lijuan

lijuan@newsletter.paragraph.com (lijuan) — Sat, 01 Nov 2025 16:24:07 GMT

A truly insightful statement: In this life, the more you strive, the more exhausted you become; the more you complain, the more annoyed you become; the more you hate, the more suffocated you feel. When you make things difficult for others, the knife first stabs your own heart; what you take seriously becomes what binds you; the higher your expectations, the harsher your disappointment—this is the root of suffering. Some things, gaining them is luck, losing them is fate—don't fight against fate. Days go by, people change—don't cling to what doesn't belong to you. Throw away what you can't carry, lest you crush yourself; forget what hurts you too much, lest the scars keep aching; let go of what you can't understand, lest you torment yourself; resolve what you can't hate, lest hatred fester in your heart. What can stay, don't waste your energy; what can't stay, forcing it is futile. Learn to cherish the present, let go of what wants to leave, don't waste your time on unworthy people and things.
Living a simple life is the most advanced way to live: Life isn't about extravagance, it's simply about having enough to eat and focusing on doing one thing well throughout your life. Reflecting on these words, do they strike a chord deep within us? We constantly chase after grand, spectacular achievements, forgetting that the quiet contentment of ordinary days is what life should truly be like. A comfortable life isn't about how much you possess, but about having everything simple and clean around you. Don't let fame and fortune suffocate you, don't let trivial matters keep you up at night. Eliminating the complexities of life makes it easier to grasp the essence of happiness, yet too many people fail to understand this.
People often lament, "There's no way forward in life," but in reality, they don't know how to actively "borrow luck." The more capable a person is, the clearer they understand not to stubbornly resist—it's far better to leverage external forces to break free than to wallow in self-pity. In life, seven parts effort is certainly true, but those three parts opportunity and luck are precisely the lifeline during low points. Yet too many people are trapped at the bottom, preferring to endure until they collapse rather than take action: they don't cultivate their core strengths, don't improve their abilities, and are even too lazy to adjust their mindset, instead blaming luck for not coming their way? To attract good fortune, you must first get your own energy field flowing. If you remain stagnant, you'll only stay trapped in your predicament.
In life, one must always have a sense of reverence, especially in speech. Never let your mouth be filled with a bad temper, uttering insults and hurtful words. Such behavior easily invites trouble and exposes your shallowness of character. It's even more important to avoid deliberately saying unpleasant things, making harsh statements, or making absolute statements. The elders often warn that "a word can become a prophecy," meaning that speaking too many negative words may very well come true for you. Cultivate a "refined tongue," speaking gently and politely, and accumulating good speech; only then can you reap a smooth life and enjoy a lifetime of peace and prosperity.

lijuan@newsletter.paragraph.com (lijuan) — Sat, 01 Nov 2025 16:23:12 GMT

If you find yourself in a situation where no one invites you to meals or gatherings, and even phone calls are rare, congratulations! This isn't a sign of declining popularity, but rather a genuine awakening. Think carefully about what those so-called social interactions truly bring. Are they meaningless gatherings, filled with insincere words, competitive boasting, seemingly lively but internally empty? Or are they forced activities to please others, leaving you exhausted, yet afraid to refuse for fear of being seen as antisocial? Instead of wasting your time on useless social interactions, focus on self-improvement.
Be less temperamental, broaden your perspective, let things take their natural course, don't force things. What's meant to come will come. Life is like this; you have your difficulties, I have my worries, everyone has unspoken suffering. As time flows and we grow older, the more we understand, the more we see through, yet happiness quietly diminishes. We must admit that time changes many people and reshapes many things. It can soothe sorrows and also settle the marks of the past. People often subtly change their personalities after experiencing certain events. Gradually, we are no longer the people we once were.
In this life, all worldly wealth and material possessions have a price, but a healthy body is a treasure that money can't buy. Therefore, I want to urge every friend: please take good care of your body. Only with good health can you live a fulfilling life, and only then can you live a stable, peaceful, and joyful life. Know that a healthy body is a wealth beyond measure; knowing contentment allows you to truly appreciate the blessings life offers.
The human heart is like a magnet. With gratitude in your heart, the journey ahead will be less rugged; with a willingness to give, the warmth in your palms will grow ever stronger; with love in your heart, you will be surrounded by the gentle glow of love. Belief is the stepping stone to unlocking opportunities; diligence can reshape one's self; perseverance can shake a predetermined destiny; gratitude is the vessel for preserving blessings. Time becomes gentler because of understanding, life is filled with warmth because of contentment, and life itself gains profound value and weight because of this deep appreciation.

LIFE

lijuan@newsletter.paragraph.com (lijuan) — Sat, 01 Nov 2025 16:21:51 GMT

Don't force yourself to wear shoes that don't fit; they'll only hurt your feet. Don't keep redialing a missed call; those who value you will call back immediately. Don't travel far to find a restaurant that's moved; time shouldn't be wasted on pointless pursuit. In this world, just strive to have a clear conscience. Don't force what doesn't belong to you. Remember, those who leave are merely scenery along the way; what truly remains is the warmth and peace of life. By not dwelling on the past that isn't yours, you can travel light and preserve the essence of life.
Life is like a bowl; it can hold delicacies from the mountains and seas, as well as wild vegetables and coarse grains; it can hold fine wine, as well as plain water. It knows when to stop; overfilling will overflow. It accepts water that just reaches the bottom, but resolutely refuses anything that overflows. Life should be like a bowl, open and honest, without concealment. Even if gold and silver beans are poured into a bowl, they are only temporarily stored; when needed, they will all be returned. Bowls inevitably have bumps and blemishes, and people inevitably suffer setbacks and imperfections. There is no perfect bowl in the world, nor a perfect person. Whether rich or poor, living happily is the true meaning of life.
A good married life is about two people living their lives steadily and practically, without envying anyone. You don't make me overthink, and I won't be too calculating. We sleep in the same bed, earn money together, and snuggle in bed watching TV together. If you're thirsty, I'll get out of bed to pour you a cup of tea; if you're hungry, I'll cook for you; if you're sleepy, I'll put down my phone immediately and fall asleep in your arms. There's no betrayal, no suspicion, just simplicity and purity, mutual cherishing, understanding, encouragement, support, and trust—that's enough for a lifetime!
Wives should: encourage more, nag less; be affectionate, not commanding; be understanding to avoid misunderstandings; be hardworking, complain less. If you persist in this approach, you'll find your husband becomes increasingly excellent and family-oriented, understanding and loving you even more.

A husband should: offer more protection and less criticism; focus on earning a living and fulfill his responsibilities diligently; be tolerant and avoid taking his anger out on others; praise often and don't criticize. By consistently doing this, you'll naturally notice your wife becoming more gentle and considerate, cherishing and understanding you even more.

The wisdom of mutual growth lies in the small, intimate moments that nurture a warm and lasting companionship.

In middle age, what really matters is your wife.

lijuan@newsletter.paragraph.com (lijuan) — Sat, 01 Nov 2025 16:20:02 GMT

Elegant all year round

lijuan@newsletter.paragraph.com (lijuan) — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 11:50:16 GMT

Guilin in spring is rainy. In the misty and rainy landscape, it makes people feel most bewildered. In the early morning, I took a boat to sail on the Li River in the breeze and drizzle, with raindrops falling on me, making it hard to tell whether it was rain or mist, and the air was as fresh as a sweet spring. The mountains are not very high, nor very steep; some resemble deer, some turquoise snails, and others mushrooms sitting on the banks of the Li River. The scenery is verdant and refreshing. I think of what is written in Han Yu's poem: The river is a green silk belt, and the mountains resemble jade hairpins. There are many anchovy bamboos by the water, swaying in the breeze, reflecting in the blue waves. A bamboo raft floats on the river, with a fisherman squatting on it with a hat, smoking leisurely, while two brown squirrels sit at one end of the raft, quietly gazing at the river. The fisherman stretches a long bamboo pole towards the cormorants, using the larger ones. Riding a boat down the Li River, each child had a water gun in hand, busily engaging in water fights, laughter mingling with the sound of splashing. In the afternoon, I left Guilin City for Yangshuo, and along the way, the willows appeared like mist, and the fields were full of flowers. Yangshuo is a small city surrounded by mountains, which feels both comfortable and somewhat tranquil. I stayed in a simple yet elegant guesthouse with a mahogany tea table, a few teacups, and several bamboo chairs in the hall. The carved bed allowed a view of green bamboos through the wooden window, reflected on the pink walls, with the wind and rain outside forming an ink painting. At dusk, when the sky cleared, I strolled around Yangshuo Street and tried Liu Sanjie's beer fish. The delicious swordbone fish from the Li River, cooked with beer and spiced with watercress and red tomatoes, had a unique flavour, and the children ate heartily, finishing one plate after another. West Street in Yangshuo is lined with banyan trees, some over a hundred years old, their trunks so massive that a few cannot be embraced. The tree's green canopy provides shade, and its roots hang low, like the lifeblood of the large tree, deeply anchored in the soil. The spring breeze is refreshing, creating a cool retreat under the banyan trees. People gather in the shade to chat, while some sit in silence. A few black birds perch on the branches, chirping incessantly, some singing, others quietly. Suddenly, I recalled a painting by Mr. Huang Yongyu depicting a colourful parrot, with an inscription on the side reading: "Birds are good birds, but they talk a lot", making one smile and pause.

Walking into the depths of West Street, I saw a quaint courtyard with an open wooden door, a brick-carved leaky window on the wall, and a few pink cherry blossoms peeking through the wall. This is the former residence of the painter Mr Xu Beihong. The people do not own it. A big tree, magnolia flowers are in full bloom, and the fragrance of the flowers is overwhelming. The plaque of Xu Beihong's former residence was inscribed by his wife Liao Jingwen. Resisting the enemy means writing and using it to face them. There is a bronze statue of Xu Beihong in the courtyard, depicting him in his prime, with a broad forehead, smiling, and affectionate eyes gazing at a magnolia tree, admiring the landscape he loves. Entering the house, his paintings "Li River Landscape" and "Horse Map" hang on the wall. There is a self-portrait painted in white, showing his appearance in his twenties, with handsome eyebrows and commanding eyes, sitting on a chair, slightly raising his head as if in a daze. At that time, he was a young man with vision, dreams, unruliness, and lofty ambitions. Youth then was as bright as the noon sun, radiant and shining. The artist said: People today are not mistaken. When it comes to painting, he does his own thing, stays true to himself, is devoted to art, and deeply in love with it. As the sun set, I took my children for a walk along the banks of the Li River. Xingping Mountain resembled a painting, and the water in Yangshuo was like crystal. The afterglow shone on the river, half deep blue, half red. The river water was crystal clear, the stones visible, and the children took off their shoes, rolled up their trousers, stood in the cool water playing, splashing everywhere. I followed them, enjoying the moment. The child called out loudly, "Mom, the water won't be cold at all, come quickly!" The trees on both sides of the Li River were lush and flowering, and the afterglow seemed to have dyed everything golden yellow with the ink of tourists. The mountains and rivers met, eventual leading to Guilin. The beautiful river landscape attracted painters Xu Beihong, Wu Guanzhong, and Li Keran to come here to paint. Like Wu Guanzhong’s representations of the Li River in all four seasons, the Li River spring snow, the new bamboo, and the fishing boats on the river, the realism and expressive style are true, elegant and serene, possessing a distinct oriental aesthetic charm.Thinking of the painter Mr Wu Guanzhong's paintings of the Li River landscape, why did he and his wife come to the river to paint in Yangshuo in early spring one year? In a photo of people dressed in black and white, both of them are wearing fur coats, it is raining, the wind of the Yangtze River is strong, she is held by Wu Guanzhong with one hand with an umbrella, and the other hand is supported by him to hold the easel. Wu Guanzhong stood under the umbrella, ignoring the wind and rain, still concentrating on painting, forgetting the wind and rain, forgetting his clothes and getting wet from the rain. Middle-aged love is touching and heartwarming. She is her left and right hand, indispensable, and never abandoned. She is the one who holds an umbrella for him in the rain, and the one who accompanies him to paint in the rain. The deep affection in the world can only be silently dependent on each other. Living on Yangshuo West Street, I got up in the morning and walked by the river. The mist is like a veil, the mountains and rivers are vast, stable and quiet. Not far away, several houses on the riverside, smoke rose from the roofs. At the turn of the river, a flock of wild ducks swim freely. There are people between mountains and rivers, and people and nature live in harmony, which is a picture of tranquillity and beauty in the world. In the morning light, a person was playing in the alley. Last night, the sunset sprinkled a good rain, and the bluestone road became more and more clean and elegant. A middle-aged woman selling flowers came towards her with a burden, and her voice was soft and graceful. Living in a small building, I listened to the spring rain dripping all night, and tomorrow morning, someone was selling apricot blossoms in the deep alley. She wore a headscarf wrapped in blue floral cloth on her head, and her burden was filled with peach blossoms, cherry blossoms, lily of the valley, and white lilies, as if carrying a load of spring. I want to use it.