(with appearances from

fooo69

Maren Altman

Su Zhu

and CL)

Jim takes another sip from his dusty bottle, followed by another filthy swallow.

“Say Slug, how long have we been coming to ol Fooo’s harem for?”

“Gosh must be close to 5 years now eh Jim?”

Jim pauses, mouth open.

“Wow, 5 years. And we been meeting here at Eve’s Garden for a few every Thursday since.”

I chuckle a bit. “Yea I guess so. Time sure does fly in this space.”

A thought of the past flashes before my eyes.

“Hey Jim, you remember the early days? Like THE early days. Remember that one time before Christmas when Fooo brought in those Turkish girls right here, in Eve?”

“Say I do Slug, ohhhh best believe I do!”

“Yea geez, wow, they were bodacious. Especially Aiyla. Best booty.”

“Best booty.” Agreed Jim.

“She was so down to earth too. I remember one time after a round of poker in CL’s parlor , she came back to the Slug Cavern for some snoo snoo and to learn about the culture.”

“Ohh I bet about the culture did she learn” Jim said with his one of a kind whimsical grin.

“Oh absolutely she did. But afterwards we played a game of chess and drank some merlot. And, you know, Slug is a humbled light weight, so what do I get Aiyla to do after chess?”

“Hm?”

“I get her to sing to me in Turkish! And by Vitalik she did. And she had the most soft sung vocals I ever did hear. Ya know, like a voice straight from Lorien.”

“Oh Slug you get so soft on me, sometimes I swear you could be a snail.”

“But that’s not all Jim! The concoction of her voice mixed with the merlot put me in a trance, and my ol sluggish eyes were closing. And Aiyla put me to bed Jim, she put me to bed!”

“Damn well what more could you want in a night? Poker, Turkish booty, merlot, and lullabies? Slug you make it sound like we’re living here on Venus herself.”

“Well I mean since the Three Arrows investment we basically have been am I right?”

“Yea true, Su Zhu doesn’t want anything less than the thickest booty when he travels through.”

“Correcto mundo my friend. Works out nicely for us.”

“But I must say ol chap, this slug has been talking for one drink too long. How about we rekindle a memory from Jimbo?”

Jim looks up as if to quander, scratches the bit of stubble on his chin, and nods.

“Yes I do have a story for you. It’s been locked away in my mind for years but I do think it’s a story a slug like you’d like to hear. Myself, I think about it every few moons before drifting off to sleep.”

“My ears are your eyes Jim.”

“Ah yes, well you see there was this one time I was down lounging at the pool. It was about now, say, 2 years ago? After I got that reading from Maren. I was trying to cut down on the drinks and she best advised that I take some quality ‘Jim’ time.”

“Say no more, she’s a fine woman with much other worldly wisdom.”

“Ahem, yes, anyways. So there I was down by the pool reading some Murakami and working on my tan. I had this Venezuelan chica taking care of me; bringing me pina coladas, and massaging my feet. Isabel was her name.”

Jim reaches into his suave leather jacket to pull out a pack of camels and a zippo. Zippo flicks. Ciggy lit.

With the cigarette in his mouth, Jim continues with a muffled voice.

“I kid you not Slug, Isabel was a helluva woman. This song came on, I don’t know who it was by, but it was some latin dance hit. She gets up and just starts shaking it. And I mean SHAKING it. This girl was getting loose.”

“Her hands went up in that sexy way that latinas do and she starts moving swaying her hips to beat. And I’m just fucking watching. Watching it all man.”

“Isabel takes the drink outta my hand and pulls me up off my chair. All I’m thinking is ‘Damn its been years since I danced’. She could probably tell, but she told me I was a natural. She was nice like that. Always pushing up ol Jim’s ego.”

“We spent the whole week together. Dancing, fucking, watching sci fi movies. Hell we even went scuba diving once!”

“Well what happened Jim?” I asked.

“You see Slug, Isabel was spicy AND athletic AND energetic BUT she had a hopium problem.”

“Ahh the good ones are always on the hopium.”

“Yep, she wanted to move back to Venezuela. Said she missed her family and the waterfalls.”

“I said ‘sure, why not?’. You know me, I’m an understanding guy.”

“Yep” I concur.

“But then she asks me to go back home with her Slug. To MOTHERFUCKING VENEZUELA. Jim ain’t ready for no Venezuela. Jim’s barely ready for Austin. For now Jim’s perfectly fine, right here at the Bamboo Bordello.”

“Well I say Jimbo, how about a toast to the Bordello”.

“Here’s to the Bordello you slimy ol slug”

Just as our glasses clink, the big panda himself comes walking in through the swinging doors. While Fooo walks by with two beautiful exotic girls under each of his arms, he notices the two of us sitting and gets excited.

“Hey fellas, fancy seeing you here! Having another good Thursday night down here at Eve’s I presume? How bout I buy you two a round?”

“You better blv it.” We say.