#1 The Horsey Horseless (1899)

This godforsaken nightmare shouldn’t really be on this list, just because I don’t wish nightmares upon others. This deuce of a unit invented by Uriah Smith of Battle Creek, Mich.,was designed as a calming introduction of automobiles to those with hooves. Somehow, this genius inventor thought other horses would see the giant horsehead on the front of this thing AS ONE OF ITS OWN!?!??!?! While it’s not clear if this “vehicle” was actually ever produced, it’s well deserving of being mentioned on this list.

#2 The Pontiac Aztek

One look at this thing will solidify for you why Pontiac is no longer in production, this had to be it’s downfall. With a weird toaster shaped back end, nostrils (that’s all I can call them, what else are they) looking things in the front, this “SUV” looks like something I’d scrape out from a kitchen sink.

Pontiac hoped that this would be the savior of the brand, and it ended up being it’s collapse. Designers have admitted that things were cut from the original design, and changes made throughout to create this ugly, cheap sin of a vehicle.

#3 The Ford Pinto

During a time in the 70’s when fuel efficient vehicles were becoming more in demand. Ford decided to develop a vehicle that instead of saving money with your gas, you’d likely end up paying with your life. While estimates are higher, it’s said that 27 people died because of these bomb units.

While Ford knew of an issue that rear ending these volatile ex boyfriends would lead to a similar explosion, they decided to say “meh” and move ahead with production. In the end, Ford chose to payout a lawsuit and only ever made “modifications” to the fuel system that made them “less likely” to explode.

#3 Suzuki X-90

I really don’t have much to say about this smooshed creature, but this beast was powered by a 1.6-liter four-cylinder with just 94 hp on tap, and it’s 0-60 time was 3-5 business days. It’s like they had the original idea for the cappuccino and said squish it. WHY.

#4 The Reliant Robin - Voted Britain’s Worst Car of All Time.

Let’s be real, whoever designed this three wheeler had to be on some sort of drugs. How could they not be? Lets give them some credit though, it was impressively light de to a complete fiberglass construction, had a 70mpg fuel economy rating, and could hit 85mph top speed like nothing, however, if you had even the slightest turn with this car, you’d end up a bird out of it’s nest.

#5 Fuller Dymaxion

While we are on the three wheeler train, we have to talk about this rear engine abomination. R. Buckminster Fuller was a well-known basket case who initially built this vehicle to be one of the first ever flying cars. However, this gem ended up only ever becoming a ground blimp, deprived of it’s desire to fly. While this vehicle never went into production, and honestly never really was driven, this three-wheeled suppository was the boldest of a series of futuristic, rear-engined cars of the 1930s.

#6 Triumph TR7

Who doesn’t want a door stop wedge as a vehicle? Shit, sign me up! This launching ramp styled vehicle and it’s sibling V-8 TR8 were the last ever Triumphs made and sold in the United States, thankfully. The Triumphs were known for extensive mechanical failures, circuit board failures akin to dropping bong-water on a tape player, snapped timing chains, and oil pumps sucking harder then this car itself.

#7 Chevy Corvette 305 “California”

Ladies and gents, que grandpa sitting on his porch yelling “those darn hippy liberals” because that’s basically what happened with the 305 California. With new California emission laws in the 70’s castrating the muscle cars of the state, Corvette lost the biggest balls. This creature had a beautiful 305 V8 producing a whopping 180hp of disappointment. Even worse, this molasses speed tank was consumed by an automatic only three speed transmission that left you as disappointed as your parents are in you.

#8 Cadillac Cimarron

I’d say avert your eyes, but I had to look at this thing, so you also now have to. Everything that went wrong with GM in the 80’s was time capsuled into this itty bitty abomination. Being the biggest insult to Cadillac fans everywhere, this rushed rebadging of GM’s J-Platform sedans (think Pontiac 2000, Sunbird and Cavalier) and toss some cheap fabric and half the time broken accessories. While being damn near exactly a Cavalier at the time, they were priced thousands higher due to the Cadillac badge, making this the tenth circle of hell.

#9 Chevrolet Camaro “Iron Duke”

In a time where muscle meant power, Chevrolet (notice how GM seems to be a trend here) decided to make it’s Camaro a 4 Cylinder 90HP misfortune. To top off this total calamity, it had a similar three speed, low tech transmission similar to the California Corvette. So well designed, this Iron Duke had a 0-60 of 20 seconds. Or as I’d like to say, eventually.

#10 GM EV1

Long before Tesla, and the global warming concerns, GM thought they were onto something. (Why is it always GM ?!) The EV1 was a revolution in engineering when the California emissions laws began. The early production models had lead-acid batteries, that couldn’t provide any range or durability. The vehicle was also extremely expensive to produce, which eventually caused GM to shut the project down completely, giving GM haters a stick to beat them with. While they were a company that had gone farther then anyone before in the Electric Car industry at the time, they were considered they death of the EV. You also can’t deny, it was ugly.

Since I hated so much on the GM stuff in this article, lets take a jab at a couple of Japanese production vehicles currently on the market.

The Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross

While the Mitsu Eclipse was never one of my favorite JDM production cars, Mitsubishi cancelling the Evolution line and creating this monstrosity has to be their biggest disappointment yet. I remember the excitement among the Mitsubishi community when they said they were redesigning the Eclipse, and so many were hoping a new sports car from them was to go into production, and instead, we got a soccer mom SUV.

Suzuki Ingis

The first time I saw one of these online, I honestly thought somebody had slapped a Suzuki logo on a Kia Soul, and a weird remake of a Jeep Renegade front end. Because that’s the only way I can describe this creature. Joining the toaster gang of Kia Souls, Scion xB, or France’s affordable electric car the Ami, the overall design is lackluster. They could have made up for it’s design by giving it some power, but instead they gave it a dangerously slow 83HP.