity will fire back up. This means more project updates here (and more lore soon). Zealy is also in its earliest phases, and while it does not bring the DeFi chad whales we know to be GOLD’s core audience, it’s important to develop a community of higher quantity who are willing to help engage with all of the things we release. It makes us look better, appear in trending searches, and facilitates algo boosts.

The marketing team has an ambition to produce a high quality 3d video for the glory of Humpy and the Golden Boys. We’re negotiating a contract and making sure the treasury can support it. Should this asset be created, it will be used when the time is right.

In addition to this, website upgrades are in motion…

NFTs

Famous community members are cooking the first ever Golden Boys NFT collection. The artwork is correct. The logistics of the NFT are still being drawn up. In summary, Golden Boys can expect beautiful artwork glorifying Humpy to arrive to their wallets; for the general public - whispers of a free mint?

Humpy

As always, Humpy moves with grace and size. His pontifications on market opportunity are nothing less than staggering. Cling to his every word - dissect his every cryptic GIF… for therein lies the secret to your wildest dreams… We dare not write more here, lest the egg-man assassins silence us (forever).

Final Thoughts

The team contributing to GOLD works in the style of a lab. We are trying things. Once in a while, the thing we try works - and it works very well. Rejoice in your opportunity here to enjoy stability and safety. Earn the yields granted to the holders of the coin. Be patient; because opportunity - more value - and the golden path is being built, brick by brick.

GoldenBoys ($GOLD) is a coin that alloys DeFi and Memes into a single ERC-20. DeFi provides utility and memes provide magic and entertainment. As a team of veteran Web3 builders, we strongly believe that generating memetic energy, a positive on-chain experience, coupled with sustainable DeFi utility makes $GOLD a product of rare quality in the wild on-chain world.

We will discuss the DeFi side of $GOLD, the meme side, and then introduce the figure known as “humpy”.

The DeFi Side (srs business)

Many DeFi projects are little more than unsustainable ponzi schemes that promise an alluring APR that invariably ends with someone getting burnt. Here’s why this happens:

Common DeFi Problem: Buy Generic ERC-20 Shitcoin and stake it to earn APY in the selfsame Generic ERC-20 Shitcoin. End result? Generic ERC-20 Shitcoin inflates itself 2-10x supply over 12 months and turns into bag dust.

How $GOLD Generates Triple Digit APY and solves this problem:

$GOLD has low inflation. $GOLD has a fixed supply set to 1 million tokens (tokenomics info here). $GOLD averages to only 10% inflation per year.

$GOLD has high yields. At the time of writing, you can earn 90-100% APY in Balancer tokens by contributing to $GOLD Liquidity Pools.

• Balancer is one of the most respected and innovative DEX

• Balancer emits BAL token rewards to LPs that the DAO votes on

• $GOLD is a DeFi coin created by a legendary DeFi whale, Humpy; he is the second largest governor of the Balancer DAO

• The DAO voted to direct 12% of all Balancer emissions to $GOLD Liquidity Pools

• Right now $GOLD holders are providing LP to Balancer in various pools and earning triple digit APY, paid in Balancer tokens, while holding a base asset that only inflates 10% per year.

Elegance. Simplicity. No convoluted ponzinomics. Merely utilize GOLD as a yield farming asset and acquire copious BAL rewards.

The Memes “seems everyone enjoys being in a cult led by a whale dressed as an egg from a nursery rhyme.  guess we'll roll with that” - $GOLD Community Member

$GOLD has the unique advantage of being minted by a literal DeFi legend, Humpy. The $GOLD marketing team is carefully building a Web3 fairy tale and generating a memetic egregore to unleash upon the psyche of the world.

Follow us on Twitter @goldonbase

What’s in the Future for $GOLD?

Our team of DeFi artisans are hard at work developing new DeFi products to enrich the $GOLD ecosystem. For the best alpha, make sure you stay active in our community hubs. Here’s what we have confirmed:

• GoldAURA Pounder Vault

  Inspired by graviAURA, Golden Boys are developing an auto-compounding vault where users can deposit their AURA to receive steady passive income. 5% of all fees generated by this vault will be used to BUY and BURN Gold. This product is a needed DeFi utility and will likely capture millions in TVL, which could result in 2,000 GOLD or more buying burnt each month. This will put a constant deflationary pressure on GOLD.

• Omni-Chain $GOLD

  While GOLD is native to Base, the product must be interoperable to maximize utility and benefits to holders. The development team is progressing on a Layer0 implementation of a cross-chain token.

  This will allow $GOLD to maximize yield-farming opportunities for our holders, such as getting a 1.5x boost to our LP with in the addition of ARB token incentives by creating $GOLD LPs.

In Retrospect

The $GOLD project creates valuable DeFi products for holders of $GOLD and adjacent ecosystem protocols like Balancer, Aura, and L2 Networks.

$GOLD has impressively achieved a high APY yield-farm opportunity while protecting users with low-inflation, and has a progressive product roadmap to maximize future yields and apply new deflationary mechanisms.

Beyond this, the sky's the limit. $GOLD was minted by Humpy, an enormously wealthy and influential DeFi maximalist. Our team is comprised of Web3 professionals with vast experience in development, marketing, and DeFi design.

If you’re a DeFi maxi or a lover of memecoins, we invite you to join our community and get to know us.

Find our socials on humpysgold.eth.limo

Chapter 3: The Balancer Wars Part 1

Humpy arrived in DeFi City, driven by a singular obsession: to become the realm's richest egg. The towering skyscrapers of data blocks pierced the sky, their shimmering surfaces reflecting a kaleidoscope of neon lights. The air was thick with the electric hum of transactions, occasionally punctuated by the distant chime of successful trades. The ground beneath him vibrated with the pulse of the blockchain, while the scent of freshly minted tokens wafted through the air, a tantalizing promise of the riches that lay within the city's walls. In the shadows, smart contracts were whispered and deals were made. The city was a dazzling maze of chaos, flashing lights, and vaporware promises. Here, fortunes could change in a heartbeat; a city where a few won big, but many more were left with empty wallets.

But Humpy was no ordinary egg. He navigated through a world filled with crooks and rug pullers, managing to build his fortune bit by bit. Yet still, there were people with golden hoards far greater than him. After a few years, Humpy realized he couldn’t achieve his dreams without some creative thinking. There was a currency more valuable than gold: and its name was influence. Humpy needed political connections to take himself to the next level. He set his sights on the Balancer DAO.

The price was terribly high. This was no ordinary club. To gain entry, the DAO demanded Humpy give them his heart of gold. His yolk froze when they asked, yet every ounce of his instinct knew that this was the path to achieve his dreams.

Humpy wished the alchemist was around to advise him. If he forsook his heart of gold, was he giving up his ability to become a golden egg forever? And would it be enough - to be the richest egg in the realm - so he could become a powerful whale? But the alchemist was not there. He would pay their price, make his fortune… and then somehow, someway, he would get back his heart of gold.

Humpy refused the sedatives the egg surgeon offered.

“I need to remember this pain,” said Humpy, “so I never forget the price I’ve paid...” The surgeon’s egg-spoon hovered over his shell, glimmering in silver light. Then, it cracked his shell open. Humpy’s screams tore the air.

That day a part of him was torn away, a part that he might never get back. But the sacrifice was necessary for what lay ahead. The heart of gold, a symbol of his purity and innocence, was now in their hands, and with it, a piece of his soul.

–

Humpy's first weeks in the DAO were a whirlwind. He was eager to make his mark, to prove that he was more than just an up-and-coming tycoon. But his aggressive moves didn't sit well with everyone.

A faction within the DAO, the Balancer Maxis, often whispered about in hushed tones, was led by a figure of intrigue—a man distinguished by his turban, known only as Solar Curve. These Maxis weren't just gatekeepers; they were the heart and soul of the protocol, having been there since its inception. In Humpy, they saw not just a disruptor, but someone whose unchecked ambitions might tilt the scales.

As he navigated the treacherous waters of DeFi politics, the weight of his decisions and the compromises he made were always shadowed by the absence of his golden heart. It became a silent witness to his journey, a symbol of the price of ambition.

During this conflict, Humpy met Andrea, an existing delegate in the DAO. Andrea, with his own interests and a history that intertwined with some of the Maxis, became Humpy's consigliere. Andrea's knack for spotting opportunities and his intricate knowledge of the DAO's inner workings made him invaluable to Humpy.

The strategy was simple: use Humpy’s significant wealth to take positions in relatively unknown liquidity pools, then leverage his massive governance power. By the time the governance vote had passed, other players were effectively priced out.

The Balancer Maxis, led by Solar Curve, recognized the potential risks of Humpy's strategies. Every two weeks, Solar Curve introduced new BIP proposals to shut down Humpy’s scheme. Humpy pivoted, exploring newer, smaller pools. Badger, Cream, Digg, vote after vote, pool after pool, Humpy’s wealth grew faster than he could count.

The Balancer DAO realized this wasn’t just an egg - this was a master player who had sacrificed everything to sit at the governors table. The DAO organized their biggest votes. In a set of sweeping policies, Solar Curve and the Maxis destroyed Humpy’s ability to farm his rewards.

That night, Humpy’s clothes were ragged and his voice hoarse as he stalked across the plush interior of his opulent penthouse. “How could they do this to me?” Humpy shouted. “I’m so close, and they destroy our CREAM/WETH farm… Don’t they know who they’re dealing with?”

After all, Humpy just needed one last, big play to become the richest egg in all the realm. But Solar Curve’s BIP policy interfered with his ability to gain precious token rewards in micro-cap liquidity pools. Humpy was stuck with too much veBal and not enough cold, hard cash to fulfill his dreams of becoming a whale…

Then, a glimmering new opportunity appeared: the TetuBAL Liquidity Pool. There was a loophole in the TetuBal liquidity pool’s condition's that would allow Humpy one final high yield farm with uncapped balancer rewards. It could secure Humpy as the richest egg in the realm and give him an unbreakable advantage in the DeFi city economy.

Humpy felt a weight in his yolk, a gnawing uncertainty that he hadn't felt in a long time. Memories of past failures and the haunting echo of sacrifices made threatened to paralyze him. Every decision carried the weight of destiny, and the fear of making the wrong choice was a constant shadow.

“Seize the chance,” Andrea whispered, his eyes glinting, “This is your moment… pump the TetuBAL bags, Humpy…"

The potential profits were too good to ignore. Humpy took his position in the TetuBAL pool. Then Andrea introduced the proposal at the Balancer Governance Table.

As Andrea introduced the proposal, he locked eyes with Solar Curve. The room was thick with tension. The vote passed that night.

The mood was sour in the governor’s room. Humpy smirked at the Maxis, the Aura Delegates, and everyone who had tried to keep him from  his endgame. “Humpy gets his yields,” he muttered as he left.

–

As the contentious meeting drew to a close, Humpy and Andrea decided to take a walk through the neon-lit streets of DeFi City to clear their minds. The city's vibrancy usually offered a welcome distraction, but tonight, the weight of the meeting hung heavily between them. The digital billboards flashed their ever-changing messages, and the usual buzz of the city felt distant as they walked side by side, lost in thought. They passed down an alleyway.

The air grew cold, and an eerie silence descended. Shadowy figures appeared in front and behind them. Before they could react, they found themselves surrounded, ambushed from all sides. It was Solar Curve. "Humpy, give it up. You’re going to destroy Balancer.”

Humpy put his hand on Andrea’s arm. “You don’t know what you’re talking about - I’m just an honest farmer,” he said.

“You didn’t do your due diligence!” cried Solar Curve. “There’s a looper contract in the TetuBal pool. You’re trapped in an illiquid position.”

Time slowed down around Humpy. His mind raced. His yolk pounding, he realized that it was true. There was a Looper Contract that he had missed.

Then, time restarted. “Take his private keys,” commanded Solar Curve. The ambushers leaped at them.

Andrea screamed, but Humpy moved with the cool desperation of a cornered egg; he activated a powerful ability he had learned during his early days in DeFi City—a flash loan exploit.

With a quick command, he executed the flash loan. The alleyway lit up with the blinding light of ten thousand shimmer heikin ashi candles, disorienting the attackers.

Seizing the moment, Andrea activated a privacy shield. "Now, Humpy! Let's go!"

They dashed out of the alleyway, their hearts pounding. Once they were at a safe distance, they became visible again. Humpy murmured to Andrea, "There must be another way, a path where we don't constantly clash with the Maxis. My assets, our future... it's all at stake."

The game's chapters were still unfolding. In Humpy's eyes, where once blazed a fiery ambition, now shimmered a nuanced glint—perhaps an awakening to the idea that in this intricate ballet of power, there were moments to lead and moments to follow the dance's rhythm.

Ah, my dear Golden Boys,

Firstly, I must commend the faithful who have not swayed, holding their GOLD with the wisdom of an ancient whale rider like I was in my days of youth. But your woeful cries roused me from my golden throne and I have descended from the mountain to present you with this bulletin, etched in golden tablets, for you to feast your miserable hopes upon.

The Sacred Ritual Commences

The universe has its ways, and so does the master of GOLD. A ritual most sacred has been inaugurated.

A ritual of sacrifice.

Are you asking, “What kind of deity demands sacrifice?” Well, my obtuse followers, every ritual has its significance. Every month I will cast 6000 GOLD into irrecoverable abyss of 0x000000000000000000000000000000000000dEaD. Await, as is your wont to do, the preparation of many rituals in my honor and the GOLDEN BOYS.

INFORMATION ON THE HONEYED RELEASE OF GOLDEN INCENTIVES FOR THE HUNGERING POOR

Fret not, my ignorant little ones, for humpy knows what he is doing.

There will be minimal inflation, only 250 Gold per week to stakers in 99/1 pool. Once BAL tokens start dripping to the pool. The 1750 GOLD that was distributed to 50/50 pool will CEASE.

Multisig is vested over 3 years, dripping 2884 per week. Of that 1500 to be burnt(6000 monthly). Remaining GOLD will stay in multisig and used sparsely for development/wise marketing. Not 1 GOLD will be spent frivolously.

Art Contest Winner: Kudos to the Artful @Cudo

To amuse me, a momentary break from my occasional disdain of the very wretched “people” whom I have deigned to uplift upon my cetacean back: Congratulations to @Cudo, the visionary who has been crowned with 25 precious GOLD for his unparalleled art creation. Remember this, Golden Boys - every gold nugget has its shine. More contests beckon; prepare your creativity.

For the work done in my honor, I cast a generous nod toward submissions 2 - 8 - 16.

Balancer Gauges and the D-day

THE BALANCER GAUGES WILL FLOW REWARDS TO OUR GOLDEN POOLS. WHAT OTHER DEV CAN GRANT YOU SUCH A GIFT IN A WHISPER OF TIME? AND YET YOU FRET STILL, WRINGING YOUR HANDS IN FEAR? RECKON THE DATE: September 21st. The Balancer Gauges awaken from their slumber. Especially noteworthy is the 50 GOLD / 25 WETH / 25 USDC pool, which will bask in the glory of the largest share of Balancer rewards.

Until the next time my Golden Boys, remember this: I may sometimes look down upon your naivety, but deep down, it's all for the greater good. In humpy you trust, and trust you must. Now, for the glory of Humpy, mint this blog and let it be known to all!

From the office of the Golden Egg,
humpy

Chapter 2: The Journey to the Ocean and the Heart of Gold

Scorned by the golden geese and his egg brothers, mocked by the adventurers, all because he was cursed to live life as a pink egg… **It was all too gruesome.**With a final glance at the moonlit sky, Humpy threw himself into the river.

Blub... blub... blub...

As he sank deeper and deeper, Humpy waited for the end. He craved to feel his shell strain under the water pressure and give him a sweet release he had never known. But instead of cracking, he was swept away by the current’s increasing speed. Before he knew it, the river had carried him into the vast ocean.

"In this endless blue, will I finally crack?" Humpy wondered, his thoughts tinged with both hope and frustration.The waves of the ocean floated him this way and that way, until, like his dreams of being a golden egg boy, he began to sink… down, down into the depths where the light leeched out of the water and the coral vanished into a single dark abyss of down only.

It was dark here. And cold. But it was no worse than the cruel clutch of his home nest.Just when he thought he couldn't go any deeper, where surely nothing could survive except his lonely self, a magnificent being soared through the water beside him. Humpy found himself in the presence of a majestic whale. The whale's belly shimmered in a hue of gold, and around it swam a family of smaller, but equally magnificent baby whales. For what seemed like days, Humpy had been subject to the ebbs and flows of the water. But these whales made the ocean respond to their motions. His tiny egg body was caught up in a current around the largest whale and he was brought very close to its face. The whale's golden belly, its family, and its influence on the ocean around it filled him with a deep yearning. Humpy was in awe.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my domain?" the whale boomed.

“I wanted to die,” Humpy told the whale, his voice tinged with awe and desperation. “but only because I am not a golden boy like the other eggs my mother laid.” Then, remembering what the Alchemist had told him, Humpy asked, “Tell me, great whale, can I become golden too?”

The whale roared in laughter. “If you seek to be golden, you must first find a heart of gold. Only then can you hope to become the purest of golden eggs."

“So that’s it?” Humpy wondered to himself. “I must find a heart of gold?” And then something deep in his heart stirred. Ambition woke. "And if I become a golden egg, could I become a whale too?" Humpy asked, his eyes wide.

"You are no whale, little egg. But your audacity amuses me.” The whale paused, looking at Humpy intently. "To become a whale is a secret known to very few. But yes, you can. However, the journey is long and arduous. It has a terrible price."

Then, as if coming back to his senses, the whale said, “But you are just a little pink egg! “ Without another word, the whale took Humpy on its back. In one powerful stroke of its behemoth tail, the whale rocketed towards the surface of the water. Humpy clung desperately to barnacles on the whale’s back. The light was growing as they soared upwards through the water, until suddenly, in a roaring detonation of sound and seafoam, they broke above the ocean surface and arced above the swells. Then, with a flick of its massive tail, the whale flung Humpy towards the shore.

Humpy flew through the air and landed with a thud on the sandy beach, his shell cracking upon impact. A sharp pain radiated through his being, and he felt his life essence—his yolk—begin to ooze out.

Panic surged through him. "I don't want to die, not now!" he thought frantically. With trembling hands, he tried to hold his shell together, but the yolk kept seeping through the cracks. Each drop that escaped felt like a piece of his soul being torn away.

Just when he thought he couldn't hold on any longer, he touched something hard within his shell. Desperately, he pulled the hard object towards the crack. To his amazement, the object— a small nugget of gold —fit perfectly into the fissure, sealing it and stopping the flow of his yolk. Humpy had found his heart of gold.

Humpy lay there for a moment, his breathing ragged, his emotions a whirlwind. "I had gold inside me all along," he marveled, his eyes widening in realization. "And it saved my life."

Just then, the Alchemist appeared, walking along the beach looking for purple sea urchins. "Ah, Master Egg, we meet again. How goes your quest?"

"You were right,” Humpy said, amazed, “I met the whales and discovered I have a golden heart inside me - was it there all along?”

The Alchemist chuckled. "Ah, the first step to true wisdom. So, what will you do now?"

"Being a golden egg isn’t enough. I want to be a whale," Humpy declared.

The Alchemist looked at him thoughtfully. "To be a whale, you must become the richest egg in all the realm."

Humpy's mind flashed back to the adventurers he had overheard, talking about the prophecy and DeFi City. "Then that's where I'll go. To DeFi City. To seek my fortune and fulfill my destiny."

And so, with a piece of gold inside him and a dream to chase, Humpy set his sights on DeFi City, ready to whatever it took to become the richest egg in the realm. He would become a golden egg - but he wouldn’t stop there. Humpy would become a whale!

Balancer Vote for Gauges on Base (Alpha)

Balancer's recent expansion to the Avalanche and Base networks is noteworthy, but the real glittering prize lies in the Balancer vote $GOLD pool gauges on Base.

Imagine the shimmering potential of $GOLD LPs receiving Balancer gauge emissions. It's like a river of gold flowing directly into the hands of those who believe. And who is leading this golden parade? None other than Humpy, the whale with the Midas touch.

When It's Going to Happen

The vote is currently live on [Snapshot]. (Go vote!)

If the vote passes, which, given the value of $GOLD, is a very real possibility, it usually takes around two weeks for the emissions to start flowing.

For the inside scoop, join our community where Humpy and our working aficionados drop the latest updates.

The Golden Triad Liquidity Pools

If you have an eye for the glitter, you may have noticed that some Balancer LPs are going to make waves in our little corner of DeFi (which is soon to be a big corner).

• The Gold Chad Pool: 50% $GOLD / 25% WETH / 25% USDC Dive into the latest sensation in the DeFi pool party – a shimmering blend of 50% $GOLD, 25% WETH, and 25% USDC. This isn't just a pool; it's a golden elixir of liquidity crafted carefully to bring much needed USDC/ETH liquidity to Balancer on Base. And here's the cherry on top: this dazzling concoction is set with a cap of 10% BAL rewards in the current gauge vote. This three-sided LP is a three-sided win for Balancer, $GOLD, and Base.

• *For Balancer enjoyers, the \33% GOLD/33% BAL/33% USDC pool* may have caught your eye… a harmonious triad where each token holds an equal third of the power. A perfect metaphor for healing relationships and supportive strategies, this LP is set at a 2% cap.

• Meanwhile, for $GOLDbug maximalists, the 99% GOLD / 1% WETH pool remains the safe bet. Protect your bags from the risk of impermanent loss and hoard them like a pre-rich dragon fresh out of your egg…

A nugget of alpha for our esteemed reader?
>There are rumors of Aura coming to Base, and the master alchemists are preparing for its arrival. The 33/33/33 pool will receive a gauge for now, but not even the alchemists themselves know what the future will hold (could there be something to do with Aura itself…?)

Liquidity is Moving

The Whale is preparing our liquidity pools in anticipation of Balancer Gauges. When the Whale moves, so does the water. Adjust your positions accordingly, as chunks of liquidity are expected to be re-allocated to support the Balancer protocol and reap Gauge rewards. So if you notice the waves, look for the Whale (on-chain, of course).

How This is Good for Balancer, Base, and $GOLD

This collaboration is a win-win-win. Balancer gets to tap into the $GOLD community, Base benefits from increased activity and liquidity, and $GOLD? Well, it's poised to shine even brighter in the DeFi universe. The 50/25/25 Gold Chad Pool is critical to developing ETH/USD liquidity for Balancer, which is why it’s set to receive a 10% cap. With Balancer Gauges in the mix, $GOLD is not just another meme coin; it's a DeFi heavyweight.

Wrapping It Up

In the world of DeFi, where liquidity is the lifeblood, $GOLD is building from a stream to a river. With these BAL reward gauges, we're balancing on the edge of a golden era. Like Midas, with every touch, every gauge, and every drop of liquidity, $GOLD is setting the standard. So, as we stand at the cusp of this glittering horizon, the question remains: are you ready to be part of humpy’s golden opus? 🚀✨

Chapter 1 - The Conception of the Egg

In the enchanted realm of the Magic Kingdom, two golden geese were the pride of the land. They laid golden eggs, each one a treasure beyond measure. But among these radiant eggs, one stood out—or rather, didn't. His name was Humpy, and his shell was not golden but a dull, unremarkable pink.

"You are not like your brothers and sisters," the golden geese would often tell him. "You are not beautiful like our other eggs."

Humpy felt the weight of their words. He had no friends among the golden eggs, who shone so brilliantly that they seemed to mock his dull exterior. He was a very sad boy.

One fateful day, the kingdom's alchemist arrived at the nest. He was there to collect golden eggs for the king's magical soup, a recipe that held the secret to the king's long life and the peace of the realm.

"Why are you so sad, Humpy?" the alchemist asked, noticing the forlorn egg sitting apart from the others.

"Because I am not gold," Humpy replied, his voice tinged with despair.

"It's simple to be gold," the alchemist said, "just visit the whale priests. They hold the secrets to transmutation."

"… I don't want to be gold by someone else's magic. I want to be a golden boy on my own terms!" Humpy pouted.

One night, as he lay in his corner of the nest, he overheard a group of adventurers talking by a campfire near the riverbank. Their words floated through the air, filling the night with tales of bravery and destiny.

"And so it is foretold," one adventurer said, "that a whale with a heart of gold will control the future of DeFi City in the Magic Realm. This whale will be the key player in a war that will weigh the balance of the future."

Humpy's eyes widened. A heart of gold? DeFi City? A war that could change the future? His yolk pounded in his shell as he rolled closer to the adventurers.

"Excuse me," Humpy interrupted, "how can I go to DeFi City?"

The adventurers burst into laughter. "DeFi City is no place for an egg, let alone one that isn't even golden," one of them scoffed.

Humpy felt a sting of humiliation. Filled with despair, he decided he had had enough. There was no place for him with the golden eggs, the geese, or even in DeFi city.

“If I cannot be a golden boy,” Humpy said, “then I shall leave it all behind.”

And so, under the cover of darkness, Humpy rolled away from the only home he had ever known, and threw himself shell-first into the river to drown.

Little did he know, his his dark decision would entangle him in wars and adventures far greater than any egg—or whale—had ever seen.

(to be continued)…

So let’s cut to the chase and break it down. This is not financial advice, just solid info coming from deep within the goldmine.

The Numbers That Matter

1. Total Supply: A cool 1,000,000 $GOLD. That’s it. Finite. Like gold itself, scarcity is the game.

2. Burned: A whopping 250,000 $GOLD is gone, sent to the great incinerator in the sky to make the rest of the pile even more valuable. Remember, scarcity equals value.

3. Circulating Supply: 280,000 $GOLD at the time of writing.

4. Rewards and Incentives: 450,000 $GOLD is heavily guarded, to be used only for the good of the realm.

5. Team Allocation: 20,000 $GOLD is stashed to keep our contributors shining bright.

The Locked Treasures

"Know that Humpy is like a skinflint grandpa who locks his gold tokens in a treasure chest , well hidden, key tucked away."

Rewards and Incentives: 450,000 $GOLD

The king’s jewels are in a special vault, The Inflation Controller. As they release over time, they’ll be used for the good of the Golden Boys and all the realm. The Inflation Controller contract is Inspired by the OZ Vesting Wallet but with several golden modifications. The differences?

• It's "Ownable," and who do you think owns it? The multi-sig council of $GOLD.

• Beneficiary? The multi-sig.

• Owner has a 2-week timelock to sweep $GOLD.

• For all other ERC20 tokens, it’s a sweep with no wait time.

• This version has no vesting logic for ETH, and all payable functionalities are removed.

The contract starts doing its thing at the stroke of midnight, GMT, on August 31, 2023. It’s a three-year party, so mark your calendars.

The Team Allocation: 20,000 $GOLD

**Team Vesting Contract: **

Locked in a vault with a time-release lock—20,000 $GOLD for the team. It’s like a 365-day Advent calendar, but instead of chocolate, our golden boy contributors get a slice of the $GOLD pie. Thank you HUMPY and TEAM!

Strategies for the Golden Boys

Look, you don’t need to be a whale. You just need to ride one’s back. Humpy's been in the crypto game for 7+ years, so trust that the man knows what he’s doing.

The initial distribution of $GOLD tokens is planned by the master himself. Unlike most coins, the team allocation is low, and the greatest portion of the supply is locked away responsibly for future use to help make $GOLD shine bright. In a future post, we’ll explore the strategy for the coins vesting from the Inflation Controller.

What’s Next?

Join the Golden Boys community to learn the way. Trust in Humpy, he knows what he’s doing. Have some patience, because these things take time.

Join the Telegram Community.

Join the Discord.

You can see $GOLD on BASE here on Balancer.

Wrapping It Up

$GOLD isn’t just about tokenomics; it’s about a vision. The team, the community, and the tokenomics are geared to make $GOLD shine as bright as real gold. Are you ready to ride the whale?

Stay golden. ✨

Excerpt from the Golden Boys Bible

#6 humpy has NEVER shilled shitcoins before, yet he puts his name behind this. Humpy’s Wallet