** **

He was so obviously uncomfortable, I had to ask him why his shop was so small when he was so large. He explained he had drawn up the plans for the Curio Shop while wearing his Wrong-End-of-the-Binocular glasses, which had created all sorts of problems.   I nodded without understanding how he could have made such a colossal miscalculation but then lost interest as I inspected the unusual whatnots he had on display.

** **

There was a rearview mirror that would allow you to see into your past. It included a bicycle mount which I thought could be quite dangerous. Next to the mirror was a pair of Near-Sighted glasses which enabled you to be in the present at all times. No past, no future, focused only on the present. Interesting, but crossing a street with possible income traffic might be an issue. Besides, they were quite expensive.  Now, here was something useful! Tunnel Vision lenses. Finally, I could focus on the task at hand without any distractions.  I was quite interested in purchasing the lenses until I spied The Gripper. The package declared it would give you a grip on reality. How very charming, I thought as I placed it back on the counter. My mother had always told me reality was over-rated and I found it best to trust in Mother.