Stories about Japan have begun to sound the same. I’m not sure if it’s the result of all gaijins have the same gripe about what isn’t fair in Japan or is it because Japanese society has gotten so easy to read. The one-shot critque of everything is “Don’t stand out while trying to do your best”, which sounds like two opposing concepts. This has, some how, worked as the foundation of every blog, vlog, post, Tok-Tik, and whatchamacallit about “Hashtag: Life In Japan”. These monologues will be passed around by burnouts or fanboys, depending on what search you’re conducting to validate your feels in either camp. Then, somehow, it makes it’s way to me in the form of a tourist, a “bambi brat”, or reinvented expat. Telling me, out of sheer empathy to share (deez nuts on your chin), that my approach to living in Japan is wrong. Not “Your opinion maybe skewed” or “Perhaps I should try…”, just flat out “That’s not what you’re suppose to think while you’re here.”.

I get that many people have Japan on their travel list but that doesn’t mean that it won’t suck when you get here. In addition, if you wanna turn a blind eye to the things that do suck in order to have a flawless experience, bravo. You beat the system. On the flipside, if you found that my experience isnt’ the worst of it and you have an even darker, more unpleasant story, keep that shit to yourself. I’m not interested in finding out more bad moments in life, I got those like cam girls got dick pics in their DMs (or so I’ve been told). The point of a story isn’t so much about making yourself to be this griot or celebrating that your thesis checks out. Your story is to tell me about you.

So, tell me how you feel with as many words as you have masks left over from COVID. Paint me a scene that gives every person in the background a face. Tell me about that one second where you found something new in the “same old ‘same old’”. Say that shit in Japanese…incorrectly. The Japanese person that steps out of the masses to let you know you’re saying it wrong, THAT’S your new friend. Exchange LINE information and write each other twice week.

Stories that haven’t been told are like books that haven’t been read. They are still around for a reason, you have to open up to find out why. You remember those forgotten moment in a blink of an eye, why store it again just to spew out the fresh new one that’s a re-run from last week. Look…I agree with you, that mutha fucka should get kicked in their armpit for playing in your face like that. Now, what about your story about holding an umbrella over a stranger while it rain? Yeah, they said “Nah, I’m okay. Thanks”, but how did YOU feel to doing that? An act of kindness with nothing asked for in return. What was it like to agree that things don’t have to suck so badly and trying to help out in a small way? And tell me what you learned from the experience or ask what in that story stuck out to me. After all, “How’s it going?” will only give you a story you already heard. In which case, you don’t need to talk to me.

I was telling my friend that this new space of Web3, NFTs, Crypto, and the use of the Blockchain is a lot like the first time any of us took a look at Netscape and built a web page. The excitement of creating has a “toddler’s first picture” vibe to it, bring something into reality that started in your imagination. You show it to people, they either don’t get it or can’t recognize it for what you say it is. Hearing the reassurance of “good job” over “what is that?” creates the folk in the road which will, ultimately, give you the choice to turn towards chasing validation or towards the imagination that made you try something in the first place. Really, that’s all what moving to Japan was about. Turning toward my imagination of not staying where I was and following the thought of “I wonder what it would be like to…”.

The challenges are plenty and aren’t always easy to spot, muchless fix. I’m just shy of being here a decade and still have to “reprogram” habits that served me well when I lived in the United States. Seemingly knee-jerk reactions to different elements have set clear boundaries to some “bad apples” here. However, it has also ruined a number of relationships and burned bridges that have halted my career path. This brings to light the trauma I had unintentionally packed away in my “survival bag”…and that’s a good thing. I was giving so much push back to the new surroundings in an effort to keep a part of myself that clearly doesn’t suit me anymore. This leads me to believe the majority of things I was writing off as culture shock were just outdated practices I had become comfortable with. Making it even more challenging when dealing with fellow Non-Japanese who a looking for a pat on the head from their overseers or just want to force a storyline that they have already thought up in their imagination.

Controlling yourself is key to controlling you environment. As much as I don’t want to admit it, your thoughts do become your reality. This also points out that if your thoughts are just lies you tell yourself (i.e. relentless positive affirmations that have no actions associated with them), then your reality will be a lie. There in lies the challenge (2pts for poetic word juggling), creating what you imagine without holding on to a static conclusion of the reality that made you who you are. There is no simple or quick way to correct some habits, so small adjustments are needed. This will keep you from over correcting yourself and letting your environment draw out what you imagined your life to be. Every small goal reached, every milestone pasted, everyday you come home with a zero body count should be celebrated.

Bookmark: I know that some of the younger cats out there use the term “body count” to describe how many people they have had sex with. However, for this blog entry, the term “body count” means “people you have beaten to death with your bare hands out of blind rage caused by their stupidity”.

So, here is my attempt. Not for validation but to just follow the imagination that I have always had while using my past as a reminder instead of reality. I don’t want to corner your thoughts into imagining the same things as me or looking at life in Japan the same way. Should you find similarities in your imagination while reading these blogs or seeing these vlogs, thanks for the validation. (Okay, no…I wasn’t trying to rhyme that part. So, no points will be given for that closing sentence.)

Sincerely,

FarEastWade